Of Corset
Eventhough it's not mandatory to use our teeth to open the press kit for "Call Me, The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss," we'd be compelled to. Eventhough we think we're smarter than to be seduced into interest in a USA movie based on a true story whose newspaper narrative was racier than anything basic cable is gonna present circa 2004 A.T.N. (After The Nipple, not safe for the FCC -- chair's rant in PDF & the regs) -- wholly removing the likelihood of the true quality sleaze that would make us want to watch, yet we'd be compelled to. That it's just ribbon laced through eyelets of printed brocadey, tone-on-tone card stock shouldn't cause a slight -- eventhough involuntary-- intake of breath, yet we're compelled to.
Such is the power of iconography, of metaphor, of context-- it's a press kit whose design wouldn't change much if Fleiss had been a basketball player and those were shoelaces, not back laces, even with title's typefont treated as if channel-set with diamonds, telling us she's no cheap whore. High-priced all the way. Bling bling.
Through analysis of period writings, these two eye the darker notions of corset symbolism:
"The shape of the corset -- essentially that of the female torso -- is not an obvious phallic symbol, yet it transforms the soft and pliant torso into something hard and rigid."And text also debunks some myths:
"I have devoted so much attention to bizarre accounts of tight-lacing not because I think there existed many actual fetishists (quite the reverse), but in order to demonstrate how these letters cannot be accepted at face value (as they have been)."
Societal upheaval can be told by the concurrent unfetterring of waists. A how-to fetter, which was hip about 1600 B.C.E. Corset symbolism is used to artistic affect and commercial advantage (go figure, same guy designed this); historical photos and samples from movies abound.
Interesting enough herself, Fleiss is a retailer, author, crime victim and an opinionaire:
"-- when I got out of prison, I saw on ABC, on TV, how to meet and marry a millionaire -- and I thought, 'I went to jail for that.' I cornered the market in basically what was a boy's club -- they didn't like that -- and I paid a heavy price for it.""There's no benefit to being famous."
"... hindsight is 20/20. It was very difficult for me to file those charges. Because of my past, I knew it wasn't an even playing field, and when it was over the DA got the conviction, they gave a grand speech that they would prosecute domestic violence at all levels, for rich or poor. But that's not true. I had to fight every step of the way for them to prosecute. And at the end, everyone came out with a victory speech, including Mr. Sizemore -- he gave a speech as if he won an Academy Award -- everyone gave a speech except for me."
Fleiss also sells corsets and handmade ceramics: see her mug shots.
Mar 26, 2004 at 05:19 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
Bio-diversity Gone Mad
Sci Fi Channel double swags its Thursday night lineup including "Mad, Mad House" and "Tripping the Rift," both shows that merge diverse types together. In "House," a bushel of contestants arrive at some suitably creepy mansion to have their inner weirdnesses exposed by five judges whose outer weirdness is pronounced. Dubbed "alts" -- as in alternatives -- they sit in judgement like in the "Star Trek" original series' episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion," where the Providers bet quatloos on the actions of the Thralls -- you know the episode, we know that you do. We remember best the aluminum foily outfit (bottom row) of sorta famous guest star Angelique Pettyjohn, but we digress. Show swags collector cards, sorta.
"Rift" (genesis was a download for grownups) is a CG cartoon with PG-13 aspirations and a mix of characters rendered diversely to exaggerate the inter-species contrast as they flit about in outer space and back in time -- opening episode goes back to creation where they inadvertantly kill God. Swagged is a Colorforms-type plastic peel-off/press-down dress-up toy similar to swag here, adhering by means somewhat like this. Choices to apply rely heavily upon "Star Wars" imagery, using one thing to designate another -- metaphors be with you (a pun highly regarded here).
Mar 3, 2004 at 10:00 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
Rye Comments
It's a good thing people stuck in cubicles don't need to be, like, self-sustaining and all Biosphere-like. Yet to test the viability of such a "keep them at their desks with our heels at their necks" plan, the Vast Management Overlord Conspiracy (the VMOC, you heard it here first) under the guise of swag from Fox, seeds the workplaces of America with kits of perennial rye grass -- that Pleg calls office dirt, dig?
Why rye?
Although its soil sustaining and eroding qualities aren't likely needed on desktops, it's common for food & feed.
Nutritious cereal grains grow from true grasses which are distinguished by the vascular system of the stock. Rye itself is hearty stock, ergo: "Fewer diseases attack rye than other cereals. Ergot is the most serious disease." Heartiness is also proven by how easily the non-native naturalizes, enough to be pictured here.
But if the VMOC wants gardeners, why hire common cubicle clones (not Clone Cubicles).
The VMOC may not have built in clones' foliage foilage capacity < sotto voce >(Neither do the Overlords know how long one can take to do a job) < /sotto voce >.
