The Knife

Variety joins the Fast Food Nation

This is not Restaurant #8. It is the runner up in a press release contest I didn't know I was holding.

That's a promotional burger sent to the Variety offices. A burger that, at first glance, appears to be made of plaster of Paris, maybe Styrofoam, but feels disturbingly both spongy and stale. It also has the vaguely bubble-gum fruity fragrance I associate with pillowcases after they've been filled on Halloween.

In other words, it's a candy hamburger. One that arrived whole, but investigative  instincts got the best of fellow Variety editor and Eating L.A. blogger Pat Saperstein. 

Truth In Restaurant Advertising

The best press release I'll get this week comes from VelvetPR, which is flacking Mischa Barton and David Katzenberg's V-Day dinner at Sur Restaurant:

"Sur Restaurant is the proud neighbor of the elitist Chrome Hearts and Maxfield, Sur Restaurant is located at 606 N Robertson Blvd."

Robertson Boulevard: Where the elitist meet.

The Knife is temporarily dulled

The Knife is, unfortunately, in Chicago until tomorrow night - where I will not be eating at any place worth blogging about. (Trust me on this.) Posting returns Wednesday.

Let me pull on my hairshirt...

I went off to Sundance without a word to anyone.
I am a bad blogger.

Happy Chrimble et. al.

The Knife returns Jan. 2. 

A cup of David Lynch; Ca'Brea Ca'Burned

* David Lynch is a human percolator. And he's willing to prove it. The man who invented chainsmoking coffee (the moment he drains one large latte, an assistant slides over another) is getting into the coffee business. David Lynch Signature Cup Coffee is available "soon" (he told The Knife) at Whole Foods Markets and at select theaters where he's self-distributing his new movie, "Inland Empire."

* I don't care who you are, you're not getting a reservation: Driving past Ca'Brea last night, it seemed awfully quiet. Turns out they had an electrical fire and they're out of business until "the first week of January," according to the message on its answering machine.

Thanksgiving gives me Wonkavision

Well, that was clever.

In my next life, I won't launch a fine-dining/wine-drinking blog the week before the biggest home-cooking orgy of the year.

I was on the 10W at 8 a.m. this morning, on purpose, so I could fight 1,000 other foodies for Brussels sprouts, heirloom apples and multi-colored carrots at the SanMo Farmer's Market. (Including these really, really tiny ones that look like they've gone through Wonkavision.) For the next few days, everyone knows what everyone else is eating, and why.

All of which is my way of saying, The Knife will return with daily posts next week.

Thanksgiving with T-Mobile and Taco Bell

* Is red wine like liquid celery? Probably not.

* If you don't want to deal with Thanksgiving, they do. Prices vary.

* And wherever you dine, feel free to text at the table; T-Mobile says it's OK. And don't forget to go Taco Bell afterward.

It's Friday. Act accordingly.

* Nouveau Beaujolais arrives today. Some say there's reason to believe this year's vintage will taste less like Kool-Aid. (The Times)

* The initials for Market Price are B.S. (Diner's Journal)

* A frisee salad with homemade bacon and a perfect poached egg can mitigate the need to visit France. (Lou on Vine)

* If you haven't had the pizza at La Buca, you should. Ditto the wild arugula salad and the homemade cocoa pasta with artichoke cream sauce. However, it won't be any easier to get a reservation until February; that's when, they promise, the construction site next door will turn into an expansion. 

* Tastes more like M Cafe de Chaya; hours and location more like Canter's. (T on Fairfax)