The Knife

FOOD SECTIONAL: LA Times visits Bastide, gets giddy

Bastide, post-Chairgate.

First up! Irene S. Virbilia reviews Bastide. And it's a flat-out, full-throttle rave.

It's Bastide, unbuttoned. ...Service is as good as it gets in Los Angeles... All this at a price that's a bargain by European standards. The result is a restaurant unlike any other, certainly in L.A., and probably anywhere else in the country. This is restaurant as art form.

And so on. However, there's something missing, at least online: Where's the friggin' stars? They're missing, along with the little box that tells you the address, phone number and hours. On that note, Virbilia mentions that Bastide owner Joe Pytka is thinking about opening for lunch and breakfast. Who knows if that will happen -- Pytka thinks about a lot of things -- but brunch at Bastide? Bring it on.

Also, Restaurant Journal returns with some truly tasty scoopage: Providence's Michael Cimarusti will open a restaurant on the second floor of Beverly Blvd. clothing boutique Lords, in the old Le Colonial space. And already, Lords has a foodie retail counter: Espresso (and Clover coffee!) from LA Mill and bready goodness from Providence pastry chef Adrian Vasquez. All in advance of the coffee boutique that LA Mill's Craig Min is opening with Cimarusti. (Betty Hallock's source was Lords' owner; Providence reps declined comment and LA Mill was weird about it, too.)

The rest of the Food section, as often happens this time of year, is devoted to holiday-minded recipes, although Amy Scattergood has a nice piece about the Foundry chef Eric Greenspan cooking for Hanukkah with his mom. "Use a box grater, Ma!" "Ma, it's a latke!"

Bastide's Booty Call

Because sometimes you can't improve on perfection.

As reported by Eater LA: Bastide's already put a hit on its godforsaken chairs. 

Top 10 facts about dinner at Bastide

Here's my impressions of dining at the week-old Bastide. (Given yesterday's rant, I feel compelled to point out that while we dined anonymously, I don't feel comfortable calling this a full-fledged review.)

1. Free wine pairings for all. (For now; they still don't have a wine list.)
2. Tiny. Maybe 30 seats.
3. At $80 and $100 for four or seven courses, a bargain. (That doesn't include tax or the compulsory 18% tip.)
4. A commitment. Expect to spend a minimum of 3 hours.
5. Sincere and enthusiastic, although service is still a little wonky.
6. Deconstructed lobster taco: A shot of crystal-clear salsa, a spoonful of lobster with a dab of avocado mousse, a tiny scoop of lime sorbet in a tablespoon or tequila.
7. A chandelier composed of filament-thin wires tipped by wine labels.
8. Little bacon brioches.
9. Duck-fat fries.
10. A piece of 7,000-year-old pink sea salt large enough to kill someone. Our waiter grated it over the hamachi instead.

Best wine of the night: A Barolo, the 2001 Poderi Aldo Conterno Cicala.
Best dish: The hamachi with the sake-oyster cocktail. The LAT forgot to mention how delicious they tasted together.
Biggest disappointment: That UrbanDaddy photo (see above) is accurate.

Want to see the evening's menus for yourself? Please visit the jump.

Joe Pytka, Action Figure.

Joe Pytka. Bastide owner. Commercial director. Action figure.

I think there should be a whole line of restaurant action figures. Pull the string in Gordon Ramsey's back and hear one of eight profane hissy fits! Choose a cloche for Alice Waters! Take along Anthony Bourdain as your very own drinking buddy!

*BREAKING: Bastide won't let you pay for dinner

Bastide owner Joe Pytka has a reputation as a maverick, which is a nice way of saying genius/lunatic. However, his (re)opening concept for Bastide definitely falls on the genius side of the fence: Charge your first customers nothing.

The new-restaurant tradition is to hold friends-and-family dinners: Pals get free food; shaky-legged restaurant gets soft landing pad. However, Pytka has a problem with the landing pad. It ensures that you'll spend your early days hearing, "Everything's great! Congrats!" Comforting, yes; helpful, maybe not.

Here, the public comes to Bastide as paying customers; only when it's time for the check are people told that their meals were on the house, with the restaurant's thanks for having served as its guinea pigs.* "Invited guests don't order the same way as the public," says restaurant consultant Jerry Prendergrast, who says opening night Wednesday "had its slow issues," but that they've already made adjustments.

As for what the public will (not) be paying, there's two prix fixe tasting menus each night (about $85 and $125); respective wine pairings are $75 and $150. Tip and valet are included.

Bastide, 8475 Melrose Place. (310) 651-5950

* Too late. The free-dinner policy runs through Saturday and they're already booked solid. And the longhair is Mr. Pytka.