Aluminum pot has a how-to, as others do too:
Place pellet inside pot. Fill pot halfway with warm water. (Since the metal pot can't be microwaved, figuring water into a mug into a microwave for 30 seconds to return to the desk, 5 minutes maybe more.) Wait 5 minutes for pellet to absorb water. (Figure 15 minutes, easy.) Using a pencil or pen, break up the top soil from the expanded pellet. (Wandering to another cublicle or two, idle co-worker chitchat, surreptitious lifting of most-convenient pen or pencil, 15 minutes -- maybe double if co-workers know you're the sort who does that.) Place seeds 1/4" deep in soil. (Covering distance to office supply storage, lingering over multi-colored paper clips and opportunistic hunting of difficult-to-find soft erasers but not finding anything to measure 1/4"... finding and asking someone older how to figure out how big a quarter-inch is, "Find something you know the length of and divide it or multiply it til you reach a quarter-inch." "Huh?" "How tall is your business card?" "2 inches, just like every other." "Right. Fold that in half, then again and again and again. That'd be a quarter-inch right?" "Ohyesofcourserightsure hmmmmmmmcouldn'thavebeenthateasy." (Figure 30 minutes, triple if you try.) Keep soil moist (10 to 20 minutes daily, double every other or third day when it really needs water.) and place in sunlight. (Ha!) Seeds will sprout in 7 to 14 days. (36+ by the time we're done thankyouverymuch with added plea how "Silent Running" shows biospheric domes maintained by robots implies that it can take an eternity, and they don't take 1-hour-and-45-minute washroom breaks.)
Lawn & liquor too: With a promise of tee shots and whiskey shots, the VMOC green thumbs its nose at cubicle clones, drafted with a cubicle-sized still and combined with a cubicle-sized combine to bring in the harvest. Also needed: a cubicle-sized yolk to turn the millstone ... which gets bread, but not roses.
Context For When You Read This Later: The grocery workers voted yesterday to end the months-long strike.
Mar 1, 2004 at 09:33 PM by James Hames in Television, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
Feel a Draft?
This post and its title subject line have nothing to do with wind or wind, but instead the breeze of political discontent wafting over the country in this election year and an opening for an outsider to enter the political arena (free registration). Could anyone be further outside the mainstream than a fictional candidate? (This notion has been broached before.)
Across the political landscape and onto basic cable comes Jack Tanner, via Robert Altman and Gary Trudeau first in '88 and resurfacing now (not NOW) on the Sundance Channel; its fact/fiction merging presaged this recent TV offering. Series is touted here as exemplary in the genre of actors playing pols. Some reviews are still pending on actors as pols, examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8 (a near-comprehensive list, but not yet including 9).
Late-Breaking Tangent: Trudeau made news today, by way of his Doonesbury comic strip.
Feb 25, 2004 at 02:17 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
We Heart Chocolate
Hallmark, known for super sweet greeting cards, swags a tin of chocolate, a heart-shaped box. If chocolate itself had a product content label, it'd show chocolate contains "theobromine, a substance similar to caffeine that affects brain function in a positive way by increasing alertness, concentration and cognitive thinking. Chocolate also contains small amounts of caffeine." Plus sugar, "which boosts serotonin levels in the brain." Cocao butter, "can boost brain endorphin levels. Optimal levels of these chemicals produce positive mood and renewed energy."
Additionally there's phenylethylamine, "a brain chemical released when we fall in love" and magnesium, "a mineral involved in manufacturing serotonin and stabilizing mood" and phenols, "natural antioxidants that may slow the formation of plaque in arteries."
Now we know there are cannabinoids, "chemical components that can mimic the effects of marijuana by triggering euphoria in the brain," which no doubt explains why after we inhale some chocolate a few minutes later we get the munchies and seek -- more chocolate.
All that chemistry still not enough to replicate the buzz of love? They swag a high end, no-spill travel coffee cup from Gordon Sinclair (search "satin wave"), not Gordon Sinclair, calling it a tumbler.
Project swagged is a Hallmark Channel movie "Just Desserts", also promoted by a contest and recipes from star chefs.
St. Valentine's Day Massacred: Despite traditions and a long history, some remain overwrought.
Feb 13, 2004 at 03:37 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
An Apprentice By Any Other Name
NBC's "The Apprentice" features Donald Trump who is so rich he's been buying up other people's 15 minutes of fame for decades. In this reality show, he invests in fame futures while 16 reality show contestants vie for a one-year $250K entry-level job -- suggesting a definition of "reality" with which we weren't previously familiar.
Network swags a bobblehead doll of an extruded resin so hard, The Likeness (unlike The Donald himself) seems immortally impervious to weather or male-pattern baldness. Time will tell. Swag plugs Trump's Marina hotel, where they'll bestow The Likeness upon any who mention the offer when booking a room.
