The Knife

Celebrate the 1st anniversary of The Knife and vote for The Kindest Cuts

I'm not big on formality, but (ahem) The Knife is a year old. (The official birthdate is/was November 13.)

To celebrate, I'm launching The Kindest Cuts, otherwise known as The Knife's year-end recognition/celebration of Los Angeles' best restaurants, chefs and wine/food stores.

Not the best that opened this year, just... the best. Your favorites. Casual, fancy, large, small -- I want to honor the people and places that would make The Knife's readers gnash teeth and rend clothing were they to close or move away.

To do this, I need your help. Badly.

Tell me what and who you love -- restaurants, chefs and stores -- and why. Leave your thoughts in the comments section (or, if you're feeling shy, email). I'll use your responses to create polls that will let you vote for your favorites.

The winners will be announced in The Knife and receive a formal recognition suitable for display (or, depending on temperament, storing in the garage).

On a similar note: The Knife's second cousin, Restaurants & Institutions (like Variety, it's part of Reed Business), is seeking nominees for its annual Top 100 Independent Restaurants, which are published in April. Says the editor in chief, Scott Hume:

"There never are any Los Angeles spots on the list and it makes me nervous and suspicious. SURELY there are hotspots there doing more than $12 million a year in F&B sales."

Surely he's right. Let's lay his suspicions to rest: If you own, or know of, a LA restaurant that fits the $12 million bill in 2007, tell me.

This was the R&I list for 2006 (published 4/15/2007). (Click through to see the full image.)

At least one Sundance party will have good wine: "Bottle Shock"

The 2008 Sundance Film Festival announced its lineup this week and included is a movie that could be the next "Sideways."

"Bottle Shock" is the story of the early days of California winemaking, culminating with the "Judgement of Paris" wine tasting in which we kicked Francophile hiney.

Alan Rickman stars as wine merchant Steven Spurrier and Bill Pullman as Chateau Montelena winemaker Jim Barrett (who commissioned the film with his brother Bo), with Danny DeVito as Grgich Hills founder Mike Grgich.

(For the record, that's Grgich on the left and DeVito on the right.)

Anyway, it's directed by Randall Miller, whose credits include "Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing & Charm School," and he wrote it with the son and daughter of Sherwood Schwartz, the man who gave the world "The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island." If that's not a vote of confidence, I don't know what is.

Of note: Spurrier's not happy. He had intended to make his own film, "Judgement of Paris," about the historic event (with a script by Robert Mark Kamen, of Kamen Estate Wines) and has accused the "Bottle Shock" producers of defamation and threatened to sue. According to Decanter.com, where Spurrier is a contributing editor, he was:

"outraged that he is being portrayed as 'an impossibly effete snob'. Having read the script he finds the portrayal of his character 'deeply insulting,' he said.

Liz Fowler of Clear Pictures Entertainment, the producers of the "Judgement of Paris," said the rival film 'is a gross misrepresentation of both himself and the historical accuracy of the event now known as the Judgement of Paris.'

Spurrier said, 'There is hardly a word that is true in the script and many, many pure inventions as far as I am concerned.'

Fowler told decanter.com, 'There are episodes that are completely fictional. Steven Spurrier is portrayed as masterminding the event but there was none of that involved. They fully expected the French to win.' "

FOOD SECTIONAL: In which the New York Times gets it right, and wrong

There's a great audio slide show dedicated to tiki cocktails here.

Again with the cocktails! Only this time, the focus is kind of genius: It's the story of Jeff Berry, a California native (! dammit!) who is utterly geeked out (and apparently, utterly serious) about "elevating the lowly reputation of umbrella drinks to their rightful standing" and is the author of “Sippin' Safari: In Search of the Great "Lost" Tropical Drink Recipes... and the People Behind Them” (from a division of the tiny Slave Labor Graphics Publishing). 

Writer Steven Kurutz calls Berry a "cocktail shamus" and he might deserve the distinction: Did you know that the original tiki master was Ernest Raymond Beaumont-Gantt, who renamed himself Donn Beach and, in 1934, opened Don the Beachcomber’s in Hollywood? And was such an obsessive that he wouldn't write down drink recipes, but wrote down the formulas in code? Great stuff, and with an audio slide show to boot.

However, as if to prove that the NYT is also capable of pulling a boner: According to Florence Fabricant, Citrus at Social will open in May. Not so, according to the Social Hollywood rep: They're still aiming for January 15 or thereabouts, the better to coincide with the Oscar season. 

FOOD SECTIONAL: Now pre-cut for your enjoyment

As always, The Knife gives the LA Times' Food section home team advantage.

