The Knife

French fries: Consider this a warning

This isn't so much a blog post as a public service announcement. Those fries on the right? Ninety seconds earlier, they were the potato flakes on the left.

Such is the doing of FryWorks, which demonstrated its Willy Wonka of a product (video here) at last weekend's Restaurant Expo. Pour flakes into the top of the machine; fries come out at the bottom. They also stay crisp and relatively hot for a discomfiting period of time. The taste? French-fryish. Like crispy instant potato with a hint of cardboard.

Although Guy and the other Golden West Equipment reps seem like nice people, it must be said: This is truly instant karma. Tread carefully.

Two-Buck Chuck: This is sick.

The 2005 Charles Shaw Chardonnay won the California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition competition, beating out 250 other California wines. It received a Double Gold and 98 points.

Trader Joe's is a godsend for $5 Rioja rose' and screwtop Gruner Veltliner. But Two Buck Chuck Chardonnay tastes like fermented pencil shavings dosed with corn syrup. The TBC Merlot is fine for Sangria, but for the love of God spend an extra dollar or two on a white wine for cooking.

ABC has the video, which includes Caroline Styne (AOC, Lucques, Suzanne Goin's partner in crime) doing another blind Chardonnay tasting, this one set up by the network. They don't say who won, but the face she makes while swallowing the Charles Shaw looks as if she expected a glass of Evian and got a mouthful of the Los Angeles River instead.
(Thanks to Jonathan Mitchell, sommelier at Pacific Dining Car, for the heads up.)

Hepatitis A and Wolfgang Puck: A real public service announcement

This missive comes from Variety tech reporter David Cohen. He has particular fondness for the f/x world, even when its banquets might be infected.

If you ate tuna tartare in sesame cones during the last month, you should give Wolfgang Puck a call.

As others have reported, a prep cook infected with Hepatitis A helped prepare food for 13 Puck-catered events that took place Feb. 1-20. The disease can be spread through contaminated food, particularly if it's uncooked.

Anyone infected with Hepatitis A has two weeks to receive a preventative Immunge Globulin shot. A Valentine’s Day party held at the Pacific Design Center for Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue came just under the wire. Rachel Tyree, public information officer for the Health Dept., says three other events held within the preventative window were "relatively small private parties" and all guests received phone calls from the Health Dept.

By the time the infection came to light Feb. 28, it was too late for anyone exposed at nine of the events, including the Feb. 11 Visual Effects Society Awards. The Los Angeles County Health Dept. sent warning letters to the more than 800 people who attended the event, including "Heroes" star Masi Oka, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak and helmers John Landis and George Lucas.

Those eight other events that didn’t make deadline? They aren’t publicly identified and the Health Dept. isn’t getting involved.

Variety joins the Fast Food Nation

This is not Restaurant #8. It is the runner up in a press release contest I didn't know I was holding.

That's a promotional burger sent to the Variety offices. A burger that, at first glance, appears to be made of plaster of Paris, maybe Styrofoam, but feels disturbingly both spongy and stale. It also has the vaguely bubble-gum fruity fragrance I associate with pillowcases after they've been filled on Halloween.

In other words, it's a candy hamburger. One that arrived whole, but investigative  instincts got the best of fellow Variety editor and Eating L.A. blogger Pat Saperstein.