If anything goes wrong, my confusion will be my constant. Let's just scrawl that right now in this e-journal, for my own safety.

I think you need a degree in physics to keep up with tonight's installment of "Lost." Near as I can tell, we've learned that the island and its immediate environs are big hunks of 3-D swiss cheese, full of all kinds of holes your consciousness can fall into and out of on its way to goodness knows where, or when. I just know there's a wrinkle coming up soon with a character named Madeleine. Or L'Engle.

Our intrepid traveler in this episode, "The Constant," was Desmond Hume. This we should've been able to predict. As usual, nice work from Henry Ian Cusick, who is underrated as a "Lost" hero, in my book. It takes a good actor to be convincingly nutso. I was surely convinced by the end of the seg, penned by Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof and directed by Jack Bender.

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who spent the first 20 minutes or so of the seg trying to figure out if Des' scenes in the military boot-camp setting were flash-forwards or flashbacks. Des loses his mind and his memory while he and Sayid and pilot Frank are helicoptering in to the boat and hit a rough patch, weather and otherwise.

"This is wrong," Desmond tells his fellow grunts. "I'm not supposed to be here." Bet he's not the first recruit to the Royal Scots Regiment to utter those words.

Back on the island, we get a flash of Juliet's steely charm as she forcefully gets Faraday and Rebecca to spill a little of what they know about the problems of time-perceptions and the unfortunate side effects that some folks experience when traveling to and from the island. I was utterly confused at 9:30 about what they were trying to say, but by 9:55 the explanation seemed to be that because of the turbulence in the copter, Desmond's consciouness was traveling back and forth between 1996 and 2004.

As if those kind of frequent flier miles aren't hard enough on a guy, it turns out he can be prompted to do certain things in the earlier or later time frame by Faraday, who seems to think it's 1976, by the looks of his hair in the flashback scenes.

The temperature on "Hot Flashes" is rising.

The fictional blog entries by "Grey's Anatomy" scribe Mimi Schmir for the First Wives World website got a starry showcase on Tuesday night at the home of Ann Blanchard, the former WMA lit agent turned manager at Mosiac Media.

Blanchard co-hosted the reading of passages "Hot Flashes" with her former WMA colleague Cori Wellins, as a warmup for formally pitching the property to prospective TV buyers.

Thesps pitching in for Tuesday's reading were Amy Brenneman, Dana Delany, Natasha Henstridge,  Kathryn Morris and KaDee Strickland. "Flashes" revolves around the adventures of Esme, a  pre-menopausal mom who's trying to move on with her life after he husband leaves her for  -- yep -- a younger woman.

First Wives World is billed as a Web hub for the nation's 30 million divorced women. Company's production arm has a musical bound for the Rialto, "First Wives Club." Blanchard and Wellins are thinking cable for the prospective TV skein.

(Pictured from left: Natasha Henstridge, Amy Brenneman, Mimi Schmir, Kathryn Morris and Dana Delany)

Hey, look who showed up Sunday night at Radio City Music Hall for the last night of Will Ferrell's "Funny or Die" comedy tour: Tom Brokaw.

The NBC anchorman emeritus proved that the good sense of humor he always displayed in all those  "Late Night with David Letterman" appearances has not been lost in retirement. Ferrell by all accounts (here's the New York Times' take on the perf) had a lot of fun in his Ron Burgundy guise with this "anchorman-vs.-anchorman" moment, alternately grilling and chilling with the TV icon that Burgundy quickly dubbed "T-Bo."

All kidding aside, the eight-city  "Funny or Die" tour (designed to promote his latest comedy, "Semi-Pro," which bows this week, and the tour's namesake FunnyOrDie.com website in which Ferrell is a partner) did boffo business as it wound through college towns in chilly Northeastern climes this month. It's a comedy caravan that is likely to be replicated in some form in a city near you in the near future, as Variety noted earlier this week. There's been a clamor on this coast because Ferrell and his co-stars, Zach Galifianakis, Demetri Martin and Nick Swardson, haven't come anywhere near the 310, 323 or even the 818.

You gotta respect Ferrell for his love of the game. Instead of going for the cushy presenter slot (and swag bag) on the Oscar telecast, he spent Hollywood's Biggest Night on the opposite end of the country, digging the company of a few thousand fans, a fellow anchorman and three loopy cohorts who got an early, career-boosting Christmas present from Ferrell this year.

POSTED BY STUART LEVINE Cynthia's comments below

Omar dead.

If only Omar had listened to the surgeon general, who told us years ago that smoking kills. Buying a pack of Newports at a Korean convenience store, Omar was gunned down not by Snoop or Chris but by Kenard, the pre-teen kid who would hassle Dukie whenever he walked by.

But that it was Kenard, who actually used to look up to Omar, is almost besides the point. Killing is so random on the blight-infested streets of "The Wire" that there's often nary a reason drugslingers -- most of which are only in their teens and 20s -- often find a bullet in the back of the head. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time, unknowingly pissing off a drug lord and or having your allegiances questioned is all it takes.

Not that Omar was a seller. Maybe at one time, but he'd seen the evils of all that dope on the streets and tried, in his own way, to clean his hood just a little.

