This weekend, Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor will be interviewed at his L.A. home by Digg founder and Twitter buddy (ironically enough), Kevin Rose. Rose will pose the most popular questions submitted by fans.

From now until April 4th at 12:00pm PDT, Digg users will have an opportunity to submit questions and Digg up other inquiries that Rose will, in turn, field to Reznor.

Also, on Monday Tuesday, April 7th, Variety.com is teaming with Digg to play the Reznor-Rose interview in its entirety on our website(s), beginning at 10 am PT.

For more information on how and where to submit your questions, click here.

--Stuart Oldham

On June 14th, HBO and creator Alan Ball's Southern vampire series, "True Blood," returns.                (Deborah Ann Woll and Stephen Moyer, above)

While shooting Ridley Scott's upcoming Robin Hood pic in England, Russell Crowe found some down time to write a new poem. (Or, at least, borrow lyrics from Billy Bragg, Elvis Costello, John Lennon, Rudyard Kipling and The Bee Gees).

After being awarded the 'Actor of Our Lifetime' honor at Sunday's Empire Film Awards in London, Crowe read this self-penned entry to the audience:

I am celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo.

Imagine there's no heaven.

I don't know if you're loving somebody. To be a poet and not know the trade, to be a lover and repel all women. Twin ironies by which great saints are made, the agonising pincer-jaws of heaven.

If you can walk with crowds and keep your virtue, walk with kings but not lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much;

yours is the earth and everything that's in it and what's more, you'll be a man.

The Guardian claims Crowe's acceptance speech was in response to the 2002 BAFTA's, where Crowe delivered another lyrical composition only to have the poem cut out of the broadcast entirely.

"Thank you for this honor," Crowe said at Sunday's Empire gala. "And thank you for this opportunity to read some poetry at a British awards ceremony. It is one of my favourite things to do."

--Stuart Oldham

(File this one under IRONIC HALL OF SHAME)

Not that "Twilight" is Fellini or anything, but when MTV reality ditz star Whitney Port bashes the popular teen vampire series, you can't help but laugh your fangs off. (Watch below)

--Stuart Oldham

Fresh off their South American tour, Radiohead has unveiled plans to headline the Leeds and Reading festivals come August.

The U.K. music fests, which take place August 28-30 in England, will also feature Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Bloc Party.

Click here and here for the full lineup(s).

In other music news, the All Points West Festival has named Coldplay, Beastie Boys and Tool as its 2009 headliners. The Coachella-inspired event, which debuted last year to somewhat positive reviews, featured fest-monger Radiohead headlining two out of three nights.

The All Points West Music & Arts Festival kicks off July 31- Aug. 2 at Liberty State Park in New Jersey.

--Stuart Oldham

Last week on "Important Things with Demetri Martin," the Comedy Central star debuted the first trailer for director Ang Lee's new music feature, "Taking Woodstock."

The movie, based on Elliot Tiber's novel about the iconic '60s fest, stars Demetri Martin alongside Emile Hirsch, Liev Schreiber, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Paul Dano.

While this trailer feels a little like "Almost Famous" and "Milk's" love child (albeit on a smaller budget), it's refreshing to know that Focus Features is issuing a late Summer release (August 14th), when theaters and moviegoers have grown tired of relentless blockbuster action.

Plus, it's Ang Lee and hippies, which is pretty far out (we hope...).

While taking a break from shooting "Five Killers" in Nice, Ashton Kutcher recently decided to follow in his stunt double's footsteps and get his chest waxed. Why videotape such a thing? Beats us. All we know is: Ashton's assistant obviously doesn't have the heart to tell him that he's not funny.

Los Angeles makes celebrity cynicism second nature, but that's hard to maintain in the face of 350 troops' genuine surprise and gratitude. "I missed my plane," said one, "and I'm so glad!"

Backstory: The Bob Hope USO Center at LAX is often the last stop for newly minted soldiers before they're deployed overseas for active duty. And usually the experience consists of the chance to check their email and play a videogame or two. Enter Hotties with a Heart, a nonprofit founded by model-actress Candace Kita that basically gives hot chicks the chance to do good. And that's what they did Tuesday afternoon.

To greet the Camp Pendleton soldiers, take photos, sign autographs and ply them with food and drink, Kita enlisted two Playboy models (Christa Campbell and Jennifer Korbin), along with WWE Wrestling star Lena Yada, Enya Flack ("Days of our Lives," "The Sopranos") and D.B. Sweeney (TV series "Crash") thrown in for good measure.

So: Yay for the servicemen, yay for USO Center's executive director Michael Teilmann and yay for Hotties with a Heart. (If you have an event that could use their attention, here's a Facebook link.)

"A serviceman called me 'the Ann-Margret of today's generation,' says Kita. "I wear that title proudly."

Photos by  Bridie Macdonald. Video after the jump.

Director Spike Jonze and Warner Bros. bring the classic children's novel, "Where the Wild Things Are," to the bigscreen. Mark Ruffalo, Max Records, Catherine Keener and James Gandolfini star.

Metallica continues to beat around the bush about their possible departure from Warner Music Group and major labels as a whole.

Group mouthpiece Lars Ulrich told the L.A. Times that "the primary -- not the only, but the primary -- function of a record label is to act as a bank."

He went on to not only condemn the music industry methods, but Live Nation as well for "ripping people off."

Seems like Metallica is looking towards NIN's Trent Reznor on the how-tos for indie success since Reznor has been doing fine and dandy sans a major label.

For the full story and fun vid of Ulrich raving about Guitar Hero, check out this article on Business Insider.

