Public Service Announcement: My Darling Clementine

This is a picture* of a mandarin orange, otherwise known as a clementine. It has no other association with this post besides the obvious name connection. That is because I have a new job at Variety and it's Friday, leaving me too tired to find more relevant art. Enjoy.
*Art courtesy the fine London food blog Jamfaced.

Ending CAA week on a high note: Clementine is in the neighborhood. And it rocks, as long as you don't intend to stay.

This is what you can expect to find: Excellent tuna and chicken salads. Warm brisket sandwich came with horseradish creme fraiche and real au jus (too many places serve brown salty water). I love the cauliflower salad with anchovy dressing (that may be just me); they also have roasted beets, soba noodles, Chinese broccoli with shiitakes, etc. Real soup. It's the city's best picnic resource, with solid, sensible takeout containers that are big enough to contain a full portion (I hate it when containers are chintzy), stack and don't leak.

Clementine is also a closet.

It demands you stand in line to order and take a number to your table, presuming you can find one; at lunchtime, you can expect to bump into people from the moment you walk in the door.

And then there's parking. Clementine's dozen spaces behind the restaurant fill quickly. That leaves you to your own devices in a residential neighborhood.

However, those nice folks at Clementine have a solution: Curbside service.

(The only other LA restaurant I know that offers this is Langer's. It makes the World's Finest Pastrami Sandwich And Yes, That Includes New York. There, parking isn't the problem so much as a location across the street from the pond in MacArthur Park, the one where people like to throw guns instead of pennies.)

At Clementine, here's how it works: Look at the menu online. Everything's there, including specials. There's a form you can print out and fax, but I wouldn't bother unless you're ordering for a whole boardroom. (In which case, they deliver.) Otherwise, call and make your order; they won't ask for a credit card, just a first name.

Drive to Clementine: Left on SMB, stay to the right and look for the first turn that allows access to Club View, Ensley, Warnall, et. al. Clementine is on the corner of SMB and Ensley, but don't turn right until you pass Ensley and see the aforementioned parking lot. There's a valet stand in the back, designed for the sole purpose of helping you. (Aww!)

Give name; receive food. Give credit card; sign with stylus. (I love portable credit  card readers; every waiter in Europe has one, even though they can cost $800.)

Elapsed time: Two minutes.

The return trip is a bit of a pain, what with all the one-way streets and the don't-turn-heres, but so is Century City.

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