'American Idol' Beaches Itself In San Diego

A new low in "American Idol" audition shows has been reached.
No solid sob stories, no great auditions and one extra-creepy contestant meant that the highlight was Paula's sudden infatuation with a 16-year-old who had a vocal cord problem some years back. I see it now: On Randy Jackson's second album the two could duet on "Hot for Teacher."
Beyond Paula's goo-goo eyes for David Archuleta, though, the San Diego try-outs were lacking. Big-boy Alberto with the enormous fan, flowers between his toes and disgustingly long fingernails (what's with the nails this year?), was relentlessly awful. And he had no story to tell. Weak.
If he didn't creep you out, certainly the over-tattooed Mr. Smithson, husband of the former Carly Hennessey, did. Mrs. Smithson, who has only committed to inking the majority of her right arm, cries over her past visa problems, but never mentions the  millions of dollars  that were sunk into her non-career just a few years ago.

CITY: San Diego
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 31
OF THE 31, WE HEARD: 5
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 11, including the poor kid Blake who has now auditioned and been rejected 11 times due to some bizarre Oedipal desire to please his wannabe stage mother.
MEDIOCRE SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 1
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
WELL-STATED COMMENTS FROM SIMON: 4
BY RANDY JACKSON: 2
SINGERS WHO WILL DEFINITELY DO WELL: 0