The Porning Report

The Surreal Life of The Hedgehog

Porn vet Ron Jeremy has quietly made history in recent months. In addition to being the first porn star to be the subject of theatrically released mainstream documentary film ("Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy"), Jeremy is the first recognizable porn star to ever be cast as a regular in a network TV show. The star of this season's reality show "Surreal Life" has been cavorting on television screens across America alongside fellow cult celebs "Chips" star Erik Estrada, former televangelist Tammy Faye Messner, former "Baywatch" hottie Traci Bingham, rapper Vanilla Ice, and "Real World" alum Trishelle Canatella.

For The WB, it's a risky but so-far well-received stroke of casting brilliance. Who better to play opposite to convicted evangelist Jim Baker's former wife, Tammy Faye, than a portly, aging male porn star? For Jeremy, it is the chance of a lifetime. More so than any adult star besides maybe Jenna Jameson (and even she hasn't been in anywhere near as many mainstream films as Jeremy), Jeremy is universally accepted. He still has sex with women in front of the camera, but he has now officially moved into the pantheon of mainstream celebrity. He is now a TV star, a movie star and has even appeared on several music CDs. Not to bad for a guy nicknamed "The Hedgehog."

"It's an amazing opportunity," Jeremy told The Porning Report a few weeks ago at the Adult Entertainment Expo, while signing autographs for dozens of fans lined up in front of his booth. "Who would have thought a guy like me would get these kind of breaks?"

"No doubt there's a shock value to it," Jeremy mused to AdAge.com as to why he was cast. "What's the biggest contrast you can get to a Bible-carrying evangelist? A porn star."

Jeremy has said that he and Messner get along quite well, as is evident on the show. And the mutal admiration is not one-sided.

"He's so kind, he is talented, he is very, very intelligent, and he was a schoolteacher," gushed Messner on the show's Website. "All that does not equal porn star."

Er... apparently it does, ma'am.

The January 11 premier drew 5.3 million viewers, making it the highest-rated show ever in that time period in The WB's 10-year history. These are bigger numbers than every porn movie Jeremy has ever made put together. It's all good news for the unlikely torchbearer.

Cleaning Up The Penthouse Forum

Rappers and rock stars hosting porno movies, the rise in popularity of raw, extreme gonzo where the performers acknowledge the camera and there is no plot, T&A-filled mens magazines, and all sorts of TV and films with porn-themes. One might assume that as this allhappens, skin magazines like Playboy and the already-quite-explicit Penthouse, whose days of soft filter pinups is already long gone, would have to rise to the challenge and up the ante of their content, likewise getting more sexually intense and uninhibited, right? Actually, quite the opposite is happening.

This week, the New York Post reports that Penthouse, which went bankrupt after going hardcore in the '90s, is getting a $50 million makeover to re-launch this fall. Part of the makeover includes cleaning it up, nixing its XXX-rated pictorials in favor of "more tasteful and sensual layouts reminiscent of its heyday in the 1980s." In essence, they wanna grab that burgeoning Maxim crowd, and distance itself from the porn world.

"The new Penthouse is softer, so we can win back readers and appeal to an even broader audience," Marc Bell, the head of an investment group that has committed $85 million or so to revive the mag, told the Post.

Clearly, they believe sexual moderation, is the key to making money again, and one way they can be assured of generating some dough is to re-up their circulation. You see, after their explicit shift in the '90s, the Pentagon banned Penthouse from being stocked on military bases. This, in addition to also being taken off the stands in many "mass-market outlets" as well, caused circulation to drop dramatically from 3 million to just 300,000 copies. Yikes! Clearly investors hope that with a cleaned-up image, Penthouse might stand a chance of returning to newsstands.

It's an amazing thing, really. Though it was one of the magazines that pushed the boundries for porn in print, it's now decided to pull back the reins and reign in the sex. Goodbye money shot, hello merkin. So yes, Penthouse will return to its tamer roots this fall... but it will still likely be the target of many conservative groups who fail to see the distinction between a naked girl on all fours and naked girl on all four engaged in a sex act.

FYI, despite new management, 71-year-old founder Bob Guccione will remain the publisher and "driving creative force" for the fleshy tome. We'll have to wait and see just how graphic the other driving forces in the magazine are come this fall.

