Hot Pink
Take an orange liqueur (Triple Sec, Grand Marnier, Cointreau), add cranberry and lime (not lime) ... with vodka it's a Cosmopolitan; ... with tequila, it's a Tequila Cosmopolitan or a Cuervopolitan or a Rude Cosmopolitan; ... with champagne it's a Cosmopolitan Champagne Cocktail (pic); ... with lemon instead of lime, it's an Evan; ... with Vermouth and orange, it's a Petit Zinc; ... with citrus-favored rum, it's an O'Cosmopolitan; ... with a DVD release and a marketing campaign, it's a Pink Panther Cosmo... the recipe of which seems to differ from the standard cocktail only by being swag.
Curiously, attached recipe doesn't specify for swagged item (Randy Raspberry Cocktail Candy raspberry-flavored cocktail sugar) to be rimmed on the glass, ala margarita salt. Product is swagified by getting Shagified: repackagifying from normal for filmic tie-in by package's original artist Shag (interviewed for some anachronistics).
MGM -- trying to bring the "Pink Panther" franchise into a modern era by linking it to the Cocktail Nation lounge craze, which is not unlike trying to link flavored sugar products to the Cosmopolitan cocktail craze -- does so on the occasion of the film's 40th anniversary, repackaged by the artist formerly know as Josh Agle who's also courted by Disneyland on swag for its Enchanted Tiki Room's 40th anniversary to be available through the Disneyland Gallery. A typography buff identifies Adventureland's Tiki type, among others. Shag has a type of Tiki type all his own, and a cocktail culture thing too.
Some swagger might've suggested a pink of a different flavor, or another still, but neither had a trendy show associated with it.
Tin, made of aluminum and about the size of a Super 8mm film can, has applied labels with pseudo-60s colors and the messages "Life is short, make it sweet" and touting the "stylish round tin and sponge we've included make the rimming of the glass simple" eventhough we weren't aware it was hard (for the record, we encountered no sponge). Label has a flavor of being very before-the-title, big-budget-Hollywood, listing a pecking order of proprietary notices: "Cocktail Candy produced for Planet Sugar, Inc. by Twang, Inc." Candy has a flavor (we take this job seriously, folks) like raspberry in the way that Tang tastes like orange juice, hence the name Twang who sells a Tex-Mex'd series of citrusy products.
For the science obsessed: If astronauts liked Tang (not Tang) why are they testing orange juice? More citrus science: as a weapon against HIV and as a weapon.
For the trivia obsessed: The Cosmopolitan cocktail made the public record (at end): "Hunter S. Thompson -- the self-proclaimed 'mad doctor of gonzo journalism' -- managed to get it cited in an affidavit used in The People of the State of Colorado v. Hunter Stockton Thompson."
For the copyright obsessed: Adventureland is not Adventureland is not Adventureland.
For the flavor obsessed: Insist on fresh lime juice and simple syrup. Rose's is fine if you're seafaring and fighting scurvy or really lazy (tip: straining saves on cleanup strain). Otherwise, it's not something we ought to be paying for, and further, for the thrift obsessed: Bottle your own (PDF) (tip: to yield more juice, microwave for 15-30 secs & let sit a minute before squeezing.)
Mar 24, 2004 at 08:00 PM by James Hames in Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
A Brush with Greatness
To remind America of the traditions surrounding non-traditional relationships in what would be Cary Grant's 100th year, Fox swags a DVD collection of the Mae West protege wherein: 1) Grant cross-dresses to circumvent U.S. immigration laws; 2) sleeps with an unwed mother and protects a man condemned to be executed; 3) he sleeps with an unwed mother who then comes to share Grant's and his wife's home; and 4) as a WWII Navy pilot on leave in Baghdad-by-the-Bay, he makes moves on another man's finacee while ignoring his duty.
To convey the suave and debonair deportment of such a character, swagged is a nameless, disposable safety razor and shaving brush of brandless origin and a cake of Conk shaving soap in a zippered pouch (ostensibly for pencils) for the guy or gal on the go or in need of that between-waxings touch up. Col. Ichabod Conk Products also sells mugs for drinking, shaving or both; a $200 razor (4th item); rubber band guns; a corn razor that "gently trims away corns and calluses;" a multi-tool that "comes with nail file, screwdriver, knife, scissors, and lighter;" and ear spoons: "Safely removes wax from ears." Their mustache wax is apparently unrelated.
Swag presumes being clean-shaven evokes Grant's glamor, but this suggests it's much more than that: "Grant's glamour is directly tied to his objectified beauty." It could have been his charm with Paris Hilton's great-grandfather or a screen kiss, as described. But it's unlikely it was his kissing off autograph seekers.
The facial hair issue marks cultural change and crosses cultural boundaries (and has prevented same, 1st item) and creates firm economic ones. Distaff preferences vary, historical trends (6th item) too.