Omar's demise wasn't all that unexpected. He'd been living dangerously for awhile now, especially since coming back from Puerto Rico after learning Butchie and Prop Joe were offed. And limping around on a bad leg -- I still love Marlo's line, "That's some Spider-Man shit," after realizing that Omar jumped out of the fourth- or fifth-story window -- made him an easier target.

Kudos to Michael K. Williams, who had a throwaway minimal role in the third episode of season one and turned Omar into a fan favorite. As it turned out, his death wasn't even worth a mention in the Sun, but how do you compress his tumultuous life into a couple of graphs anyway?

Other observations while wondering if Bubbles prefers to go by Reggie:

First thing that jumps out at me is there are a lotta TV stars on the presenter roster already, not to mention our host with the most, Jon Stewart, who's already off to a nice, low-key but irreverent start.

Post show thoughts: Stewart wasn't just good, he was great. Very Carson-esque. Not too showy, didn't hog the spotlight, looked like he was having fun. Very little schtick, just a few good lines peppered in here and there. Stewart's bit about watching "Lawrence of Arabia" on an iPod screen was funny and brief. Overall, Gil Cates deserves another round of applause (after delivering the director's cut last month on the studio contract that broke the logjam of the writers strike) for keeping the show moving, and keeping the focus on the business at hand.

Jennifer Garner, who'll always be Sydney Bristow of "Alias" fame to us, delivered the costume design honor. George Clooney intro'd a nice clip package, and we claim Clooney as a guy with TV roots (after all those pilots.) Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway came out to announce the animation honor ("Ratatouille" won, as it should have) to the theme of "Get Smart" (Carell toplines the upcoming feature remake of the 1960s Mel Brooks-Buck Henry sitcom.)

And "Grey's Anatomy" star Katherine Heigl, who looks absolutely stunning in an old-school platinum blonde way, handled the makeup honors, appropriately enough. No doubt Oscar announcer was carefully drilled in the proper pronunciation of Heigl (Hi - gelle), after Heigl pulled a total Izzie at the Emmys last September and scolded the announcer for mispronouncing it.

Oh look, here comes Jennifer Hudson announcing best supporting actor kudo. She's the ultimate made-by-TV star -- plucked from obscurity via "American Idol." BTW, winner Javier Bardem proves he's nothing like his "No Country" character by sweetly acknowledgling mama with a little Espanol in his remarks.

Seems like Gil Cates is making liberal use of all those best-of Oscar clip segments assembled for the worst-case-scenario telecast if the writers strike had still been going and there had been no stars at the Kodak. oscar's salute to binoculars and periscopes.

6:21 p.m.: Well, now we know. "Dancing with the Stars" gets the first house ad on the show, with ABC plugging the show's return next month.

6:23 p.m.: Stewart confirms our suspicions, intro'ing a clip package, "Oscar's salute to binoculars and periscopes" which would have been used for a four-and-a-half-hour writer-free telecast, he quips. "Thank god we didn't have to show that," Stewart sez.

6:24 p.m.: And here comes Felicity, aka Keri Russell, intro'ing a song nominee, the gospel-flavored "Raise It Up" from her pic "August Rush." She looks fabulous too.

6:28 p.m.: Presenter Owen Wilson handles the short film honors. He looks a little nervous but otherwise healthy. Good to see.

6:31 p.m.: Jerry Seinfeld in his "Bee Movie" guise handles the animated short film honors. Sorry to typecast, Jerry, but even in CG animation -- you hear that voice, you think of that apartment set and look around for Kramer, George and Elaine to come barging in.

6:34 p.m.: These vintage Oscar clip package are proving my point about the TV-wattage of the Oscars these days. In these older clips it would seem as if TV stars (other than Johnny Carson) weren't even allowed in the auditorium.

6:38 p.m.: Tilda Swinton wins supporting actress for "Michael Clayton." I was pushing for Amy Ryan of "Gone Baby Gone," and not just to gather for further evidence for my TV star theory. Swinton gives Endeavor's Brian Swardstrom the first on-air mention of an agent of the night, noting that Oscar's physique looks just like his, including the rear end.

6:42 p.m.: Interesting ad trend we're seeing. Diet Coke just ran a spot urging people to run to the web to enter a contest to win the red dress that Heidi Klum wore on the red carpet. Earlier, Dove ran a spot feature thesp Amy Brenneman asking viewers to vote on one of two non-pro created commercial spots for one of their new products. I know this isn't a brand-new thing just for tonight, but it's interesting nonetheless.

6:44 p.m.: Jessica Alba intro's the sci-tech awards. She's intro'd as the "always fantastic" Jessica Alba, but she was merely a good-looking gal from Pomona, Calif., before James Cameron made her a star on the Fox sci-fi skein "Dark Angel." Need we say more? Yes, as soon as we get more.

6:49 p.m.: Not a trace of writer-strike, writer-solidarity, writers-rock messages during the presentation of adapted screenplay honors. Winners Joel and Ethan Coen, for "No Country for Old Men," looked a bit bemused. I guess they're a bit weary from the circuit. But it might not be the last time they come up on stage tonight so maybe they're holding back something for the rest of the picture.