-- Erin Maxwell

We haven't forgotten about you, Conan!

Check out the new TV ad for the "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" featuring Tina Fey, Paul Rudd and more. It's called "Tried Conan?" and it's kinda funny (and short).

The "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" debuts June 1 on NBC.

While vacationing in the Caribbean last year, Amy Winehouse apparently found the inspiration for her new album: tons of crack  reggae music.

Winehouse, who wrote and recorded several tracks while 'holidaying' in St. Lucia, recently submitted the new reggae jams to Island/Universal Records, who, in turn, said, 'No no no.'

According to English paper The Sun, label execs are none too thrilled that Winehouse has abandoned her trademark style of vintage soul.

"It is crucial Amy's return is handled properly,” one source tells The Sun. “If she puts out a record that is in any way half-baked, that could severely damage her long-term prospects."

Correct. Whip up a kick-ass record, Amy, and your "long-term prospects" look right as rain.

--Stuart Oldham

If your teenage daughter comes home this evening with a frown on her face, don't worry--she didn't get expelled (or at least, we hope not). She likely just overheard the news that Zac Efron is leaving "Footloose," Paramount's upcoming remake of the '80s dance pic.

Efron, who made a killing for Disney with the "High School Musical" franchise, was apparently fed up with the idea of making another musical and has recently jumped ship, according to The Wrap.

In an official statement, Paramount says: "Footloose is a project we've longed to see re-booted for a new generation. While Zac is no longer attached, we remain excited and committed to the collective brain trust of Kenny Ortega, Neil Meron and Craig Zaden, who will reinvigorate the franchise. Their fresh take on the film will undoubtedly be filled with the same kind of breakout performances that we’ve come to expect from them.”

No word yet on who will replace Efron (we're guessing it's not Chris Brown). The 21-year-old actor last shot director Richard Linklater's "Me and Orson Welles" with Claire Danes, which is still without a release date. Efron's also starring in the upcoming comedy, "17 Again," with Matthew Perry due April 17th.

--Stuart Oldham

Jason Segel is no stranger to "The Muppets." The "I Love You, Man" actor, who stopped by "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" on Friday to promote his new comedy, will be writing and directing Disney's upcoming revamp of the puppet franchise. Here, Statler and Waldorf (the original Ebert and Roeper) had some choice words for the Apatow spawn, as well as freshman late night host, Jimmy Fallon. Enjoy!

Nicholas Hughes, son of the great American poet, Sylvia Plath, has taken his own life. According to Hughes' sister, Freida, the 47 year-old hung himself on March 16th in Alaska. Hughes had reportedly battled depression for years.

Shaquille O'Neal loves media games. 

Check this out!

 Minneapolis based rapper P.O.S. does his best Eddie Vedder impersonation, singing "Why Go" off of the band's recently re-issued Ten.

Her Hollywood career may be M.I.A., but Lindsay Lohan apparently has a fan in Italy.

'Fornarina,' the Italian-based clothing company, recently shot a TV ad featuring the paparazzo Queen. Unfortunately, we don't know who to credit for the script (we're guessing NOT Dante), but Lohan's dialogue is pure gold. Enjoy.

p.s. Try saying 'career killer' three times fast.

--Stuart Oldham

 

Dust off those 'STP' bumper stickers and light up a cigarette, folks.

VH1 is reviving its popular "Behind the Music" series next year, beginning with an episode dedicated to Scott Weiland, the embattled lead-singer of 90's grunge act Stone Temple Pilots and most recently, Velvet Revolver.

Perfect for the show's pitfalls-of-rock-star metier, Weiland has long battled drugs and alcohol, including many public run ins with the law.

While we can't promise an insightful cameo from Slash, expect some blurry point-of-view re-enactments of Weiland stumbling out of the Roxy onto Sunset Blvd. (with 'Lethal Weapon' guitar solos in tow)

Also on tap is rap superstar Lil Wayne. Wayne, who should have an entire "Behind the Music" season dedicated to him, is a little premature for the show's 'where are they now?' hook. Still, 'Tha Carter' should make for great television. After all, it's not everyday that the cops pull you over to find 105 grams (3.7 ounces) of marijuana, 29 grams (1 ounce) of cocaine, and 41 grams (1.45 ounces) of ecstasy in your tour bus. 

--Stuart Oldham

Funny-man Stephen Colbert appeared on the "Today" show this morning to promote his upcoming USO tour in the Persian Gulf.

The rest is history...

Los Angeles city prosecutors have charged Kanye West with misdemeanor batter, grand theft, and vandalism over a videotaped tussle with paparazzi last year at LAX.

West and his manager, Dan Crawley, were caught on tape by celebrity gossip site TMZ grabbing one of the nagging photogs' cameras and smashing it to the ground.

(Watch video below)

If convicted, West faces up to two and a half years in prison for the Sept. 11 incident while Crawley, who was charged with six misdemeanors, faces six years.

--Stuart Oldham

Lead-singer Adam Duritz writes on the band's official site: "The internet opens a world of limitless possibility, where the only boundaries are the boundaries of your own imagination. We want a chance to push those boundaries back as far as we can."

While this is a far cry from Radiohead's pay-what-you-want release (2007), nor are the Crows as relevant as they used to be, the Bay Area-based quartet are yet another example of musicians opting for artistic and digital freedom.

