Paris to Arkansas ...

... And Nicole went, too. While it's pitched as an unscripted, Green Acres-ish big fish out of their urban water and into a little rural pond show, and it looks like princesses descend upon the paupers, we hope "The Simple Life" may well be as it's named: a view of celebrities thrust to the other side of the velvet rope, a kind of Monty Wooley thing no doubt.

On Fox, and produced by "Real World" vets, this "surreal world" stars not simply celebrity, but notoriety: Paris Hilton (Conrad's great-grand daughter and once Elizabeth Taylor's grandniece) and Nicole Ritchie (Lionel's daughter and Michael Jackson's god-daughter) -- infamous for, respectively, a sex tape (not safe for work) and a heroin bust (not safe for anyone). Those "Real World" execs have faced such issues before, but we digress.

Swagged is a plastic dressup toy ala Colorforms, where the plastic sticks by lying smooth to the plastic below it (like this, but different. Swag de-swanks cowed party girls into cow patty girls, from hotels to Holsteins.

Swag explainer: What some call the surface-to-surface adhesive-free bond; what static electricity isn't; what static electricity really is; why it's not static cling working; what is working.