6:51 p.m.: Here's a segment on How the Oscar Winners are Determined, with your host Sid Ganis. Boy, these guys really did prepare for every possible contingency. Stewart's demeanor sez as much when the clip is over. "Wow, that was amazing," he said, very nearly rolling his eyes. "I always thought it was superdelegates."

6:52 p.m.: Now here comes the queen of kidvid, Miley Cyrus, intro'ing nommed song "That's How You Know," from "Enchanted." And who's singing it? Kristin Chenoweth, who admittedly made her name on Broadway but for the past few years has been kept busy on the small screen, at the moment on ABC's "Pushing Daisies."

7:00 p.m.: "Oprah's Big Give" gets the top of the hour promo plug. No surprise.

7:02: Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill doing a riff on which one of them is more like Halle Berry and which is like Judi Dench (which frankly seems like it could've run on last night's "Saturday Night Live"). Rogen's hot as can be as a comedy pic star of the Judd Apatow school...but where'd he get his laffer street cred? A little NBC dramedy called "Freaks and Geeks."

7:13 p.m.: Marion Cotillard wins for best actress -- the true dark filly in the category. Cate Blanchett's gape-mouth reaction, one of genuine and gracious excitement for another person's good fortune, is why you watch these things. Cotillard's remarks were totally from the heart, and when these things are delivered with a French accent from a teary-eyed beauty, us Yankees turn to mush. "You rocked my life," Cotillard informed the director of her Edith Piaf biopic "La Vie en Rose." "It is true, there are some angels in this city." Sure to be on clip reels for years to come.

7:18: Colin Farrell tells us he's "chuffed" to intro the singers of the nommed song "Falling Slowly" from "Once." We certainly get what he means but would love it if someone could provide a precise definition -- I'm already dying to use it in a sentence. BTW, what a beautiful song and perf by "Once" stars Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova -- I gotta see this movie.

7:22 p.m.: Jack Nicholson is at the podium declaring "I love the movies" as he intro's the clip package detailing the past 79 years of best pic winners. Guessing this one would've gone longer, way long, in other circumstances. Jack seemed to supress a laugh when he read the line "Movies are a common link that touches the humanity in all of us." I'm guessing he was thinking about all the humanity he's touched in other ways -- golf clubs, etc.

7:29 p.m.: "Bourne Ultimatum" wins for editing, duh. Christopher Rouse mentions that his dad won one nearly 50 years ago, nice touch. "Someone just took the lead in their Oscar pool, based on a guess," Stewart quips as he reclaims the spotlight.

7:31 p.m.: Nicole Kidman comes out to prove that she looks better pregnant than any other woman on the planet (and there was quite a pregnancy sweepstakes going on tonight with Cate Blanchett, Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie also in the family way) -- with the possible exception of Katherine Heigl. It's time for the honorary Oscar tribute to production designer Robert Boyle. Goodness knows, he's done some good ones, for "Hitch" (who he credited with introducing him to his wife, screenwriter Beth Taffel), Norman Jewison, Don Siegel, et al. "I have had the good fortune to be a part of this, and I thank you all for being there for me." Very classy.

7:43 p.m.: Austria bags the foreign language pic award for "The Counterfeiters." Penelope Cruz intro's the category, looking gorgeous but a little mermaid-ish in her black frock.

7:45 p.m.: McDreamy (aka Patrick Dempsey) intro's the last nommed song, "So Close," from "Enchanted." And we have another dance number, a recreation of the ball scene from "Enchanted." So far, so good, nothing too nutso. It probably helps that I really enjoyed that movie.

7:50 p.m.: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova win for best song. "What are we doing here, this is mad," Hansard sez. "We made this movie for 100 grand." Loved the way he said kept saying "ting" and closed with "Make art, make art." I really gotta see this movie. A finger-wag to telecast producers for playing Marketa off before she could say a word.

7:57 p.m.: How cool! Jon Stewart (and Gil Cates) amend the error by bringing Marketa back out on stage for her due. Nobody sounds as passionate as the Irish (whoops, I now realize she's from Czech Republic). She dedicated her win to all the other independent musicans out there who spend most of their time struggling. And "no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. The song was written from a perspective of hope...Hope at end of the day connects us no matter how different we are." This was worth her getting an encore.

7:54 p.m.: ABC's "A Raisin in the Sun" telepic gets a plug.

7:59 p.m.: Cameron Diaz raises suspicions that she's never actually pronounced the word "cinematography" as she reveals the winner of the d.p. sweepstakes, Robert Elswit for "There Will Be Blood."

8:02 p.m.: Hilary Swank intro's the package paying homage to those who passed during the last 12 months. Notable applause for Jack Valenti, Deborah Kerr and, at the end, Heath Ledger.

8:07 p.m.: "Eli Stone" plug

8:11 p.m.: Tom Hanks, Hollywood's go-to good guy, intro's a satellite clip of fresh-faced servicemen and women in Baghdad to announce the winner of docu short subject. "Freeheld," about the struggles of same-sex couple, brought up two teary documentarians, Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth, who were no so overcome that they forgot to plug the upcoming Cinemax airing of their doc, and they gave a shout-out to HBO's Sheila Nevins. "Even a 38-minute movie can change minds and lives," said Roth.