Duritz also mentions that the Counting Crows will dedicate their new live album to, of all people, Madonna:

"This is a big change for us but it's a border we've been wanting to cross for a long time so we want to celebrate it. The best way to do that seems to be to give a little something to all of you since, after all, you've been with us the whole time too. So, in the spirit of this new frontier we're entering, we offer you our homage to a certain lady who honored us last year by expressing her longtime deep and abiding worship of our band by naming her entire album after one of ours. From us to you, Live from The Royal Albert Hall in London, our tribute to Madonna: "Borderline". Dig it."

--Stuart Oldham

Her films have grossed over $5 billion dollars worldwide. And with the release of "Duplicity" on the horizon, we beg the question: What's the best Julia Roberts movie??

Annoying Reminder: Feel free to mention something not featured below. (i.e. 'Mystic Pizza')

We all know how well Hulu's TV promos have done. The real question is: Which Hulu spokesperson is more smug: Alec Baldwin or Seth MacFarlane? Watch 'The Family Guy' creator's new spot for the mega video site and decide for yourself.

Meanwhile, Kanye West and Oscar-nominee Taraji P. Henson ("The Curious Case of Benjamin Button") will be lending their voices to an upcoming episode of "The Cleveland Show," Fox's "Family Guy" spin-off, starring Peter Griffin's slow-moving neighbor.

The episode is scheduled to air in 2010.

--Stuart Oldham

Caveat: Who the hell knows if any of this is real. But if you'd like to see Brian Eno Tweet smack to the manager of the Jesus and Mary Chain, or Lily Allen to Perez Hilton, or Perez Hilton to Ashton Kutcher, or a National Post reporter to a flack, please click here.

Bonus round: Lindsey Lohan's Tweets during what was for her, by any measure, a stressful weekend.

Modest Mouse has announced plans to release "King Rat," a music video animated by Terry Gilliam and directed by Heath Ledger. The song is a bonus track from the band's 2007 release "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank." No date set.

Also without a date is the other Ledger-Gilliam collaboration, "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus." Incomplete at the time of Ledger's death and since wrapped with the help of Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell, the $30 million film remains without a North American distributor (Lionsgate will release it in the UK).

If you haven't read Trent Reznor's thoughtful diatribe against the concert-ticket business, you oughta. Perhaps I should have known that it's standard practice to set aside 10% of the best seats so the performer can sell them to the highest bidder; but I didn't. Much more, below: [Hat tip: Stereogum]

As we approach on-sale dates for the upcoming tour, I've noticed lots of you are curious / concerned / outraged at the plethora of tickets that somehow appear on all these reseller sites at inflated prices - even before the pre-sale dates. I'll do my best to explain the situation as I see it, as well as clarify my organization's stance in the matter.

NIN decides to tour this summer. We arrive at the conclusion outdoor amphitheaters are the right venue for this outing, for a variety of reasons we've throughly considered*. In the past, NIN would sell the shows in each market to local promoters, who then "buy" the show from us to sell to you. Live Nation happens to own all the amphitheaters and bought most of the local promoters - so if you want to play those venues, you're being promoted by Live Nation. Live Nation has had an exclusive deal with TicketMaster that has just expired, so Live Nation launched their own ticketing service. Most of the dates on this tour are through Live Nation, some are through TicketMaster - this is determined by the promoter (Live Nation), not us.

Now we get into the issue of secondary markets for tickets, which is the hot issue here. The ticketing marketplace for rock concerts shows a real lack of sophistication, meaning this: the true market value of some tickets for some concerts is much higher than what the act wants to be perceived as charging. For example, there are some people who would be willing to pay $1,000 and up to be in the best seats for various shows, but MOST acts in the rock / pop world don't want to come off as greedy pricks asking that much, even though the market says its value is that high. The acts know this, the venue knows this, the promoters know this, the ticketing company knows this and the scalpers really know this. So...

The venue, the promoter, the ticketing agency and often the artist camp (artist, management and agent) take tickets from the pool of available seats and feed them directly to the re-seller (which from this point on will be referred to by their true name: SCALPER). I am not saying every one of the above entities all do this, nor am I saying they do it for all shows but this is a very common practice that happens more often than not. There is money to be made and they feel they should participate in it. There are a number of scams they employ to pull this off which is beyond the scope of this note.

StubHub.com is an example of a re-seller / scalper. So is TicketsNow.com.

Here's the rub: TicketMaster has essentially been a monopoly for many years - certainly up until Live Nation's exclusive deal ran out. They could have (and can right now) stop the secondary market dead in its tracks by doing the following: limit the amount of sales per customer, print names on the tickets and require ID / ticket matches at the venue. We know this works because we do it for our pre-sales. Why don't THEY do it? It's obvious - they make a lot of money fueling the secondary market. TicketMaster even bought a re-seller site and often bounces you over to that site to buy tickets (TicketsNow.com)!

NIN gets 10% of the available seats for our own pre-sale. We won a tough (and I mean TOUGH) battle to get the best seats. We require you to sign up at our site (for free) to get tickets. We limit the amount you can buy, we print your name on the tickets and we have our own person let you in a separate entrance where we check your ID to match the ticket. We charge you a surcharge that has been less than TicketMaster's or Live Nation's in all cases so far to pay for the costs of doing this - it's not a profit center for us. We have essentially stopped scalping by doing these things - because we want true fans to be able to get great seats and not get ripped off by these parasites.

I assure you nobody in the NIN camp supplies or supports the practice of supplying tickets to these re-sellers because it's not something we morally feel is the right thing to do. We are leaving money on the table here but it's not always about money.