Oh, dear. Again with the story that's about-New-York -no-it's-LA-OK-it's New York. Interesting topic: Cocktail culture has taken hold to the point that bars are demanding behaviors as sophisticated as the drinks. Betty Hallock cites two examples in LA and more in New York (to the point that I wondered if Death & Co. had opened in LA and why I hadn't heard of it -- sounds like a great place). And her only LA examples were the Doheny (the downtown private club not yet open) and the new Father's Office, owned by Sang "'I'm an asshole; you got a problem with that?" Yoon.

But really, the problem here isn't the NY/LA thing -- it's a small item writ large, when it probably would have made a great Restaurant Journal. Nice recipes, though; too bad the slide show didn't work.

Irene S. Virbilia writes what sounds like a well-deserved takedown of Hidden, a new restaurant I've been avoiding: Why would four cuisines in one space work when most restaurants can barely handle one? Or, as she concludes:

It may be all right for a drink, but the confusing concept, lame cooking and general ineptness make Hidden a no-go zone for anybody who cares about food.

What she said.

By contrast, nice to see a rave for a little place on Robertson, Cafe Bella Roma, which could be the new Osteria La Buca (now that OLB has expanded and has a liquor license to call its own).

Cooking videogames and other reasons not to play with your food

If chefs have stalkers, of course they have videogames!

Next summer will see the launch of the "Hell's Kitchen" videogame, just in time for the show's fourth season. The press release talks about engaging fans across multiple platforms (yawn), but I'd like to see the version in which achieving new levels means getting to hear Ramsay's increasingly florid profanities, including some he's invented exclusively for the product.

Newsletter subscribers: click here for the "Cooking Mama" trailer.

"Hell's Kitchen" isn't the first unholy alliance of whisks and joysticks. There's Nintendo's "Cooking Mama Cook Off" and the just-released "Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Friends." ("Everyone's favorite Mama returns for a second helping, but this time her finicky friends will taste and judge your kitchen creations!"). These share the same producer as "Cake Mania" ("Help Jill upgrade her kitchen with state-of-the-art baking tools while serving her increasingly difficult customers so she can ultimately earn enough money to re-open her grandparents’ shop!"). Similarly disturbing (although with better graphics) is "Chocolatier 2", which starts you off with 50 sacks of cocoa beans.

My question: Sweet Jesus, who is going to play this stuff?

BREAKING: GORDON RAMSAY ACCOMPANIED EVERYWHERE BY BODYGUARD, INCLUDING THE LOO

I'm kidding, of course. It can't be breaking news if it happened a week ago.

Last Tuesday was the start of my Thanksgiving vacation, otherwise known as The Time In Which No Blogging May Penetrate. That evening, I took my parents to "A Night in 'Hell's Kitchen' " at the Paley Center for Media.

Full disclosure: I've never watched "Hell's Kitchen" (or for that matter, "Top Chef." I know: The nerve, I call my myself a food blogger, et. al.). And I didn't that night, either -- it was billed as a panel discussion with Gordon Ramsay, so I expected the host to ask why he cursed so much, Ramsay would call him a fucking twat and we'd go home. But first, there were a couple of brief speeches by his producers and a full episode of his other, less-successful show, "Kitchen Nightmares," as if Ramsay was a Florida timeshare and we had to be sold on his utter fabulosity before they'd cough up the Disneyland ticket.

Sounds wretched, except it was fun watching "Kitchen Nightmares" for the first time. (Your mileage may vary. Based on that one episode, the Best Week Ever takedown is dead on.) I even liked a bit of EPK material in which the producer shows off a "Hell's Kitchen" nerve center that resembles nothing so much as NBC on election night.

However! We were there to see the chef who suffers no fools and calls them ignorant fuckers. (Which he does, beautifully: "IG-noraN-t fuckAHH!") And the panel was interesting, with the show's executive producer calling "Top Chef" a copycat ("We're just going to box up our tapes and send it to them") and Ramsay sneering, "The ones who don't make it on 'Hell's Kitchen' go on 'Top Chef.' "

(That said, Ramsay totally punted when I asked for his best and worst restaurants in L.A., saying he'd had nothing but fabulous meals at Sona, AOC and the Mozzas. As well he might, although FOX exec/fellow panelist Mike Darnell did let it slip that Ramsay was nonplussed by Saddle Peak Lodge: "It was a bad night for them.")

Evening's over and we're in the lobby, where there's little lemon cakes wrapped in cellophane courtesy of the panel moderator, Hans Rockenwagner. My dad goes to the restroom and comes back with news.

"Gordon Ramsay has a bodyguard in the restroom."

According to my dad, Ramsay was tailed by a very large man dressed in black who stood at the back of the restroom, hands folded in front of him. Ramsay did his business and they headed back into the lobby where, I can attest, he was beset with fans who wanted his picture, his autograph and probably to bear his children. He did his best, then apologized to everyone else ("Sorry, luv, I've got to do a shoot").