8:15 p.m.: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner's "Taxi to the Dark Side" wins the feature doc award. Gibney delivers the first overtly political statement of the night in condemning the Iraq war and what it has wrought. "Let's hope we can turn this country around and move away from the dark side and back to the light," he said. Now we know why the military folks didn't intro this category.

8:21 p.m.: Another "Raisin in the Sun" plug.

8:22 p.m.: Great line from Stewart in intro'ing presenter Harrison Ford. "He's either an internationally acclaimed movie star or an auto dealership."

8:25 p.m.: Diablo Cody's charmed year with "Juno" is complete. She's probably the only Oscar winner, male or female, to ever accept her trophy with a big tattoo of a girl in a bikini visible. Which only made it that much cooler. "What is happening?" she asked, not rhetorically. She was crying, for reals, and probably thinking about all those days on the picket line when she proclaimed "This is for the writers." She thanked a list of folks, including "Juno" helmer Jason Reitman, and sweetly thanked her family "for loving me exactly the way I am." And when she walked off stage she looked like she didn't know what state she was in as she was gently turned around toward to stage left -- you can't ask for much more in an Oscar moment than that.

8:34 p.m.: Daniel Day-Lewis gets the milkshake (and lucky him, he gave George Clooney a peck on the cheek as he walked up to the stage.) "That's the closest I'll get to a knighthood," Day-Lewis quipped after genuflecting when Helen Mirren handed him his gold for lead actor for "There Will Be Blood." He seemed to be channeling his "Blood" character in observing that the award "sprang like a golden sapling out of the mad beautiful head of Paul Thomas Anderson." OK, so it sounded a bit rehearsed, but his twinkly eyes and grin, and the nod to his grandfather and father, put it over.

8:41 p.m.: Joel and Ethan Coen get the call back, with directing honors "No Country for Old Men." "I don't have a lot to add to what I said earlier. Thank you," Ethan said. Joel had a bit more in him, relating a story of how as kids they went to Minneapolis International Airport with a Super-8 and a suit to make a movie about shuttle diplomacy, "Henry Kissinger: Man on the Go." "What we do now doesn't seem that much different from what we were doing then," he said.

8:45 p.m.: Whaddya know, "No Country" claims the top prize. Doesn't seem to get much of a rise out of Ethan and Joel as they quickly turn around back stage. "No Country" producer Scott Rudin has also done this before. It's kinda hard to believe him when he calls it a "complete surprise." But he does come up with a nice way to close out the night in noting something he learned from Sydney Pollack: "With the opportunity to make movies comes the responsibility to make them good."

Amen, Shalom, Salaam to that. Good night.

Post-credits plugs: Long roundup spot for ABC's midseason slate ("Ugly Betty," "Grey's Anatomy," "Samantha Who," "Desperate Housewives," "Dancing With the Stars," "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "Boston Legal," etc. Theme is "Spring is here" and emphasis on "New episodes." And another plug for "Raisin in the Sun."

2:30 p.m. update: Oscar's charmed run with Mr. Doppler Radar continues. It's overcast and gusty but not even drizzling anymore. The Hollywood hills look Kodak-moment ready, with all the smog blown off into the Valley and points beyond. (For what it's worth, the Sunday school field trip went off just fine too.) Looking forward to having an early dinner tonight and live blogging ABC's telecast of the Big Kahuna of kudocasts. Curious to see what ABC skeins win the gold in terms of getting the most promo love from the network during the telecast. And I wonder what the over/under is on when the first reference will be made to the writers strike or the pending Screen Actors Guild contract negotiations. I'm thinking 10-15 minutes in, max.

Posted earlier:

This morning's precipitation isn't just creating angst for Team Oscar -- it's messing with my daughter's planned Sunday school field trip. So let's all appeal to the higher power of our choice and think positive, dry thoughts that the rain eases up pronto.

Rain or shine, however, the Oscars will go on (at this writing I'm not sure that's the case for the field trip) tonight, complete with a covered red carpet processional.

On Saturday, the final-final prep at the Kodak Theater included the ceremonial transport of the not-yet-inscribed statuettes, and on Friday, Oscar preshow host Regis Philbin, helmer Louis Horvitz (Regis and Lou pictured below), exec producer Gil Cates and Acad prexy Sid Ganis held a powwow with reporters to talk up the show.

How will we ever get any work done?

NBC and CBS have reached deep into their program vaults and are flooding the web with free streaming offerings of couch-potato classics, including "Star Trek" (the great 79); "Hawaii Five-0" (a personal fave); "Emergency" (Gage and DeSoto rule); "Miami Vice" (love the one where Frank Zappa guest stars); "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour" (great host); "Kojak" (great Telly); "MacGyver," "Melrose Place," "The A-Team," "Simon & Simon" and the original Lorne Greene-in-a-robe-and-toupe version of "Battlestar Galactica."

There's especially good news for fans of the Rod Serling oeuvre. CBS is offering the first two seasons of "The Twilight Zone," and NBC.com and SciFi.com are beaming out "Night Gallery." "Night  Gallery," produced by Universal TV for NBC from 1970-1973, is not as consistently mind-blowing as "Twilight Zone," but the best of the episodes, mostly the Serling-penned segs, are very, very good indeed. Steven Spielberg famously made his directorial debut on a "Night Gallery" seg starring Joan Crawford as a blind woman with a very high sense of entitlement.