Mar 22, 2004 at 06:58 PM by James Hames in Film, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
Noodling with Westerns
"The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" DVD release swagged by a package of Santa Maria dry spaghetti pasta, pegged on the Spaghetti Western's cult status as paean to Atkin's Diet outlaws.
Re-inventing an image of Westerns as a serious genre, Spaghetti versions specifically, genre and Clint Eastwood seriously grew a fanbase despite sloppiness in filmmaking. A fan went to the exact location of the pivotal graveyard scene; in this slow-loading applet you can almost imagine Eli Wallach running in circles. Seriously want to be a cowboy? (not the tune nor the tome), for those who take myth seriously ... very, very seriously.
Years ago, pasta maker (not a pasta maker) had troublesome expiration dates on some food products, not an issue with pasta with its 2-3 year shelflife. Company's facility won a cement award though and they offer gluten-free products for restricted diets.
Who is Al Dente and why is he eating so much?: Whether blogging pasta generally or cooking pasta ala brand specifically, one casa es su casa.
Score one for Ennio Morricone. Composer's work here cited as "This is the most fertile of all Western soundtracks ... Not even the endless corporate raping of the title theme for purposes of advertising can tarnish this work. It will remain as the standard by which all music associated with the period geography of the film will be judged." Remixed to dubious (read that as annoying) result, compilations 1 & 2 (with some audio samples; downloads here), his fat oeuvre remains available. Another medium's twist on updating a genre, called "Macaroni Westerns" in Japan from whence the movie form mutated orginally. More than a composer for Westerns, Morricone's still not Oscar-ized even after 5 noms.
Mar 16, 2004 at 01:38 PM by James Hames in Film, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
Eat Me
When Alice descended down the rabbit hole and into the looking glass of Wonderland, it came after undergoing a transforming experience of perception and reality brought about by drinking and eating things that said "Drink me" and "Eat me," consumed with a quality of faith generally unknown in real life until the cultural phenomenon of Deadheads. But now, no doubt as the result of molecular bio-chemistry, crop hybridization, micro-mechanical superchip engineering and even truth-in-packaging laws, consumers are pre-informed of the visual excursions to come. Truly, it's a leap forward in the technology of recreational hallucinogenics ... a wonderland, indeed.
This advance comes on the occasion of the DVD release of Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" and the connection between eating swagged cookies and seeing the animated classic, although probably not causal, is clearly inevitable. It's a Mrs. Beasley's Iced Scanned Cookie that conveys the data in a low-res manner, seen better here.
Story author Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll) was a photography pioneer, making portraits including Alice Liddel, a relationship referenced in song. Evidence suggests though, older sister Ina may have instead had his eye.
"Alice" caught the eye of every era's top illustrators, from Sir John Tenniel in 1856, to 1904, to 1, 2, 3 in 1907 (when British copyright expired), to 1914, to Disney's in 1951, to 1966, Salvador Dali in 1969, to 1982 (by Barry Moser, about whom there's a docu), and someday (who knows what will pop-up?), plus in 3-D CG.
Book was born of its time and this pulls the story into the 21st Century and this looks at Disneyland in the mid-20th. There's deep cultural impact from Dodgson's tome obviously; eventhough "Wonderland" is named after a street's murder scene, and "Next Stop ..." named after a dog track/train station and used as a metaphor here: 1, 2, 3, 4 (docu with Zippy creator), yet the term "wonderland" predates Carroll's use by at least 66 years.
So far, we referenced sex and drugs and for the whole Ian Drury triumvirate (not Triumvirat) -- we find rock'n'roll collides with "Alice" repeatedly. Of course this classic, but remember the hoopla about Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" synching up with "The Wizard of Oz," as if in a hand-cued LP & pre-VHS era any rock band would ... let alone could ... key an album's worth of songs' music and lyrics -- sprocket by sprocket, groove by groove -- to a film. Yet some hunt for synchronizations again and again. "Alice" is #14.
Likewise some search Disney films to see if animators have slipped a Mickey in (how?), specifically into "Alice in Wonderland."
Mar 11, 2004 at 12:12 PM by James Hames in Film, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (1)
Rye Comments
It's a good thing people stuck in cubicles don't need to be, like, self-sustaining and all Biosphere-like. Yet to test the viability of such a "keep them at their desks with our heels at their necks" plan, the Vast Management Overlord Conspiracy (the VMOC, you heard it here first) under the guise of swag from Fox, seeds the workplaces of America with kits of perennial rye grass -- that Pleg calls office dirt, dig?
Why rye?
Although its soil sustaining and eroding qualities aren't likely needed on desktops, it's common for food & feed.
Nutritious cereal grains grow from true grasses which are distinguished by the vascular system of the stock. Rye itself is hearty stock, ergo: "Fewer diseases attack rye than other cereals. Ergot is the most serious disease." Heartiness is also proven by how easily the non-native naturalizes, enough to be pictured here.
But if the VMOC wants gardeners, why hire common cubicle clones (not Clone Cubicles).
