December
9 Capt. Jack Sparrow is a one-man morality clause

Not trusting its female guests to keep their bras on, Disneyland has swapped out "Pirates of the Caribbean" captain Jack Sparrow for the considerably more G-rated charms of "Tinkerbell" fairies. Disneyland spokeswoman Suzi Brown scoffed at the notion that the Sparrow character inspired tawdry behavior, calling the charge "absolutely false" and crediting the decision wholly to his decline in relevance and visitor requests. Well, who didn't see that coming, especially since Johnny Depp has agreed to reprise his role for the fourth time as the $2.7 billion franchise's smoky-eyed pirate. Disneyland says Sparrow will return to the park "someday" -- probably around 2012, which is when Disney has slated the next film for release. In the meantime, this nice fellow would like you to know that he's willing to travel and is available seven days a week. [KTLA -- thanks, Erin!]