All of which made me conclude what I should have realized already: Celebrity chefs have stalkers, plural. When did cooking become the new Beatlemania?

At $45 a pound, coffee that's a ripoff

Intelligentsia and Groundwork: Two local
suppliers of the real, $99-a-half-pound thing

Remember the World's Most Expensive Coffee? And how there was an online supplier who seemed to offer it for a fraction of the price? How so, I wondered? And, voila! Answers.

Before I delve too deeply into the explanations, I should point out that Intelligentsia was only one of seven coffee suppliers who laid claim to the record-setting auction lot. (The others were the LA-based Groundwork, The Roasterie, Roastmasters.com, Zoka Coffee Roaster & Tea Co., 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters and Coffee Klatch Roasting.)

Another thing: There's nothing surprising that this batch was declared the winner in a national competition. As Geoff Watts of Intelligentsia puts it: "It always wins. It's like the Kenyan marathon runners."

However, that doesn't mean the end of bragging rights. Says Alex Russan of Groundwork: "We own two bags of the standard production lot, one 50lb bag of the auction lot AND the ONLY BAG IN THE WORLD of the peaberries from this farm -- this is very notable. Peaberries are cherries that developed only one instead of two beans inside and are thought to be more flavorful. Groundwork owns every peaberry of Finca Esmarelda's geisha coffee."

OK!

Now, on to why $198-per-pound coffee could be sold for $45. Bottom line: Caveat emptor.

This comes from Intelligentsia, which launched its sale of the $99 per half-pound coffee last week. Watts, Intelligentsia's director of coffee/green coffee purchaser writes:

Just to shed some light on the subject... the coffee being sold on the Geisha coffee website is not the same as the auction lot. It comes from the same farm -- Hacienda La Esmeralda -- but is a different coffee.

Campanile opens a WGA soup kitchen

Striking has its benefits: On Wednesday, Campanile will launch Writers' Soup Kitchen, an $18 prix fixe dinner menu. Campanile, of course, has been a favorite of WGA (and AMPTP) members since it opened two decades ago; even then, I don't think Campanile offered three courses for $18.

And I quote:

“For 18 years, Campanile has enjoyed continuous loyalty and patronage of writers, executives, actors, and other participants within the television and film industry,” said Mark Peel, executive chef and owner of Campanile. “While we hope for an expeditious and equitable resolution to the strike, we feel compelled to offer our support for the writers during this challenging time and have created a special menu for current members of WGA that meets the high standards of Campanile, at a substantially reduced price. 

Beginning next Wednesday night, Campanile will launch its Writers Soup Kitchen menu: A three-course meal including the option of either vegetarian or non-vegetarian soup; a choice of one of three gourmet entrées; and a delectable dessert for a fixed price of $18.

Diners only need to present one WGA card per table to be eligible for the Writers Soup Kitchen menu.

For reservations or inquiries please call the Campanile front desk at 323-938-1447 or visit www.campanilerestaurant.com

What food goes well with a strike? Studio-adjacency is a must; portability helps, too. Among the top picks at Metromix.com: Papoo's Hot Dog Show (Warners), Vegan Express (Uni) and Village Pizzeria (Paramount). Nine miles a day burns 700-800 calories, even if you're walking in a circle.

WGA: Will Strike for Food [Metromix]

Expensive restaurants? Oh, I thought you meant expensive.

I take it all back, Michelin: Los Angeles doesn't know from expensive.

At Forbes, Pascale Le Draoulec (she of the LA Times' "it's-so-hard-to-get-good-help" article a couple of weeks ago) writes about the world's priciest restaurants, of which LA has a whopping none.

Spending $150 on a meal might seem steep for some.

At Masa, the sushi temple in Manhattan's Time Warner Center, it's merely the cost of canceling your dinner reservation last-minute.

Should you dine, plan to shell out a minimum of $500.

Costly, for sure. But the $400 prix-fixe dinner at Masa is comprised of about 25 courses. That doesn't include tax or the automatic 20% gratuity--kaching! Nor does it cover a beverage. The least expensive sake on the menu is the Otokoyama Momenya. An eight-ounce pour costs $24.

There's also a slide show that features the usual suspects (French Laundry, Joel Robuchon, Alinea, El Bulli) as well as a "modest little steakhouse" in Tokyo, Aragawa, that runs $550 per person. Baffling: The photos include a Montreal place, Toque! There, a seven-course menu is a mere $92, a barrier LA (and a lot of other cities) could crack without breaking a sweat.

World's Priciest Restaurants [Forbes.com]