Being completely honest, it IS something I've had to consider. If people are willing to pay a lot of money to sit up front AND ARE GOING TO ANYWAY thanks to the rigged system, why let that money go into the hands of the scalpers? I'm the one busting my ass up there every night. The conclusion really came down to it not feeling like the right thing to do - simple as that.

My guess as to what will eventually happen if / when Live Nation and TicketMaster merges is that they'll move to an auction or market-based pricing scheme - which will simply mean it will cost a lot more to get a good seat for a hot show. They will simply BECOME the scalper, eliminating them from the mix.

Nothing's going to change until the ticketing entity gets serious about stopping the problem - which of course they don't see as a problem. The ultimate way to hurt scalpers is to not support them. Leave them holding the merchandise. If this subject interests you, check out the following links. Don't buy from scalpers, and be suspect of artists singing the praises of the Live Nation / TicketMaster merger. What's in it for them?

Hollyscoop had it first; the AP confirmed it this morning.

(A 9:30 PST call to media relations at the LAPD Friday night yielded little. "People are calling like crazy," the officer said. "But no one's told us anything. They wouldn't tell us, about a warrant.")

In the meantime, there was plenty of Lindsay Lohan reading material. There was the story about Lohan's screaming row with her girlfriend (one in a series). And that in the process, she left her bodyguard "stranded" in Vegas. I also read about her new role, as a hawker of spray tans. And more good news: she settled the lawsuit over the fur coat she may or may not have stolen.

However, there was a distinct dearth of the sort of material that would have made this a "real" story. Such as: What will this mean for her shooting schedule? (It's not clear that she has one.)

 (Image credit: Studio Systems)

What about her promotional responsibilities? (Her only completed film is "Labor Pains," the feature debut of Lara Shapiro in which Lohan stars opposite Cheryl Hines. The trailer has been available on YouTube since September; according to IMDB, it is slated for release May 16 through Labor Prods.)

Then there's the last refuge of celebrity-tackling show-business reporters: Will this make her uninsurable?

A better question: Is that a moot point?

Full disclosure: I am a big fan of "Big Love." And I find the LDS (Latter-day Saints, aka Mormon) faith fairly baffling. 

That said, I thought this was an interesting, detailed and reasonable take on the whole HBO vs. the Mormons controversy. (And if this sounds a little like a press release, the author owns a PR agency; he probably can't help it.)

[EDITED TO ADD: I've posted a LDS-sanctioned video, "Why Mormons Build Temples." Equal voice and all that. Thanks to commenter HiveRadical for the suggestion.]

Dear Daily Variety and Daily Variety Readers:
 
As a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("Mormon") I am certainly not surprised that HBO is moving forward with its plans to air a segment of "Big Love" that purports to show scenes from what is arguably one of the most sacred portions of the LDS religion -- the temple endowment ceremony.
 
Then again, I am disappointed in HBO as I would have hoped that HBO and its parent company, Time-Warner, would have been more respectful of the faith and a people who have experienced significant persecution during its 175-year history. Obviously, those were false hopes.
 
More importantly, it appears that in spite of communications to the LDS Church to the contrary, HBO and the producers and writers of "Big Love" seem intent on blurring the line between the LDS/Mormon Church and the failed and illegal practices of a few polygamists.
 
As a practicing polygamist, Jeanne Tripplehorn's character, Barb, would not be allowed into a dedicated Mormon temple where sacred rites are performed and religious instructions are given. She would not pass muster in the two worthiness interviews required with two local leaders of her local & regional congregations before she could receive a "letter of recommendation" to provide her with access inside a temple.
 
In truth, anyone (Polygamist, Christian, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, Gentile, Wiccan, Atheist, or whatever) can enter any Mormon meeting house around the world and attend any of our regularly scheduled meetings, and they can do so without being baptized and becoming converted to the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
 
That said, entrance into any LDS temple first requires baptism into the LDS Church and continued adherance to minimal standards for at least a year after baptism before one is eligible to seek a Temple Recommend.
 
Some of these Temple Recommend standards include

*  no smoking;
*  no drinking of alcohol, coffee or tea;
*  no use of illegal drugs;
*  no misuse of prescription drugs or medications;
*  no sexual activities outside of (or before) a legal and lawful marriage relationship;
*  paying of tithing (10 percent of annual income);
*  regular attendance at Church meetings;
*  volunteer service within the Church;
*  acceptance of the current President of the LDS Church as Prophet, Seer and Revelator;
*  belief in God the Eternal Father, Jesus Christ as the Son of God and the Redeemer of the world, and the Holy Ghost as the 3rd member of the Godhead (and each of these beings as separate and distinct individuals);

and (though perhaps last in this list, but not least for this commentary)
*  agreement to follow and obey the laws of the land where you live.
 
Last I checked it is illegal to be in a polygamous relationship in the U.S. It is also grounds for removal from the Mormon Church if a Latter-day Saint is found to be practicing polygamy and will not give it up. Practicing polygamy will also prevent one from being able to A) be baptized into the LDS Church and B) from receiving a Temple Recommend allowing one to enter an LDS Temple.
 
I am ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that the "Big Love" writers and producers know these facts. I am ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that the management of HBO and Time-Warner know these facts.
 
Unfortunately, I am also ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that the segment of "Big Love" scheduled to premiere this weekend will air as scheduled.
 
By doing so, the HBO and all affiliated with "Big Love" will do all Latter-Day Saints and the public at large a huge disservice by blatantly depicting not only something that is held as being supremely sacred by Mormons around the world, but also by depicting and promulgating a lie that a practicing polygamist (like the character "Barb") would ever be allowed into an LDS Temple. Then again, I have a hard time believing that any practicing polygamist would even want to go through a Mormon Temple ceremony; but hey, who am I to judge?
 
