The Knife

Joe Pytka, Action Figure.

Joe Pytka. Bastide owner. Commercial director. Action figure.

I think there should be a whole line of restaurant action figures. Pull the string in Gordon Ramsey's back and hear one of eight profane hissy fits! Choose a cloche for Alice Waters! Take along Anthony Bourdain as your very own drinking buddy!

Slow Food tells The Knife not so fast

So it turns out that the Alice Waters table at the Sept. 23 Campanile dinner benefiting Slow Food Nation has not been sold -- and furthermore, $25,000 will not buy you a seat; it will buy you Waters' entire 10-person table.

What if you have a hankering to hang with Waters, but have only $2,500 or so burning a hole in your pocket? Says Slow Food rep Lisa Lucas:

"If there are individuals who can't rustle up a table of 10 but do want to support the event at this level, they can indicate that and be put on a waiting list. If the table is not sold as a whole and seats are available, I'm sure we'll accommodate them. And if the table is sold, we would be in contact with them about the $1,000 seats (which will be in the same section, near Alice's table, and will also include the pre-dinner cocktail reception with Alice and Mark Peel)."

James Beard made me do it: Gluttonpalooza

In the fall, there is a movement to fatten us up like pigs for slaughter.

SEPT. 23: Outstanding in the Field goes head-to-head with a fundraiser for Slow Food Nation at Campanile, with Alice Waters hosting with chef-owner Mark Peel. Waters' table is already booked; seats were $25,000 each. You can still pay $250 for a less lofty seat, or $1,000 for said seat and the cocktail reception that precedes it. 

SEPT. 28: Steak. Steak will help you get ready for Saturday's American Food & Wine Festival. Wolfgang Puck will host "Red Hot Friday" at Red Seven (Pacific Design Center) with contributions from CUT, Wynn Hotel's SW Steakhouse, Craft and others. A ticket is $150. Like the festival, proceeds go to Puck-Lazaroff Foundation, earmarked for Meals on Wheels.

The same night is the inaugural launch of James Beard Foundation's Taste America, billed as a national food festival. In L.A., that means dinner at Providence, with chef Michel Richard (Citronelle, Washington, D.C.) working with Providence's Michael Cimarusti. It's $150 per person; $200 with wine pairing. Some proceeds go to yep, Puck-Lazaroff.

SEPT. 29: Nancy Silverton does a cooking demonstration at Williams-Sonoma in the name of the Beardies. Her sister will also be on hand with samples from her Gelato Bar in Studio City. In the evening, there's a cocktail party on the Universal backlot.

OCT. 7: A week later, it's Savor the Season for Break The Cycle. At this point that sounds like a directive, but it's a benefit for teens facing dating violence. Restaurants include Jar, Bin 8945, Tanzore, Water Grill, Il Grano and Violet. Tickets are $100, $250 for VIPs.

And with that, let the trussing begin.

Outstanding in the Field.
Slow Food Nation, Campanile. www.slowfoodla.com or (323) 938-1447
Red Hot Friday. (310) 777-3707
American Food and Wine Festival. www.awff.org
James Beard Foundation's Taste America, Providence. (323) 460-4170
Savor the Season, Exposition Park. Savortheseason.org or (310) 424-2805