Spoiler alert: If you haven't watched the "Entourage" finale and still want to, don't read this.
Ah well, I won't have "Entourage" to kick around anymore. And thankfully, the HBO series won't have women characters to screw up anymore, either.
The life-within-Hollywood show spent the entire season having its female characters behave like hideous shrews in order to throw everyone's relationship into a tizzy. Then, in the final episode, all it takes is some sweet-talking to bring everyone back into the fold. Even Vince -- a ladies man movie star throughout the run -- decides to get hitched, out of nowhere, to a journalist who initially wouldn't date him out of principle.
Yep, just the kind of stuff that happens around my office every day.
If real life was like this, all those high-paid divorce lawyers in the 90210 and surrounding areas would be out of business.
Not that anyone has ever counted on "Entourage" for reality, but even the little inside-baseball details -- which the program usually got very right -- went out the window this season. Hell, in recent episodes, a broadcast network -- shit, CBS CEO Leslie Moonves himself -- bought a TV movie. If that isn't fiction, I don't know what is.
Nevertheless, nothing in the last season -- which had already taken a dark turn that suggested the writers were either bored or trying to "raise the stakes," to use a favorite network development term, before the final farewell -- rang true. And while there's been talk of an "Entourage" movie, a la "Sex and the City," the loose ends left behind in Sunday's finale -- especially the future of Eric and Sloan -- felt like a cheat to whatever audience did give a damn.
Jeremy Piven -- always the best thing about the show -- did yield a few genuine moments as the agent who loves his family almost as much as he loves hurling insults at his employees, but there was simply too much inanity surrounding him to take the farewell seriously.
See you at the movies, guys. But if the follow-up actually happens and it's anything like this finale, it's going to be a lot closer to "Medellin" than "Aquaman."
UPDATE/Other views: Enjoyed reading some of the other reviews this morning. The New York Times' Alessandra Stanley was far more generous than I was, while Joe Flint was even more harsh in a recap for the Los Angeles Times.