At the end of the day, I agree with the premise that HBO has the constitutional right to produce and air "Big Love" as well as this forthcoming segment.
 
I also have the right to NOT watch "Big Love" and to point out the the world and to HBO what I believe to be HBO's patently misleading, hurtful, salacious and disrespectful approach to all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
 
Sincerely,
 
 
David Politis

As Jimmy Fallon finishes up his second week on NBC, we look back at some of the show's funnier moments thus far. (Robert De Niro did not make the cut.)

Opening night skit with Conan

Drew Barrymore plays 'Lick it for Ten':

"The Gadsden Purchase":

Tina Fey: Interview

Green screen fun with Amanda Peet:

"Rejected Chair":

Jimmy plays ping-pong against Serena Williams:

Michael Stipe: Smile with your eyes:

"Heathers: The Musical" sounds like a great idea to us. The movie came out more than 20 years ago and it's still seared into our brainpans. "Race to Witch Mountain" director Andy Fickman, who directed the "Reefer Madness" musical, is developing the project with "Legally Blonde" composer Larry O'Keefe. Original producer Denise DiNovi is serving as the musical's executive producer; not directly involved is writer Dan Waters, though he's given the thumbs up:

The project has the blessing of Waters, who controls the underlying rights to the material. Fickman said he sat down with Waters early on "to make sure we were on the same page" and that Waters has seen the readings.
"He understood that our goals were to be creatively attuned to his original work," said Fickman.
The film offered many over-top-moments as well as choice lines, something Fickman is eager to bring out musically.
" 'I love my dead gay son,' " Fickman quoted. "If you can get that into a song, then that is just perfect."

Indeed it is. Just imagine the possibilities: "How Very," "F*ck Me Gently with a Chainsaw," "Great Pâté, Mom, But I've Gotta Motor" "Bulimia is so '87" and of course, "Our Love is God (Now Let's Go Get a Slushie)." That one should bring down the house. [THR] 

The Featured Artists' Coalition, a collection of bands and musicians that include Radiohead, Blur and Billy Bragg, are teaming to discuss the music industry is in and give artists more control over their music. Bragg wrote about FAC in the Comment Is Free blog in the Guardian: "Our target is not the music fan but the businesses that are making huge profits by exploiting artistic content for which they pay little or nothing at all." [Techradar]

From Parents Television Council president Tim Winter: "Fox treated viewers to everything from an ‘eleven-way’ gay orgy to baby Stewie eating a bowl of cereal with horse sperm instead of milk ... if that isn’t enough, the show’s leading character is also shown fanaticizing [sic] about his wife and moaning while a horse licks his bare behind. Clearly, the explicit content was not isolated to one instance in one segment of the show; it permeated the entire program." Said "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane when asked about the PTC last year: "They can all suck my d**k as far as I’m concerned." [THRFeed]

The dates, March 25-27, celebrate his new albums, "LOtUSFLOW3R" and "MPLSoUND." Prince will also play Jay Leno's final night on the Tonight Show, May 28. The albums drop March 29 as part of a three-disc set (the third is by new artist Bria Valente) available only through Target. It's the latest in artists performing multi-night stands, much as U2 did last week on the "Late Show with David Letterman" and the White Stripes and the Strokes both did for "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." [Billboard]

FROM: Steven Gaydos, executive editor, Variety
TO: Joey Gaydos, Jr.
RE: Your recent DUI

Dear Joey:

We met at the London premiere of "School of Rock." When I introduced myself as a fellow Gaydos, not much was said beyond a few "wows" and "no kidding." So surnames aside, it's not like I know you well.

Today, you made headlines -- not for your band, the Joey Gaydos Group, but for a DUI four years' shy of legal drinking age. And whether or not we're related somewhere, I feel it's my Hungarian-Slovakian duty to point out that "Gaydos" comes from the Hungarian name "Gajdos." To wit:

So: If you're fated to be a drunken singer, try to create something worth remembering first. And even if you don't, you probably already have enough fame to cash in groupie tickets in for the rest of your life. Don't set yourself up to miss a lifetime of girls and glory; you've got the family name to consider.

Sincerely,

Long-lost Uncle Steve Gaydos

As if "American Idol" didn't have enough problems. First they have to deal with contestants who sing Meatloaf; now they must do battle with illicit content aimed at folks who misdial while voting for their favorite performers.

While the producers unveiled the surprise twist of 13 contestants rather than the usual 12, folks at home are due for their own surprise twist if they attempt to dial 1-866-IDOLS-13 or 1-866-IDOLS-00. Instead of casting a vote for one of the 13 wannabes, at-home viewers get an earful of dirty talk from "hot and horny girls" provided by an industrious phone sex company that found a niche among fat-fingered reality fans.

One Idol fan provides an audio demonstration here. You have been warned.

We have a call into "American Idol" about the issue; more to come. -- Erin Maxwell 

Ira Glass' "This American Life" will be simulcast live to 400 screens for one night in April in a program that will include "a special musical performance" by Joss Whedon.

The April 23 broadcast will originate from New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. "This American Life – Live!" will be sent live via satellite at 8 pm EDT to more than 400 movie theaters and performing arts centers nationwide.

 The two-hour show, with the theme "Return to the Scene of the Crime," will also include performances by Dan Savage, Starlee Kine, Mike Birbiglia, David Rakoff and Dave Hill, plus a cartoon by Chris Ware. Tickets and a list of participating theaters are available at Fathom Events.