In America, anyone can grow up to be a Bobblehead, while others compete to bobble.
Feb 6, 2004 at 10:04 AM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (3)
A Wind Shield
Knit caps have that sorta street tough, gangsta thug vibe (see "dress") FX seeks to weave into swag for "The Shield," allowing the wearer to vicariously experience the vicarlessness of the lead character, a cop who's gone outside the margins doing wrong for right's sake and his own. Considering how many cops have been portrayed on TV, the "rogue cop" is a character too common to detail but the phrase isn't recognized here, here or here.
Shows such as this cause copyright ruckus. Florida State University's criminology department's crime on film online course expounds on the genre.
One size fits all, and seven names do too. For example, here's a knit cap (but not a knit cap), and a beanie (but not a beanie), a touque (but not a touque), a toboggan (but not a toboggan), a watch cap (but not a watch cap [#4] nor a cap watch), a deer stocking cap (not a deerstalker cap nor a stalker's deer cap) ... make your own or bake your own. It's called a ski hat too.
When Tangents Collide: Beenie Man's "Real Gangsta."
Feb 5, 2004 at 11:01 AM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (3)
Undoubtedly the Prototype Program was Called a Pilot
How confident is Southwest Airlines about their customer base? Plenty. They know the risk of placing a camera to document patrons' encounters with their customer service reps; will it capture those who are swearing and swearing off the carrier? Regardless, the company allows A&E aboard to air their dirty laundry on "Airline."
Swagged is a jet-shaped key fob, a logo-embedded luggage tag and an inflatable airplane. All flew coach to Variety in a box evoking an airline meal container.
Although a staple in the diet of standup comics and their jokes (some by airline personel, and here's more), airline food appears in just a handful of film examples posted here. We are gratified to see the crew eats no better than the passengers.
Now arriving: After "Airplane," "Airport," and "Music for Airports," "Airport Shuttle, The Opera" seems inevitable.
Jan 15, 2004 at 09:07 AM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
Homemakers
"A good home must be made, not bought," (writes Joyce Maynard in "Domestic Affairs"). The 16 contestants on "House of Dreams" hope to make a good home for one of them, pitching in before they're pitched out. All are part of an ever-diminishing construction crew building the eventual winner's building, before they're scrapped, "Survivor"-like, by group vote. A&E smerges together a bunch of hand-picked average Joes (not "Average Joes"), brings them to the not-so-average town of Harmony, Fla., and brings them host George Wendt, who played the average Norm on "Cheers" and who'd likely miss these average norms (PDF file, 4th page).
Implication is of lumbering, wired studs getting into jambs, lots of off-camera nailing and venting ... pairs cementing and building foundations and facing issues of creating walls, insulation, not to mention the possibility of attacks by mortar. Floored? We're guessing they all work on the house too.
Swagged is a mailbox, of PVC and less than regulation-size at 9" long; and a heavy keyholder cast in soft alloy smerging with series' goal of winning a new mailing address and keys to the home they all helped build. Key is key to game's inserted randomness -- players draw keys to select the vulnerable castmembers, somewhat mitigating the inherent advantage of the physically gifted, interpersonally engaged, and those burdened with the woefullest yarn of tragedy and need yet blessed with the least sense of entitlement.
Title Meant: We are presuming they're pursuing the American Dream of "Homeownership for Less Than Full Price." This is only half true, the experience likely a nightmare for most contestants. Most likely the program is home to their American Dream of "Being on TV."
Afterthought: A group of people compete for prizes on television ... if they bring the public in for taping, it's a game show; if they bring the taping out in public, it's a reality show.
Jan 5, 2004 at 05:00 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
Poster Roaster
We imagine, in the WB swag design brainstorming session, when someone said, "OK, 'Surreal Life,' " and another said, "Surreal, surrealism, art, graphics, we have a graphics department..." Then: "Graphics? Let's make a poster...," and someone else said, "Why not faces of all the stars?, in that arty Andy Warhol way where the colors shift from one photocopied image to the next ... very hip, I saw his retrospective when it hit MOCA last year." A production grunt says, "Easy. Photoshop. Get me the art and I can show it to you by lunch tomorrow. How's your latte?"
We imagine such a chat, and we imagine it ended there. We imagine it didn't last long enough for some smart-ass to point out that Warhol was a Pop artist, not a Surrealist. We can't imagine anyone at WB, upon learning of the incongruousness of representing a theme with something it isn't (you might as well promote "Big Fish" with a bicycle) -- went ahead and said, "So what?"
Or maybe no one mentioned it until now. We're glad to help.
Show lumps together, ala "Big Brother," celebs whose 15 minutes expired at least a decade ago.
Dec 11, 2003 at 06:15 PM by James Hames in Television | Permalink | Comments (1)