The Screenwriter Next Door To The Girl Next Door

Last week, I mentioned that "24" star Elisha Cuthbert is portraying a porn star in the upcoming movie "The Girl Next Door", a movie from Regency to be released via 20th Century Fox on March 12. The flick tells the tale of a high school senior, Emile Hirsch ("Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys"), who falls in love with the girl next door only to discover that she's a former porn star still trying to get out of the game.

One porn journalist and adult screenwriter, Gene Ross of AdultFYI.com, is up in arms about the film, claiming that 20th Century Fox "ripped off" the idea from a script he wrote.

The twist is that the original idea allegedly came in the form of an actual porn movie with the exact same title. If true, this means that a big, mainstream monolith movie studio might have swiped their idea from a small-scale porno movie. Now, if that doesn't show how porn is seeping its way into pop culture, I don't know what does -- movies have certainly been made based on everything from paintings to theme park rides, but porn's a first.

Video Team's "The Girl Next Door" (NSFW) starred Lexus Locklear and was directed by Mitch Spinelli in 1994. It was penned by Ross himself. The plots are nearly identical, he says, and Cuthbert even shares a resemblence with Locklear (who has since retired from the biz) -- though it's not surprising that both might be mistaken for porn stars, considering that's how they're cast.

"It's the same title," Ross told me via email this afternoon. "It's about the same identical subject matter. They can argue coincidence, but it can also be argued that it's more than that. Mainstream has attacked porn in the courts for ripping off ideas. Maybe it's their turn to squirm."

Regency had no comment on the situation.

What's next? A "Debbie Does Dallas" remake starring Charlize Theron? Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon in "The Devil in Miss Jones"? The real twist will come when mainstream rips off a porn-parody of a mainstream movie. Coming soon to a theater near you -- Ashton Kutcher in "Edward Penishands"!

Lad Mag Face Off

Two rival U.K. publishing companies are about to enter a fight to the death over the current desires of young men! No, it's not the plot for a new reality TV show.

According to Independent.co.uk, two of Britain's largest publishing houses, IPC and Emap, are betting that they know the secret to what makes young men tick, and they are putting their money where their mouth is by simultaneously launching rival men's magazines with opposing points of view.

IPC believes the modern young man is "picked on" by advertisers and embarrassed by overt female nudity. It's spending £8 million setting up what they are calling its "biggest ever launch." Their magazine title? Ironically, Nuts.

Nuts is based on a two-year IPC research exercise called Project Tribal that indicated that many men are no longer comfortable with the brash lifestyle mags aimed at them that are "Loaded" with T&A and raunch. The portrayal of men as "objects of suspicion" is a thing of the past, they say.

Meanwhile, Emap thinks men are obsessed with sex, football and bawdy jokes. It has also coughed up £8 million for Zoo Weekly, calling it "the largest ever launch into the U.K. men's market." Zoo Weekly is being described as "not a lad's magazine, it's a men's magazine."

"There will be good writing, considered features, pretty girls and football," said editor Paul Merrill.

Pretty girls and football. Um… Any guesses about who is going to win this race?

Cullman, Alabama Ain't Playin'

One place where pornography is NOT being accepted by mainstream is good ol' Cullman, Alabama. According to the Associated Press, bookstore Books-A-Million Inc. removed copies of and Playboy and Playgirl magazines from its racks after a local prosecutor warned they violated Alabama's strict anti-obscenity law.

Cullman is a small (about 14,000), conservative town with a ban on alcohol sales, a beer-free Oktoberfest (um…what?!?!) two monasteries, and the Ave Maria Grotto, a miniature replica of Christian sites made by a monk. Hollywood, this ain't!

"We must continue to work to insure the community standard and values of morals and decency that have been established here are not compromised," District Attorney Len Brooks told AP. "We must continue to work to insure the community standard and values of morals and decency that have been established here are not compromised."

Brooks has since noted that he received a letter from Books-A-Million President Sandra B. Cochran stating that the placement of the magazines in the Cullman store was a mistake and the mags have been removed. This will likely keep the store out of any further legal trouble.

But one has to wonder: How exactly does a book store in a small, conservative town that places very specific orders for specific titles end up getting sent two porn magazines by mistake. Hey, things happen, right? Maybe they just got the wrong box by mistake. Fair enough. Even more dumbfounding, though, is how they ended up on the racks for sale. Anyone who worked at the store must have known those weren't regular items for display or sale. They also must know what a conservative town Cullman is and that word would spread quick that such racy periodicals were available. I wonder if business is up or down in the wake of the publicity...