Interesting that these separate initiatives from the Eye and the Peacock were announced about a week after the majors inked the new deal with the Writers Guild of America that calls for them to pay scribes 2% of the distributor's gross on web streaming of library TV shows, library being defined as anything produced after 1977 and streamed more than a year after its initial telecast.

With library product, the 2% of distrib's gross formula kicks in right away, not in year three of the WGA contract as is the case for contempo programs. So the timing of the majors' push to offer on-demand access to their libraries is a good thing for scribes, on paper. The real question is, how do you calculate  the distributor's gross for online distribution of an old "MacGyver" or "Miami Vice" seg?

In theory it will be based on whatever the license fee that the owner (aka distrib) of the program receives from the exhibitor, aka NBC.com and CBS.com. But valuation matters get even more complicated when you're talking about vintage product owned by the same conglomerate that also controls the Internet exhibition. This is the kind of stuff that will keep lawyers for the guild, the studios and top creatives fully employed during the next few years.

"Dizzying" is the only way to describe tonight's installment of "Lost." Or maybe it should be "scrambled," given that the title of the seg is "Eggtown."

This 43-odd minutes of television, written by Elizabeth Sarnoff and Greggory Nations and helmed by Stephen Williams (the Michael Curtiz of "Lost" directors) raises so many questions and drops so many clues that it might help to state the obvious about what we've learned (think we've learned?) upfront.

**Most tantalizing was the apparent confirmation that Jack and Kate are lying through their teeth in the flash-forwards about what really happened after the crash and during their time on the island. What's all this nonsense Jack's spouting in the courtroom scene about there being only eight survivors, and how he was hurt and dying in the water and that Kate saved his life? (BTW, anybody else intrigued by the last installment of the "Lost: Missing Pieces" webisodes that showed Christian Shepherd on the island, shooing Vincent the dog off to go rouse Jack from his post-crash shock-slumber because "he has work to do." Haven't been able to stop thinking about that one.)

**Naturally, this business about Kate having a son is from way-way out of left field. Very chilling at the end when she picks up the tow-headed tyke from bed and he calls her "mummy" with what sounds like an Aussie accent. Say it ain't so, Kate? She couldn't have actually snatched Aaron from Claire, could she? Either my ears are broken or Kate deliberately mumbled the last word of the episode. Did she call the kid Aaron? (The steady, noisy rain that pounded L.A. tonight didn't help the sound quality in my living room.)

**Back on the island, in what used to be the Others compound, Kate tells Sawyer she's not pregnant -- with the kind of certainty that comes only after a girl gets the incontrovertible evidence that the natural 28-day biological order for those who are NOT in the family way is proceeding. (In the cold light of the morning, a few people have pointed out the obvious that I probably dismissed too quickly: Kate IS pregnant, despite her denial to Sawyer, and the tow-headed one is his son.)

**By the age of the kid in the flash-forward, whether he's Claire's or Kate's or perhaps from still another source (immaculate conception?), it would seem that the flash-forwards are taking place about three to four years after the crash. Like right about now.

Add another feather to Showtime's cap.

The feevee channel has landed Edie Falco as the star of a half-hour single-camera comedy pilot from Lionsgate Television, as Variety's Josef Adalian reports. Falco, who has three Emmys on her mantle from her "Sopranos" run, will play a "strong-willed, iconoclastic New York City nurse juggling the frenzied grind of an urban hospital and an equally challenging personal life," per Showtime's description.

The pilot was written by Liz Brixius, Linda Wallem and Evan Dunsky. Wallem and Brixius will serve as exec producers and showrunners, with Caryn Mandabach also exec producing. Pre-production will begin pronto and the pilot will be shot in Gotham.

Showtime entertainment prexy Robert Greenblatt and Lionsgate TV chief Kevin Beggs could be forgiven for heaping on the adjectives in their statements about the deal. Falco's one of those rare thesps who could read the phone book for 22 minutes and make it compelling.

In this untitled project, Falco's character is described as a nurse who's not afraid to challenge her superiors and take matters into her own hands for the cause of saving lives. Falco noted that the bar for her next TV series was set high by her last one, but she enthused that the character and writing are "truly thrilling."

“To be bringing Edie Falco to Showtime is both a privilege and an honor,” Greenblatt gushed. “She sits firmly in the pantheon of the great actresses of our day, and to have found a show and a great role that meets her standards after six seasons of The Sopranos   is our distinct pleasure and great fortune. Bada bing is all I can think of to say!”

Beggs, who hasn't taken all of the bows he deserves for helping to bring "Mad Men" to life last year after a looooong gestation period, sez Falco's character and the show's setting will allow for "the opportunity to explore the human fallout from our broken medical system in this compelling single camera comedy for Showtime was an incredibly exciting proposition. That we will be doing so with the peerless Edie Falco as our heroine elevated the opportunity exponentially."

The most entertaining parts of FCC indecency rulings are often found in the fine print of footnotes.

Tuesday's decision upholding the $1.2 million in fines the Federal Communications Commission has levied against 45 ABC affiliate stations for a 2003 seg of "NYPD Blue" is no exception (click here to read it yourself).

