'American Idol' Not Too Crazy For Carolina

The "Idol" judges, apparently dazed by the travel to an out of the way town like Charleston, must have felt like they were judging a state fair rather than a nationally televised show. What do you expect from a state that puts mustard in their barbecue sauce?
One mediocre singer after another was paraded before them, and many turned indignant when told no; the most captivating part of the hour was a 16-year-old girl preaching about abstinence.
Yes, the proselytizing virgin will be sent to the gates of hell, I mean Hollywood, where she will be put to the test and need to stay focused and dedicated. Not with the singing, you knucklehead. It's the chaperon-free  hotels filled with teen boys with raging hormones and none of the control of Amy Flynn. (If she emerges from the competition with her right arm tattooed and an ink-crazed boyfriend/husband, we'll just  attribute it to  her wanting  to go old-school Hollywood).
I'm sure she'll be just fine and it's likely her stay in Hollywood will not be all that long. This was a show with few winners.
But one did get the gold ticket was a brother-sister duo that violated  a couple of "Idol's" unwritten rules, primarily the one that says you need to stand out on your own. Jeffrey did, Michelle didn't. They both sang well, he was melodic and tuneful but she was relegated to backup singer and they were sent off with Jeffrey being advised to teach his sister.
Every viewer will remember these two. They are big. "Biggest Loser" big. Whether that's a help or hindrance, remains to be seen, but I'm actually pulling for Jeffrey.      

CITY: Charleston, S.C.
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: Not sure. "A handful," according to Ryan Seacrest
OF THE 'HANDFUL', WE HEARD: 4
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 8, including big-boobed Aretha, a female Air Force pilot and a waitress with falling shoulder straps from Kelly Pickler's hometown.
SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 1
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
CRAZIEST SPELLING OF A NAME YOU THOUGHT WAS JEWISH: Highman
ODDS THAT A SOUTH CAROLINA CONTESTANT HAS A 'PAST': 85%