This will be the second year that "This American Life" has simulcast its program. “The live cinema transmission was surprisingly effective," said Glass. "Last year was mostly a sneak preview of stories from our television show. This year we’re excited to do a full-on stage performance of the radio show.”

Half a decade after Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg declared their primacy, James Franco is about to begin production on "Howl," the story of Ginsberg and his obscenity trial over the film's titular poem. Walter Salles is still trying to kickstart a bigscreen version of Kerouac's "On the Road," though Salles' reps say it still doesn't have a start date. (Producer Francis Ford Coppola is used to waiting; he's held the book's feature rights since 1968.)  And the martini-soaked gray-flannel suit ad-racket drones of "Mad Men" are the epitome of what the Beats railed against.

And then there's Beat-era writer Herbert Gold, who was Ginsberg's lifelong friend and panned “On the Road” for the Nation in 1957. Says Gold, now 85: “I didn’t buy a lot of it."

In a rare public appearance, Michael Jackson held a press conference Thursday at London's O2 Arena to announce "This Is It," aka his "final U.K. performances" (10 of them) at the arena this summer. Sitting in front of a royal red backdrop and sporting a Jackie Onassis hairdo, Jackson looked more like King Cobra than the King of Pop.

(The above video comes from a Michael Jackson fansite, Maximum-Jackson, which faithfully did its best to drum up anticipation for the announcement by assembling a collection of concert footage from throughout the Gloved One's career, with a generous emphasis on those periods when his face did not appear to have been planed.)
 
"I'm going to play the hits, whatever the fans want to hear," Jackson said. Or, to put it another way: Whatever pays off his massive debts. Toward that end, Jackson's Neverland Ranch belongings will be auctioned off April 22 in Beverly Hills.

"Everything must go," according to Julien's Auctions, which is selling personal items such as the pop star's white glove, the Neverland gates and lifesize marble and bronze sculptures of the King of Pop. The auction is preceded with a week-long exhibition that begins April 14. 

While admission for that preview is $20 a head, it promises a spread of worldly goods to rival those of King Tut. The collection is large enough to be divided into eight "sessions:" Garden Statuary and Outdoor Furniture; Antiques, Paintings and Fine Decorative Art; and two sessions each dedicated to Furniture and Decorative Arts; Amusements, Arcade Games and Disneyana; and Memorabilia From the Life and Career of Michael Jackson. Each is represented by its own thick catalog; see below for screen grabs, but it's really worth at least a virtual visit.

RELATED: Not so fast! Michael Jackson sues auction house

More photos, after the jump.

Now imagine "Watchmen" as directed by Woody Allen, Sofia Coppola, Judd Apatow, Quentin Tarantino and Tyler Perry. Your subconscious will haunt thank you for years to come. [Slate]

Fanboys be damned. If there's an award for most aggressive, all-encompassing viral campaigning, I'm giving it to "Watchmen."

Full disclosure: I've never read the graphic novel and I have neither interest nor enmity toward the movie. However, the onslaught of fresh online promotional material -- consistent while stopping short of bludgeoning -- has been truly impressive.

Credit goes to London-based outfits Picture Production Company and Rubber Republic, which today sent me a link that allows you to run through Rorschach's psychological evaluation and unlock a half-dozen unseen film scenes.

Rubber Republic "engagement planner" (those kooky Brits) Adam Abu-Nab writes:

Probably one of my sad final Watchmen notes... There's also a huge Dr. Manhattan projection I'll be filming over the Thames tonight using the world's largest water projector. I'll drop you a note later when I've popped it up on YouTube! Should be fun though. (hope it's not nude, mind).

For those keeping track at home, the film's Rotten Tomatoes rating has slipped from 82% on Monday to 64% today (as of 7:30pm PST). Noted: USA Today memorably describes Billy Crudup's Dr. Manhattan as an "NC-17-rated member of the Blue Man Group, draws comparisons to "Showgirls" and finally dismisses the movie as "only a jot more entertaining than 'Catwoman' " Meowch.

Now it can be told: In addition to destroying Hollywood, profits and the American way, film piracy also supports organized crime and terrorism.

Further studies will likely show piracy also induces acne and IRS audits, but I'm getting ahead of myself. On March 3, the Rand Corp. released a 182-page report, "Film Piracy, Organized Crime and Terrorism." (You can watch a video about the report here). Viz.:

It presents detailed case studies from around the globe in one area of counterfeiting, film piracy, to illustrate the broader problem of criminal—and perhaps terrorist—groups finding a new and not-much-discussed way of funding their nefarious activities. Although there is less evidence of involvement by terrorists, piracy is high in payoff and low in risk for both groups, often taking place under the radar of law enforcement.

and:

"Given the enormous profit margins, it's no surprise that organized crime has moved into film piracy," said Greg Treverton, the report's lead author and director of the Center for Global Risk and Security at RAND, a nonprofit research organization. "The profits are high and penalties for being caught are relatively low."

RAND researchers found no evidence terrorists are widely involved with film piracy, but they outline three cases where film piracy supported terror groups and warn that such connections could grow in the future.

"If you buy pirated DVDs, there is a good chance that at least part of the money will go to organized crime and those proceeds fund more-dangerous criminal activities, possibly terrorism," Treverton said.

While the study was funded by the Motion Picture Association, Rand states that "the views expressed herein are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the MPA." And as described, the research sounds impressive: 14 case studies of film piracy, 2,000 pages of documents and interviews "with more than 120 law enforcement and intelligence agents from more than 20 countries," all of which point to the involvement of organized crime in South America, Russia and Asia.