The FCC works itself into a lather defending its decision regarding a roughly one-minute scene in the Feb. 25, 2003 seg "Nude Awakening" featuring a close-up and pan shot of actress Charlotte Ross' bare derriere and a more fleeting sideways shot of her breasts.

The context of the scene is the awkwardness of single parenthood, as the young son of Dennis Franz' long-suffering Det. Andy Sipowicz walks in on his paramour in the bathroom as she's about to take a shower.

Reasonable people can debate whether the dramatic moment demanded that the camera linger quite as long as it did on Ross' behind. (For the curious, clips of the scene in question are readily available on Internet vid sites.) But having a governmental body declare it "patently offensive" and "shocking and titillating," and then mete out punishment to stations that chose to air the seg is squirm-inducing for many of us on an entirely different level.

This episode of "The Wire" has just about everything, including a Shakima Greggs bedtime story, as only she could deliver:

Goodnight moon
Goodnight stars
Goodnight po-pos
Goodnight thieves
Goodnight hoppers
Goodnight hustlers
Goodnight scammers
Goodnight to everybody
Goodnight to one and all

This bit of poetry from Greggs as she sits on her windowsill late at night, trying to ease her little boy back to sleep, wraps up the eventful episode seven, "Took," penned by Richard Price and and David Simon and directed by Dominic West. It's a nice touch to end with a leisurely paced two-minute scene with Greggs (looking very un-Greggs-like) after a seg that moves the overall plot along at warp speed, for the most part.

Another morsel offered for the rabid fans is a glimpse of Richard Belzer in his Det. Munch persona from "Homicide: Life on the Streets" (the NBC drama inspired by "Wire" creator David Simon's non-fiction book about life in Baltimore). It's a fleeting moment -- Munch is parked on a stool arguing with a bartender about his tab when Clark Johnson's city editor Gus Haynes goes to an old cop-bar hangout from his days on the beat to do some reporting on some of the B.S. that his fiendishly ambitious Jimmy Olson, reporter Scott Templeton, has been feeding him about a story that has drawn complaints from readers for its veracity, or lack thereof.

Good grief, of all the plot developments in this rock 'em-sock 'em "Lost" seg, the one most affecting to this viewer was the brief scene between Sawyer and Kate when he pours his heart out to her, in his own way, appropriately enough for a Valentine's night airing.

It comes down quickly a little more than halfway through "The Economist," written by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and helmed by Jack Bender (the John Ford of "Lost" directors), when Sawyer traps Kate in Ben's old house in the Others' compound and points out to her that it has most of the trappings of civilization, like a roof and electricity. Sawyer confesses that he didn't chose Team Jack because he doesn't feel he's got anything to rush home to. And considering that she's on the run from at least one count of homicide, Sawyer presses Kate on why she's so eager to high-tail it back to the States. Kate's so mad about the situation, she can't process it all.

"How long do you think we could play house," she asks him, sitting on the edge of a bed. "Why don't we find out?" he replies, with his trademark sneer-grimace that indicates he's being as sincere as he can be. It's nice work from Evangeline Lilly and Josh Holloway.

Most chilling moment of this seg comes shortly before the Sawyer-Kate encounter when Hurley, having been found in tied up in a closet in the compound asks the arrogant interloper Miles point-blank if he and his team have come to kill the Oceanic 815 castaways.

"Not yet," Miles (pictured right) says with a creepy sidelong glance and without a pause. He doesn't come across as fearsome in this episode at all except for in this fleeting shot.

There's far too much plot movement in this seg to recount it all, so let's hit the highlights. The episode is built around a generous portion of Sayid  -- a flash-forward with him looking very handsome as he runs around Berlin with a Bond girl-ish looking woman who of course turns out to be a spy (played by Thekla Reuten).

Sayid (pictured above) is now (and again) a hit man, and so is she. He seduces her, tries to find out information about "the economist" she claims to work for; she seduces him and wings him with a bullet, he shoots back to kill, and we find out he's been working for ... Ben?!? Oh, it's all very confusing, but it's good-confusing. Naveen Andrews was good when he started "Lost" and he's only gotten better. A touch of gray in his beard really suits Sayid in the flash-forward scenes.

Mara Brock Akil is a class act.

The creator/exec producer of "Girlfriends" proved that on Thursday in statement aimed at quelling the bitter response from fans of her long-running UPN-cum-CW sitcom "Girlfriends" to the news that this past Monday's back-to-back segs of the show would mark its swan-song after eight seasons. No proper series finale, just over and out.

CW explained in a statement earlier this week asserting that the decision was partly a response to the upheaval caused by the writers strike and partly an economic decision. Online petitions are circulating, vitriol in the blog-o-sphere is rising, but instead of exploiting the fans' ire for her own aggrandizement, Akil is accentuating the positive.

The uproar over the show's abrupt ending has forced CW and "Girlfriends" studio CBS Paramount Network TV to shake loose a little coin for a retrospective clip show later this season, as Variety's Michael Schneider reports. It's the least they can do for a show that has been a workhorse for two networks since the start of this decade.

"Although it's always difficult to say goodbye, I choose to focus my energy on the history that 'Girlfriends' has made, the human stories that we told, the beautifully complex images that we projected and the blessings 172 episodes bestowed on us, both personally and professionally," Akil said in a statement issued Thursday by CBS Par.

