Royale flush

 

There’s a new restaurant, Royale, inside the refurbished Wilshire Royale. A helluva job they did on the old hotel, just two blocks from the sketch-fest that is Macarthur Park. (Valet parking is free.)

Very 1920s supper club, which was the intent. The space, as others have noted, is gorgeous, with soaring white-tiled arches and windows lined with heavy brown velvet curtains (lest you should notice that you are dining at the corner of Wilshire and Rampart). I have to wonder what the place will sound like when it’s busy because we were only one of two parties in the restaurant.

The food? For now, it's OK, but they’re still doing the "soft" open. That means there’s still time to get rid of the kinks (too-salty salt-and-pepper shrimp; too much lime juice in the crudo). The familiar menu also includes tuna tartare, macaroni and cheese, crabcakes and flattened chicken. (All come with a side of deja vu.) Thumbs up for including Alma Rosa Chardonnay on the wine list.

However, the evening’s star didn’t make itself known until after dessert.

One of my dining companions returned to the table. "I now look in this restaurant in a whole new light," he said. "You have to see the toilet."

So I saw. And it’s no mere toilet. It’s a Toto Neorest 600.

 

Allow me to quote from the manufacturer’s literature (really, I couldn’t do it justice):

* The lid automatically opens as you approach, then closes and automatically flushes as you walk away.

* The seat warms using variable temperature settings which can be set from the wireless remote.

* The revolutionary, multi-sequencial CycloneSiphon jet flushing system delivers higher levels of performance than anything you have ever experienced. (emphasis mine)

* The manual override function… it’s discreet, yet easily accessible.

* Washlet with three modes – front, rear and soft – with warm, aerated water

* Wireless LCD panel – control of the extraordinary functions at your fingertips

* Warm air dryer and built-in air purifying system

In short, it’s a toilet that does everything in its power to convince that you are not, in fact, using the toilet.

The price for all this modesty? The MSRP is just under $6,000, which may explain why Royale has a one-toilet, unisex washroom… something that could become unfortunate if/when the cavernous restaurant approaches anything like its 100-plus capacity.

Other points of confusion: The website's front page claims Royale opens for lunch at 11 a.m., but the restaurant’s voicemail (which, as of 6:30 last night, was still picking up) says it’s dinner only, starting at 5:30 p.m. The lounge is supposed to stay open until 2 a.m., but I’d double-check that until business becomes more lively.

The website also offers an essay by restaurant owner Anthony Jones that says, among other things: "The intent of the menu at Royale is to offer an experience that celebrates the modern human condition" and "Royale, then, is a postmodern essay on luxury."

Once again, the manufacturer has left me speechless.

Comments

[Jennifer]

looks verrrryyy purty, but if you say food is "OK" - i think i'll pass. i had dinner at the sunset tower place (bugsy siegel's old apartment) at the argyle hotel last night & the loup de mer was delish. bottle of kistler chard wadn't so bad neither.