One way or another, porn does seem to fly off the shelves....

'Girl Next Door' Depends on Where You Live

She's not a porn star, but she acts like one.

Actress Elisha Cuthbert (Fox's "24") is portraying a professional adult entertainment actress (that is, porn star) in the upcoming movie "The Girl Next Door" set to be released via 20th Century Fox on March 12. The flick stars Emile Hirsch ("Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys") as a high school senior who falls in love with the girl next door only to discover that she's a former star of raunchy movies. It turns out she has one film left in her contract and is trying to figure out if she can get out of it or whether she has to go back to the biz of being on her back.

The twist is that the film also stars a gaggle of real life porn stars such as Steven St. Croix and Angel Cassidy, and features scenes shot at AVN Adult Entertainment Expo convention. In fact, in the film's trailer, she appears next to an Adam & Eve booth. The Wicked and Vivid Girls also shot scenes for the film. For some reason, the real life porn cast does not appear in the official credits yet.

The irony here is that 20th Century Fox is billing the movie as a "teen romantic comedy," and that the screenplay reportedly has an upbeat, positive view of the adult industry. Teen romantic comedy? Since when are movie teens supposed to be watching porno movies and having crushes on porn stars? You know, like they do in real life?

Catch of the Day

As if the porn-rap connection wasn't already strong as a set of gold fronts with everyone from 50 Cent to Lil Jon signing up to host a gonzo skin flick, now a magazine called Fish 'N' Grits has launched to specifically tap into this burgeoning market.

The mag -- which describes itself as "where music meets porn" -- features rappers alongside black and Latino porn stars graphically discussing their fetishes and wackiest sexual experiences. Wu Tang Clan MC and actor on the rise Method Man ("My Baby Daddy") appear on the cover of the debut issue, and the issue also features producer Kanye West, upcoming porn auteur Lil Jon and his Eastsideboyz, Neptunes prodigies The Clipse, Southern rapper Bone Crusher, ultra-pimp Too Short and the founders of hip hop appeal titans FUBU. Future issues will pair up Lil' Kim with Lexington Steal, and feature everyone from Redman and Naughty By Nature's Treach (who both appeared in the X-Rated "Sex In The Studio"), Snoop Dogg (who has two porno movies out through Hustler), Mystikal (who released a Hustler porn and just got six years in prison for forcing his hairstylist to perform sexual acts on him), strip club enthusiasts OutKast and many others.

The December issue is on stands now.

As the Bunny Turns

Last month, Playboy magazine turned 50 and to celebrate, founder Hugh Hefner sold off half a century's worth of Playboy memorabilia at Christie's auction house . Among the items were nude pictures of Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, and other supermodels and actresses; original manuscripts by writers like Jack Kerouac; interviews with Vladimir Nabokov, Ayn Rand, and Orson Welles; letters from William Saroyan, Isaac Asimov and Ray Bradbury; Hef's little black address books with phone numbers of the rich and famous; his old Mercedes; and two invitations to the New Year's Eve party at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Wow!

Needless to say, the items went for a pretty penny. Hefner has built an amazing, if graying, empire out of a pen, paper, the written word and a vast array of breasts. He presides over Playboy Enterprises -- whose chief executive is Hefner's daughter, Christie -- which has become a multimedia company, with TV channels in many countries and a great global brand: the black bunny head.

Clearly Hef gets the big picture. He understands branding, marketing and promotion like no other in the skin trade. However, the big picture in 2004 ain't the airbrushed glossy it was a decade or so ago. Playboy Enterprises just rode out several bad years of being in the red. First off, if you want to see hot babes and plenty of skin, there are enough quare inches of skin in non-porn men's magazines like Maxim and Stuff for you to get your flesh fix without having to even surf the free smut available online.

And despite the bankruptcy of Playboy's chief rival Penthouse, similar minded yet harder-core magazines are popping up left and right as the porn industry blossoms. As it does so, the demand for the next big things keeps getting more extreme. Now, in hard-core porn, it's not good enough to simply have sex with more than two people. You have to be like porn queen Belladonna and use a baseball bat, too.

