Remember that gas explosion at CAA last week? An agency insider tells me, "Toby the chef has no more facial hair."
The explosion, as Radar pointed out, was in the first-floor kitchen. However, this one has nothing to do with what most of us understand as an office kitchen with its greasy toaster ovens and the manila-colored refrigerator with the door handle that keeps falling off. This one is a Kitchen, designed to fulfill the culinary whims and biddings of an entire agency. (Or in this case, Agency.) And so, when SoCal Gas screwed up and the ceiling went down and the walls went in, it meant something more than needing to trot up to the second floor if you wanted a toasted bagel.
It means, more than ever, that agents are having to eat in a mall.
I've previously wondered just where the hell these agents were supposed to dine when they were used to having all of Beverly Hills at their walking-distance disposal. However, it's worse than I'd imagined.
I'm told that because the CAA Death Star is so damned massive, it's a project just to emerge (to say nothing of unscathed). Like 10-15 minutes' worth of elevators, escalators and agressive trotting. There's a valet, but if the dozen people in front of you are in the same suits waiting for the same 7-series, it's tough to pull rank.
So, do the math: 15 minutes in, 15 minutes back. And, let's face it, 15 minutes to travel the 1 1/4 miles from Century City to the Grill. Sure, you could roll calls, but those 45 minutes are a real problem in a culture that has spent the last 20-odd years living and dying by the 90-minute lunch.
In Century City, Open Table lists just three restaurants. And the last time Eater LA checked in, that Craft is gonna be a while.
It breaks my heart. Really. So this is what I'm going to do.
I am going to provide a rundown on every Century City-adjacent restaurant (read: that a CAA agent would allow himself to be seen inside). A veritable blitzkreig designed to let CAA know just what they're up against.
And if it does turn out to be really that bad, perhaps consider a little DIY? I know, Ovitz did it. Big deal; so do it better.
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