Vidgame Study: Urge...To Kill...Rising...

Video Games: From the makers of Rock N' Roll music, Dungeons & Dragons, and other fine tools of Satan.

Playing Grand Theft Auto III turns undergraduate males into drug smoking, violent alcoholics a new study published in The Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine suggests.

The study “Effects of Media Violence on Health-Related Outcomes Among Young Men” sampled 100 males aged 18 to 21. The test subjects were randomly chosen to either play The Simpsons: Hit & Run (not so violent) or Grand Theft Auto III (you kill hookers).

The study concluded that “Men randomly assigned to play Grand Theft Auto III exhibited greater increases in diastolic blood pressure from a baseline rest period to game play, greater negative affect, more permissive attitudes toward using alcohol and marijuana, and more uncooperative behavior in comparison with men randomly assigned to play The Simpsons.”

Assuming increased diastolic blood pressure combined with negative attitudes is a leading cause of mass murder, followed by laying low at opium dens and crack houses, only leaving to buy cheap liquor, disguised with a crude mask made out of the skin of your victims – this reporter is outraged

Sadly, the study did pander (however slightly) to these electronic smut peddlers, conceding “Only among participants with greater exposure to home and community violence, play of Grand Theft Auto III led to elevated systolic blood pressure in comparison with play of The Simpsons.”

Obviously, the notion of young men who are regurarly exposed to violence in the family and/or community being physiologically aroused by violent media is ridiculous and missing the point. Let’s not go around pointing fingers towards societal or parental failures here. We don’t need to waste time playing the blame game here! Video games are the cause of violence and that's enough for me.