Is the good-natured-grandfather Playboy willing to compete with the new breed of pornographers? Is Hefner willing to roll in the mud with the more-willing-change-with-the-times Larry Flynts or the extreme-by-anyone's-standards Max Hardcores of the world? Or will the Bunny lovin' legend finally roll over and let the younger, sicker, less classy kids take over? Playboy is "quietly" developing more perverse offerings with SpiceTV and its Internet operations. But it remains to be seen if it can continue to grow in that direction and still be the company that sponsors a jazz festival each year.

The Friendly Skies Just Got Friendlier

In a bold move forward in the influx of porn into mainstream, Euro porn purveyor Private Media Group Inc. announced it has struck a novel deal with Nuance Group to set up a retail shop in the Vienna airport, with further airport locations set to pop up throughout 2004.

The Barcelona-based Private's planned Vienna International Airport shop marks the first step towards a new branch of DVD distribution for both them and the entire industry: travel retail outlets. Striking a deal with the world's premier travel retail operator, the Nuance Group, to sell their discretely wrapped DVDs in the airport is a major coup, though one other such shop does already exist. Amsterdam's Schiphol airport has a porn DVD shop on its premises (there was also discussion of opening a brothel at Schiphol, but that never came about). The big difference is that the Schiphol store is not owned by a production company with a vested interest in the success and international proliferation of such depot.

The Vienna airport had a total of 12 million passengers passing through its white and yellow lines in 2002. For comparison, that private porn parlor in Amsterdam's airport generates over 1.5 million EUR annually with about 40 million passangers. With 3.2 billion potentially bored, lonely air travelers being handled annually by airports worldwide, there's real potential here, and not just for embarrassment in the lounge areas.

The Vienna store will be followed by other European locations in spring 2004. Private is also presently in discussions with other major players in the travel retail business in order to develop this opportunity on a worldwide basis. In other words, the U.S. may be next, and there may soon be an additional instruction or to in the pre-flight announcements about courteous use of laptops.

Playboy Gets 'Buckwild'; P. Diddy Reveals 'H.Y.P.E.'

Host Ken "Buckwild" Francis

Last Friday, Playboy TV launched a new hip-hop themed show called "Buckwild" that features interviews with popular hip-hop artists as they go to strip clubs, shop for lingerie, or participate in their favorite extreme sports, reported AllHipHop.com.

Hip-hop luminaries such as OutKast, Snoop Dog, Busta Rhymes, Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys, the Ying Yang Twins, and Naughty by Nature will appear alongside Playmates and bunnies, uncensored music videos, and humorous sexual segments such as "Sex Tip of the Day," "That's Ass" and "Eye Candy."

Playboy Entertainment Group, Inc. president Jim English said in a statement that the union between Playboy and hip hop was a logical decision.

"Today's hip-hop culture is based on the same principals that Hugh Hefner originally introduced to this country 50 years ago," English said. "'Buckwild' is our first foray into a culture it only makes sense for us embrace."

This isn't the first hip-hop themed project that Playboy TV has announced in recent months. The network also revealed an upcoming partnership with Sean "P.Diddy" Combs dubbed "H.Y.P.E. TV." (Hot Young People's Entertainment Television) that will attempt rival music television networks to MTV, BET and Fuse. An "adult"-themed hip hop network called 1AM, which will be backed by Universal Music Group and Eminem's Slim Shady Records, was announced last week, too; it will feature "uncut videos, live concerts and complete song lyrics."

It's one thing when an MC lends his name to a porn movie ("Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle," "Ice T's Pimpin' 101," etc.) that can only be found behind the dirty brown curtain of the "no one under 18 allowed" adult section of a video store, but an entirely deeper, more steadfast commitment to pornography when you cavort with naked girls on a cable television show for "hot young people" and/or start your own uninhibited network.

If hip hop has taken over for rock as the music of the young people (hint: it has), and the biggest and most commercial names in hip hop are advocates of pornography (For example, did you see Big Boi from Outkast show off his strippers pole and strippers room on "MTV Cribs"? Here's a guy, married with kids, who clearly doesn't give a damn if the world knows he digs nekkid ladies!) then it's really going to get interesting when these youths start becoming the attorneys, police, politicians, entrepreneurs and performers that regulate and comprise the industry. In the mean time, let's just say it's nice to have so many channels to choose from.