Boob-Gate Fallout

As the fallout of Janet Jackson's Super Bowl half time breast baring begins to settle, let's assess the situation.

It is silly that a breast with a big ol' silver nipple ring covering up the areola is even thought to be shocking in this MTV era where boobs are used to sell everything from hip hop to shampoo to makeup? Yes, yes it is.

Is it just plain ridiculous that the Grammy Awards folks put so much negative pressure on Ms. Jackson over the event that she was forced to cancel out on her appearances as presenter? I guess her "sorry" wasn't good enough. Do you think they made Snoop say "sorry" for all the women he's pimped before he was allowed to present an award with Jason Alexander? Do you think they would not have not let 50 Cent accept an award (had he won one) because he used to peddle crack? Nope. Jackson is definitely getting the pointy end of the fairness stick here, even if her stunt was crude and displayed bad judgment.

But worse than all of the hypocrisy is the opportunism. The opportunism of the media in exploiting the image is expected and, quite frankly, predictable. We know they will sink to any low to get ratings. But it's the opportunism of one Tennessee bank worker Terri Carlin that truly takes the cake. This yahoo filed a class action lawsuit for a what could amount to billions in compensation for herself and the millions of viewers she feels were "injured" by Jackson's lewd behavior.

Carlin filed a proposed class-action lawsuit in federal court in Knoxville, Tenn., against Jackson, Justin Timberlake, broadcasters MTV and CBS and their parent company, Viacom, last week and is seeking financial rewards for her damages when she witnessed (on TV, mind you) Timberlake rip off part of Jackson's costume, exposing her breast. The suit fails to specify what injuries Carlin suffered, saying only that: "As a direct and proximate result of the broadcast of the acts, [Carlin] and millions of others saw the acts and were caused to suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury."

This one takes the cake, folks. This is right up there with the Twinkie defense as the most ridiculous case in the history of mankind. So I can just sue the makers of crappy TV shows for offending me and millions others with good taste? Can I sue the makers of "America's Funniest Home Videos" for offending me by humiliating contestants for laughs? Can I sue "The Simple Life" because watching Paris Hilton makes me think of that pirated porn she starred in, which makes me have evil, sexual thoughts?

Though she withdrew the suit yesterday, opting instead to see if broadcasters and regulators can clean up television themselves (don't hold your breath, honey!), I think Ms. Carlin could stand to listen to the words of Mr. George Carlin, a freedom fighter of a different sort. He once told me, when discussing censorship in music, that "There are people who don't like that kind of language, and they should be told there's an on and an off switch, and you have another button there that changes the radio station, changes the TV station. Records are not being forced into your hands, you don't have to go buy them; leave them alone."

Yes, Ms Carlin. Leave us alone.