"I am immensely thankful to the amazingly talented cast, writers, directors, staff and crew for their endless dedication and hard work for eight seasons, to the network that always wanted us and the studio that always supported us, but mostly to the audience, especially African-American women, who took the time to tune into us every Monday night at nine to have a dialogue with us and who have been our partner in this journey.  I am currently in talks with the studio and network on putting together a retrospective show which will honor and celebrate this landmark series, so please stay tuned."

The fact that Akil, who also creator and exec producer of CW's "The Game," would take the high road in this situation comes as no surprise to those who know her. From her earliest days as an assistant on Fox's "The Sinbad Show" and her staff stints in the 1990s on WB's "The Jamie Foxx Show" and UPN's "Moesha," Akil impressed all who knew her as a talented, whip-smart writer and natural-born showrunner who was destined to go far in this biz. Kinda like the characters (in varying degrees) on "Girlfriends," come to think of it.

(Pictured from left: "Girlfriends" stars Tracee Ellis Ross, guest star Erykah Badu, Persia White and Golden Brooks)

Surprised not to see a bigger pop for "Jericho" in its long-awaited return to CBS' sked, particularly after the generally glowing reviews for the new batch of adventures in war-torn Kansas.

Sophomore season preem of the drama, which was resurrected by fandemonium last spring after it was briefly canceled by the Eye, drew 7.1 million viewers and 2.6 rating/7 share in the adults 18-49 demo at 10 p.m.on Tuesday, per final Nielsens.

"Jericho" beat a fresh installment of ABC's "Boston Legal" (7.3 million, 1.8/5) in the demo but tied a repeat of NBC's "Law & Order: SVU" (8.3 million, 2.6/7). CBS pushed the show's ardent fans to spread word-of-mouth about the show and organize viewing parties. Those numbers may well bump up the Nielsen geigercounter when the 7-day DVR figures are calculated.

As others have noted, Esai Morales (pictured above) has been a great addition to the "Jericho" ensemble as the hard-ass military dude, Major Beck, who's been dispatched by the gov'n'munt to restore law and order to Dorothy-and-Toto country.

(Pictured right: Ashley Scott and Skeet Ulrich)

It's called "The Dickensian Aspect," but to me much of this seg of "The Wire" seems to explore the mystery of how life, and death, are influenced by random elements, chance encounters and moments of opportunity seized and exploited.

Mayor Tommy Carcetti (played by Aidan Gillen, pictured above) stumbles across homelessness as the Big Issue that could carry him to the governor's mansion. Det. Jimmy McNulty happens across a hard-luck homeless beggar who is unknowingly recruited to take part in the plot to squeeze more coin for police work through the concocted homeless serial killer. Scott Templeton for once actually does some real reporting, and finds the satisfaction comes with pounding the pavement.

As much as all these characters are inveterate operators and schemers, in "Dickensian Aspect," written by David Simon and Ed Burns and helmed by Seith Mann, the character portraits become that much more rich because we see them working largely on impulse, and more important, we see what impulses and instincts rise to the surface when confronted with situations they can use to their advantage.

The characters that buck this theme in the seg are dope kingpins Marlo (pictured left) and Omar (pictured right). Marlo here is playing Michael Corleone in the first hour of "Godfather II." He's carefully plotting his takeover of the five (or more) corners, putting his capos in place and laying down the law to others in the collective. (There's a great scene where Marlo, never one for sentimentality, dispenses with the murder of Proposition Joe and another dealer, appoints their successors, announces there will be no more meetings, ups the bounty on Omar's head and announces that the price of "the brick" is going up.)

Marlo's every move is plotted and protected by his muscle -- and part of the tension of course is that we know at some point there will be a slip up, some fraying in the cocoon he's spun around himself. He's either gonna get got by madman Omar or a few determined Baltimore cops who haven't forgotten that Marlo's behind the largest string of mass killings in B-more history.

Omar, on the other hand, is fueled by psycho-vengeance, a type of dope more powerful than anything offered on the corners.

Meet the latest visitors to our Isle of Mystery: "A head case, a ghostbuster, an anthropologist and a drunk."

That's how the now-dead Naomi describes the foursome now romping around "Lost" with our favorite castaways. Our complements to "Lost's" casting execs. The new additions are all compelling actors, and characters, in their own way.

Jeremy Davies is Daniel "head case" Faraday. He's good and twitchy, obviously not comfortable in the skin of a covert operative. Ken  Leung is good and arrogant as the hot-headed, exorcism- performing "ghostbuster" Miles. Rebecca Mader has the sassy-brilliant British bitch thing working for her as anthropologist Charlotte.

And Jeff Fahey looks like a guy who in the past few years took a break from his acting career to help run an orphanage in Afghanistan. No kidding. "Lost" showrunner Carlton Cuse remembered the actor from the oddball mystery-crime drama "The Marshal" that aired on ABC in 1995-96 and figured he'd be perfect for the role of the weirdo helicopter pilot Frank Lapidus (the drunk). Cuse did not expect they'd wind up tracking Fahey down in Kabul, but that's where he was.

(Interesting trivial aside: In the listings release for this seg, characters of Miles and Charlotte are not given  last names, even though they are stated as Strum and Lewis, respectively, in the seg. What's up with that?)