The report also "outlines three cases where film piracy has helped support terrorist groups." These include the Irish Republican Army, an Indian group responsible for the 1993 "Black Friday" bombings in Mumbai and a Hezbollah-financing group located on "the tri-border area of Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay."

According to the report, profit margins on pirated DVDs are much higher than those for, say, Iranian heroin and Columbian cocaine. And the penalties are much lower. In France, for example, selling counterfeit products can get you a two-year prison term and a $190,000 fine; sell drugs and you'll see 10 years in prison and a $9.5 million fine.

Compelling stuff... but what are we supposed to do about it? The MPA is the international counterpart of the Motion Picture Association of America -- you know, the organization that just lost $20 million to budget cuts and is seeing a reduction of its overall size and scope for the same reasons that everything seems to be seeing a reduction of its overall size and scope. And for all those pages of evidence, it's hard to imagine a day when selling a pirated DVD is considered tantamount to a bindle of heroin. [Hat tips to Threat Level, Chamber Post and D.R. Stewart]

Yes, indeedy. They got a street and everything.

Although with all due respect, I am hoping that their new CD ("No Line on the Horizon") contains tuneage more appealing than what they brought last night.

Hollywood, ask not for whom the Napster tolls; it tolls for thee.

Yesterday, All Things D writer Peter Kafka had a "Huh?" moment while examining comScore's top 10 video sites for January. Number 10 was something out of Hong Kong called MegaVideo, which knocked out previous placeholder ESPN.

Today, readers set him straight on why that was so: "It’s a really good way to watch pirated movies and TV shows online."

Writes Kafka:

The trick, it turns out, is not to go to MegaVideo itself to look for “The Dark Knight” or HBO’s new “Eastbound & Down” show. Instead you head to sites like movietvonline.com or sidereel.com, and they’ll direct you to one of MegaVideo’s streams. The stuff generally appears to be pretty good quality, and it’s much easier to access than a BitTorrent download – if you can use Hulu, you can use this stuff.

Can’t Hollywood try to crack down on sites like MegaVideo and the sites that showcase their streams? After all, Google’s (GOOG) YouTube was once a piracy haven, and is much less so now. Same thing with DailyMotion, etc.

Sure. But the Chinese government has, um, a mixed record when it comes to IP protection. And in any event, we’re certainly going to see more of these coming down the pike, and it’s only going to be more commonplace.It’s the same scenario the music guys faced at the end of the 1990s, and they screwed it up. Look at them now.

The industry can hash out payment plans later. But first, those who make money creating and distributing video need to move very fast to get their stuff in front of viewers, wherever they want to see it. Because MegaVideo is already doing it.

Indeed. In fact, the site's "about" page lays it out quite plainly:

Megavideo was built by the same people who brought you Megaupload.com. We allow our partners and users to keep 100% of all advertising earnings. Your content, your money. We just charge a little fee for bandwidth and coffee.

Bandwidth and coffee! A little fee! Harmless, really.

To which I'll add an additional note o' doom: Should anyone be taking comfort in MegaVideo being only no. 10 out of 10 with 102 millon streams, please note that the average MegaVideo viewer spent a whopping 367 minutes on the site -- more than six hours. That's more than twice the amount spent by its nearest minutes-per-viewer competitor, Google, which sits at no. 1. With 6 billion streams Google dwarfs MegaVideo, but claims only 159 minutes per viewer. (Noted: Nos. 2-9 are in the double and single digits.)

Furthermore: If studios had hoped anyone else might, you know, do something about this, it might have been wise to look beyond the MPAA for cutbacks. Carl DiOrio at the Hollywood Reporter writes that member studios cut more than $20 million from the organization's budget, "forcing broad staff and program reductions in a series of steps expected to permanently reduce the scope and size of the six-member studio group." Today, the future is spelled DIY.

Want to be a Hollywood highroller, but think you don't have the scratch? Think again! With banks and hedge funds fleeing for the exits, there's an opportunity to get on the ground floor financing films for major studios -- all at deep discounts that would make Costco blush.

Sue Zeidler for Reuters writes:

After some box office duds, such as Tom Cruise's "Lions for Lambs," and the credit freeze, most banks with the exception of JPMorgan have reduced their presence in Hollywood. Some are trying to sell off their positions in slate deals for discounts of 30 percent to 70 percent.

For example, Content Partners LLC backed by Mark Cuban and Todd Wagner is a pioneer in acquiring films in the secondary market from hedge funds, private equity firms and banks.

"Not only are we buying from financial sellers but we're also looking at transactions for the first time with studios and networks for participations in TV shows and film profits," said Content Partners President Steven Kram.

"We've already purchased 34 films and over 200 hours of television. We can provide a new source of financing for studios and networks who are being squeezed for every penny."

Another investor swooping in on slates of movie deals in Hollywood is David Molner, managing director of Beverly Hills, California-based Screen Capital International.

"I'm five times as busy as I used to be. We launched a $500 million fund that is financing the acquisition of assets in studio slate deals," said Molner. "We are taking the participants in finance deals out of their capital positions in studio slate deals."

That said, caveat emptor: Zeidler points out that "investors racked up hundreds of millions of dollars in losses and complained the studios tilted terms to keep sure-fire hit movies out of the slates." Cheeky devils!

Moody's Investors Services analysts Neil Begley said about $80 million in debt tied to Paramount's so-called Melrose I slate, covering films released from 2003 to 2005, including "Get Rich or Die Tryin'," may soon default.

