Sweet Lady Jane Sucks, or, The best LAist post ever

I don't know Callie Miller, but she's my hero today for her rant against Sweet Lady Jane.

The Paris Hilton of bakeries, it's earned a nationwide go-to reputation I've never understood. I've had the cakes many times and found them dry and bland, qualities I don't expect at $7 a slice. I've also heard tales of rotten, attitudinal service -- the kind that translates to, "I don't care because we're hot and I know you'll take it."

Often, they have been right. This time, they weren't.

You should read the whole post, but here's an edited highlight:

She looked down at the packet of papers I was holding in my hand and said, “So I see you have your pictures. Let’s have a look.” I handed her eight different pictures of very basic, very clean cakes. She quickly thumbed through them and for each one said something like “Nope. Nope. Won’t do it. Wouldn’t want to. This one is awful. We might do this one for you. Can’t do that one. This one isn’t even possible to make.”

She was on the hunt for portfolio cakes. If it didn't fit within their "aesthetic," it wasn't worth their time. One cake in particular (green striped one at left) was our favorite. She looked at the picture and said “Impossible. This is not a real cake. It can’t be done.” When I told her it was a real cake from another bakery, she said, “Well, you’ll have to find out how they did it and then we might do it for you. But it will be $28/slice.”

I asked my fiancé if he had time to taste a few cakes. He said sure, if we make it quick. That was the precise moment when she lost it. She replied: “Oh, I see, so this is just a 'pretend' cake meeting for you? You’re not really interested in working with us? You don’t have the time to taste our cakes?”

For the full meltdown, click here. And Callie, when you find your dream bakery, let me know. I'd love to give it the writeup it deserves.

Comments

[Nick]

If there's one thing I can stand even less than a gush-fest, it's a backlash-fest, and the latter has been going on with SLJ for some time. It hasn't affected me; I continue to love most of their cakes. The staff is never great, but I don't go there for the zippy service so it doesn't particularly bug me.

But man, that story is truly appalling. I won't stop going there for the occasional slice, but I will think twice about even trying to get a wedding cake from them. (And that's saying a lot, since before reading this post I pretty much had my heart set on it.)

[Dana]

I hear you. The reason I jumped on this particular bandwagon is SLJ's supremacy has become part of the accepted LA lore and, while every community has its urban myths, celebrity support has made this one particularly persistent. Even with its carbphobia, LA still has plenty of room for a few brilliant bakeries -- and if giving air to this bad behavior gives a wannabe baker the courage to step out, mazel tov.

[Jill]

No matter how dry any of their other cakes are, the three berry is still delicious. Though I have to confess, I discovered that Pavillions makes a pretty good version of such a cake. All you have to do is place a special order at the bakery counter for a yellow cake with fresh berries between the layers and whipped cream frosting. It's slightly less pretty than the SLJ cake, but it's also about 1/5 the price.

Here's a question: does anybody know what Sweetcake is? It's opening on La Brea where part of Diamond Foam and Fabric used to be...

[Dana]

Sweetcake is this bakery:

http://sweetcake.com/

and more info is here (see the sidebar at the bottom of the page):

http://www.variety.com/index.asp?layout=weekend&content=jump&jump=article&articleID=VR1117944951&category=2033

[Joseph Brutsman]

Sweet Lady Jane ruined my young daughter's birthday party, wrongly putting coffee frosting inside the layers rather than chocolate. It was clearly their mistake but they said the cake looked beautiful and we got our money's worth from that. We said the kids wouldn't eat coffee frosting; they said some kids like coffee frosting. At Sweet Lady Jane's, it seems the customer is wrong, even when they make expensive and stupid mistakes. I've never seen such rude people in my life.