Before we move on to plot dissection of "Confirmed Dead," penned by Drew Goddard and Brian K. Vaughan and helmed by Stephen Williams, a shoutout is due to composer Michael Giacchino.

"Lost" wouldn't be "Lost" without his scores and the musical punctuations that he provides. Sometimes there's nothing scarier than one of his minor chords that lingers, like the sound of a twisted piece of metal creaking in the wind. And creepy as he gets on "Lost," Giacchino can turn around and give you "Ratatouille," which is as warm and Disney-classic, hum-it-out-of-the-theater as a film score could be. He's the Ennio Morricone of this generation, and he deserves the Oscar for "Ratatouille." (It is the year of the rat, after all.)

(More "Lost" fanaticism is on display at Variety's Season Pass blog from my colleagues Jon Weisman and Brian Cochrane. Click here and here to be transported.)

The cable newsers cleaned up, but Super Tuesday coverage was a snore for the broadcast webs, as Variety's chief Nielsen pollster, Rick Kissell, reports. The drama of Clinton vs. Obama and McCain vs. Romney vs. Huckabee was no match for the "American Idol" and "House."

I spent most of my time on the upper end of the dial, have to admit, though it was nice to see Tom "silver fox" Brokaw back on NBC News. I flipped around quite a bit, and for money the best news delivery mixed with insta analysis came from the MSNBC team led by Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann (pictured left).

As others have noted, CNN's John King was impressive with his mastery of the county-by-county combat in various states. And CNN gets the win for grooviest interactive graphics with the touch screen states that King and Wolf Blitzer were all over last night.

All told, a big night of news for the Democratic race translated into a win for Dem-leaning CNN, with an average of 3.64 million viewers for its primetime coverage. FNC was a close second with 3.49 million average, followed by MSNBC with 2.11 million.

Watching this seg of "The Wire" is kinda like making Jell-O pudding (regular, not instant) when you're at the the halfway point, when your wrist is starting to get tired of stirring but you can see the payoff coming as the milk thickens into chocolate mud.

Episode 5, "React Quotes," penned by David Simon and David Mills and directed by Angieszka Holland, gallops along in advancing, twisting and expanding the plot. In this sea of unsavory characters, no one is more unctious in this seg than Marlo Stanfield's defense attorney Maurice Levy, who's positively giddy at the prospect of being awash in litigation fees when he realizes that his star client is using a cell phone. "Joe gave him to us just in time," says Levy, played by Michael Kostroff (pictured right. Above, Michael Kenneth Williams as drug dealer Omar. He's baaaack.)

Marlo Stanfield opens the seg speaking cryptically to drug connection Spiros (played by Paul Ben-Victor, who was so great in "John from Cincinnati"), and he delivers a great line about the untimely end of Proposition Joe in last week's seg. "Tomorrow ain't promised to no one," sez the man who had him killed. Ice water in his veins, fer sure.

The swagger that Marlo and his muscle Chris demonstrate -- it's a gait unlike any other, wordlessly telegraphing their  menace, recklessness and their sense of utter invicibility. Seems a dangerous, but necessary, quality to have in their line of work.

Shining a light on humanity's baser instincts seems to be the theme of this seg. You can see it in city editor Gus Haynes' eyes when reporter Guiterrez tells him that the homeless murders case has suddenly become "sexual" in nature. His ears perk up. He decides to run it past "the 4 o'clock" layout meeting. Mere homeless homicides -- deep inside the book stuff. But add a sexual perversion angle and bingo! Page one. We're all guilty of it. If it bleeds it leads, etc. You never see the headline "999 Planes Landed Safely Today," do you? (I stole that analogy from Washington Post's Howard Kurtz, BTW.)

"Lost" stomped all over the competish in its return to ABC's sked on Thursday. "Eli Stone" had a harder time of it in its debut.

The 9 p.m. fourth season premiere seg drew 16.1 million viewers and 6.7 rating/16 share in the adults 18-49 demo, per Nielsen prelims. The 8 p.m. "Lost" clip show did a healthy 13.1 million 4.9/13 in the key demo.

"Lost's" premiere numbers were down from last season's opener (18.8 million, 7.7/19), but we all know last night's figures will balloon when DVR viewing sources are factored in week after next.

Kind of a mixed bag for the 10 p.m. bow of "Eli Stone." The well-reviewed drama about an idealistic lawyer who starts to realize he's a prophet had a hard time hanging on to "Lost's" coattails. It opened to 11.6 million viewers and 4.2/11 in 18-49. Not great, but not terrible either, and and it is an improvement over the perf of "Lost" companion "The Nine" last season.

CBS' Craig Ferguson was sworn in as a U.S. citizen on Friday, at the Fairplex grounds in Pomona.

(For some reason that sounds to me like a Frank Zappa song from the mid-70s -- "Sworn in in Pomona." I can just hear Napolean Murphy Brock and George Duke going at it over Frank's gnarling guitar...)

Highlights from the ceremony and Craig's quest to become a bona fide U.S. citizen during the past year will be featured on Monday's citizenship-themed seg of "The Late Late Show." Seg will also feature highlights of his recent trip to D.C. There are no more ardent Americans than newly minted Americans.