"Based on the expected cash flows for the film assets, the Class A notes will not be paid in full by their legal final maturity," said Begley. Paramount declined to comment.

Bankers told Reuters that investors in Paramount's subsequent Melrose II film slate, with titles like "Blades of Glory," are now unloading their stakes.

Duly noted. Also: Watch out if anyone suggests that you become a "net profit participant." Like a funeral home that offers afterlife valet services, it's the most useless and cynical of good intentions. [Hat tip: The Business Sheet]

UN-EFFING-BELIEVABLE.

From NPR:

Bernard Madoff and his wife claim they are entitled to keep a $7 million Manhattan apartment and an additional $62 million in assets.

Court papers filed on Monday state that Madoff and his lawyer say the Manhattan penthouse and money held in accounts of Madoff's wife, Ruth, are not subject to seizure.

The court papers say Madoff claims the apartment and the $62 million are unrelated to a $50 billion fraud Madoff has been accused of carrying out.

The $62 million contains $45 million in municipal bonds on deposit in an account held by Ruth Madoff and $17 million in her name at Wachovia Bank.

In other words, Bernie and Ruth claim that they are entitled to keep $69 million in assets because they somehow remain entirely separate and distinct from the $50 billion in other people's money that Bernie Madoff folded into breathtaking origami and threw in the air while he did the hokey-pokey and turned himself around. Because THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

(As metaphors go, I know that one's specious bordering on insane. And, given the circumstances, entirely appropriate.)

God bless Catholic League president Bill Donohue, who can always be counted on for a good, if Quixotic, fight. Today was the first of multiple press releases regarding his campaign to educate the public about the agenda behind Ron Howard's adaptation of Dan Brown's “Angels & Demons.” Says Donohue:

Next week we will begin to make available to the public a booklet that I wrote on ‘Angels & Demons.’ It details the myths, lies and smears that are made against the Catholic Church. It also provides evidence of the anti-Catholic animus harbored by those associated with the film.... Brown-Howard are obsessed with Catholicism. It is not enough to criticize it—they are hell bent on demonizing it. It is not enough to drag out dirty laundry—they invent it. And the fact that they pay absolutely no price for their propaganda shows beyond dispute that anti-Catholicism is the one bigotry Hollywood likes.

OK! For those keeping track at home, here's what we can expect:

TUESDAY, MARCH 3: "We will have something to say about the lies."

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4: "We will address the anti-Catholic sentiments of the producers and film crew."

WEEK OF MARCH 9: "We will release the booklet."

THEREAFTER: "By the time we are finished with ‘Angels & Demons,’ there should be few who won’t know what the Brown-Howard agenda entails.”

Looking forward to it, Mr. Donohue. In the meantime, I only hope his booklet can live up to the expectations of the tracts from my youth:

Beware: A fanboy's frenzy cuts both ways. The theaters are booked, the videos have gone viral (the above clip, posted to YouTube this morning, is the last one of a weeks-long campaign) and release of the long-anticipated, lawsuit-strewn "Watchmen" is just days away... but there are signs that a backlash tsunami could be brewing.

James Hunt at Den of Geek writes:

It might surprise you to learn this, but as a comics fan, I have no interest in seeing the Watchmen movie.... Frank Miller’s Spirit already demonstrated perfectly well why you might not want to see Watchmen. The beauty of Eisner’s comics was never anything to do with the pulpy characters – it was all about the design of the page, the flow of the storytelling, the very act of Eisner re-inventing a medium even as he worked within it. You can try to make a film reflect that, but the one thing you can’t do is copy it.

[snip]

By his own admission, Watchmen is nothing more than Snyder attempting to get people to read the graphic novel – and hey, I’m way ahead of him... this is one case where the book isn’t just better than the film – it makes the film unnecessary.

Well, then what about those of us who haven't been previously inculcated into the "Watchmen" cult? Variety's own Justin Chang (who read the graphic novel before reviewing the film but did not count himself among its original fans) says that the film offers little opportunity to inspire fresh converts:

Yet the movie is ultimately undone by its own reverence; there’s simply no room for these characters and stories to breathe of their own accord, and even the most fastidiously replicated scenes can feel glib and truncated. As “Watchmen” lurches toward its apocalyptic (and slightly altered) finale, something happens that didn’t happen in the novel: Wavering between seriousness and camp, and absent the cerebral tone that gave weight to some of the book’s headier ideas, the film seems to yield to the very superhero cliches it purports to subvert.

Oh. And as Anne Thompson points out, Anthony Lane at the New Yorker buries the film:

The problem is that Snyder, following Moore, is so insanely aroused by the look of vengeance, and by the stylized application of physical power, that the film ends up twice as fascistic as the forces it wishes to lampoon. The result is perfectly calibrated for its target group: nobody over twenty-five could take any joy from the savagery that is fleshed out onscreen, just as nobody under eighteen should be allowed to witness it.

A fanboy might ask: What do you expect? It's the New Yorker. Meanwhile, Fandango reported today that the film currently comprises 61% of the site’s sales, with dozens of midnight Thursday night showtimes already sold out. And there are plenty of critics swift to disagree with the naysayers; RT currently gives the film an 82% rating ("technical and thematic strengths overwhelm its narrative shortcomings").

Of course, "Watchmen" creator Alan Moore has long distanced himself entirely from this adaptation and any others that might stem from his works. Maybe his futuristic visions are even more accurate than we'd thought.

RELATED: Five graphic novels Hollywood needs to stay away from [MovieRetriever]