The VMOC may not have built in clones' foliage foilage capacity < sotto voce >(Neither do the Overlords know how long one can take to do a job) < /sotto voce >.
Aluminum pot has a how-to, as others do too:
Place pellet inside pot. Fill pot halfway with warm water. (Since the metal pot can't be microwaved, figuring water into a mug into a microwave for 30 seconds to return to the desk, 5 minutes maybe more.) Wait 5 minutes for pellet to absorb water. (Figure 15 minutes, easy.) Using a pencil or pen, break up the top soil from the expanded pellet. (Wandering to another cublicle or two, idle co-worker chitchat, surreptitious lifting of most-convenient pen or pencil, 15 minutes -- maybe double if co-workers know you're the sort who does that.) Place seeds 1/4" deep in soil. (Covering distance to office supply storage, lingering over multi-colored paper clips and opportunistic hunting of difficult-to-find soft erasers but not finding anything to measure 1/4"... finding and asking someone older how to figure out how big a quarter-inch is, "Find something you know the length of and divide it or multiply it til you reach a quarter-inch." "Huh?" "How tall is your business card?" "2 inches, just like every other." "Right. Fold that in half, then again and again and again. That'd be a quarter-inch right?" "Ohyesofcourserightsure hmmmmmmmcouldn'thavebeenthateasy." (Figure 30 minutes, triple if you try.) Keep soil moist (10 to 20 minutes daily, double every other or third day when it really needs water.) and place in sunlight. (Ha!) Seeds will sprout in 7 to 14 days. (36+ by the time we're done thankyouverymuch with added plea how "Silent Running" shows biospheric domes maintained by robots implies that it can take an eternity, and they don't take 1-hour-and-45-minute washroom breaks.)
Lawn & liquor too: With a promise of tee shots and whiskey shots, the VMOC green thumbs its nose at cubicle clones, drafted with a cubicle-sized still and combined with a cubicle-sized combine to bring in the harvest. Also needed: a cubicle-sized yolk to turn the millstone ... which gets bread, but not roses.
Context For When You Read This Later: The grocery workers voted yesterday to end the months-long strike.
Mar 1, 2004 at 09:33 PM by James Hames in Television, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
They Call the Wind Pariah
Once upon a time, the phrase "direct-to-video" meant the project stunk. Now it means: bypassing risks associated with expanding beyond the presold audience, and thus maximizing return on a niche, albeit avalanche, marketing campaign. But Disney still wants you to know "Lion King 1½" stinks. Sorta.
For this Lion King sequel -- dubbed "1½" because the studio already went Number 2 -- swagged is Gas-X based on the plot point of Pumbaa, the warthog character, and his heinie halitosis and the profound effect he, it and meerkat pal Timon have upon the storyline in "LK1." So we guess this is "Lion King: The Backfill."
Missing parent in animated Disney phlik phenomenon alert (referenced here): Despite that being a major plot crutch in "LK1," here also Timon lives with mom and uncle.
"One of Those Things Where, in Yourself It's an Interest, Sometimes a Stunt, Maybe a Curiosity, But in Someone Else it's Obviously a Sickness" Dept: Exhibit A (not safe for parents), B, C and D, and so forth. Frankly, Ben was not always gentle either.
Beyond the beans around the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles to the Japanese "boy in the bathtub" commercial Johnny Carson replayed regularly, farts are not just a passing fancy. Over 140 years ago, Joseph Pujol performed as Le Petomaine, the Fartiste. Still today, flatus permeates the social fabric: in science, in medicine (info with tips), in film, in books, in jokes told & smelt & heard, in costume (and why a patent? clones), in home videos, underwater, in entrepreneurship, post 9/11 airline safety, in apocryphal urban legends and folktales retold in advertising (the service) propelling two to trumpet their farticipation:
"It only took three hours to shoot the ad, but Soustrom is hoping the unprecedented publicity will help launch her career into a sitcom or romantic comedy. Grant Pace, creator of the ad, hopes it will launch his career as well. This is his first effort as president of his own agency, Mercury Advertising. Pace was inspired by an event that happened to his sister several years ago."
We are glad this never caught on.
Feb 11, 2004 at 04:40 PM by James Hames in Film, Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (0)
Put a Clock In It
Columbia and TriStar want you to buy and rent DVDs, now that screeners are going the way of dot.coms. By adding the corporate IDs to this clock swag, the Columbia Lady (whom we always thought looked like Ida Lupino or maybe Emma Samms) and Pegasus, we have been given an excellent idea for what to do with all those bajillion AOL free minutes trial offer CDs that inundate our mailbox. (Some folks don't like those things.)
Pun Time: Looking for clock-related moonlighting (not "Moonlighting" ) opportunities? A show of hands anyone? Here's advice.
Dec 2, 2003 at 09:39 AM by James Hames in Video and DVD | Permalink | Comments (1)
