The Set List

'American Idol' Scratches Diamond

The final five is far enough for "AI's" resident space cadet judge Paula Abdul, who is ready to crown David Cook champ, send Jason Castro packing and did not  even have the decency to tell Syesha Mercado how lovely she looked in purple. Abdul, more confused and unable to finish a sentence than in any other episode this season, may well be right about Castro - he does deserve to leave  - but she refuses to acknowledge the dull incompetence of Brooke White.
Strangely, though, the selection of Neil Diamond songs proved trickier than even Beatles night. As was evident on Lennon-McCartney night, the kids are again unaware of the cultural baggage that accompanies an artists' songbook not to mention this artist's trademarks - the  melodrama, the tempered pep and the MASSIVE  choruses.
Unlike the Beatles music, which is treated like scared texts, there's a modern context of Diamond tunes for people who did not live through the early 1970s: "Sweet Caroline" is for football stadium and wedding sing-alongs; "I Am I Said" is for overwrought Karaoke; "I'm a Believer" is for singing in the car when the Monkees come on the radio; and "Forever in Blue Jeans" is just a reminder of how awful soft-rock could be.
This was a show with no performance above the level of good. Cook did his usual throat rumble thing on a couple of Diamond obscurities that worked with the judges. Syesha's pleasant performances required an understanding of nuance and understatement, which seems to go out the window every year in this competition once it gets to seven or eight contestants. She actually took his songs, lightly adorned them and made them personal.
If anything, she revealed the limitation of a Diamond composition: "Thank the Lord for the Night Time" is a Diamond version of a soul belter but not necessarily a soul belter when handed over to new singer and arranger. It's a pop version of a musical theater version of a roadhouse blues, about three steps of pure emotion removed from Ray Charles' "Night Time is the Right Time."
David Archuleta went with bombast - "Sweet Caroline" and "America" - as if he was unaware of the heavy cheese factor associated with both. Has he been living in a cellar for almost two decades?
White butchered "I'm a Believer" and was hokey on "I Am I Said"; Castro displayed no redeeming qualities on "Blue Jeans" or "September Morn." Diamond, who had generic platitudes for each singer, is hoping the music buyers in the audience remember his name for at least a week; his  album "Home Before Dark" will be released Tuesday.
It was No. 10 on Amazon's best seller list at 10 a.m. Wednesday.   

'American Idol' Boogies Down Broadway

The discomfort zone of Andrew Lloyd Webber's music exposed the oft-covered gulf that has long existed between the performers - those who interpret and those who imitate. Lloyd Webber barked the advice of "words, words, words" and he could not have been more simple or direct. Sing a Broadway tune without understanding the character generally generates an overwrought booming performance - hello, "Impossible Dream" - leaving a singer with only one option if they are not playing it straight: Make it a pop tune.
David Cook and David Archuleta took "Phantom of the Opera" tunes and presented them in a way we have not really heard since the early 1970s, the last time pop singers turned to Broadway for material. Cook was restrained and precise; Archuleta swapped gender and worked within an arrangement that was more Babyface than Broadway. The two of them understand interpretation better than the rest.
Syesha opted, sans roller skates, for a "Starlight Express" number - "One Rock and Roll Too Many" - and ostensibly auditioned for the 2009-10 season on the Great  White Way. Carly Smithson did a straightforward reading of one of ALW's few classic rockers, "Jesus Christ Superstar," and neither impressed nor offended. Not sure how the Christians view "JC Superstar" these days. It was blasphemous to some in the early '70s, but that probably had more to do with sexuality within the love songs and the great King Herod line daring Jesus to walk across his swimming pool.
Worst of the night, Jason Castro and Brooke White proved themselves straight imitators. Castro apparently could not dig up a Jeff Buckley version of a Lloyd Webber tune and went "Hallelujah" on "Memory" - as bad a song selection as we have seen this year, complicated by a strained and unconvincing performance.
White, who chose to stop and restart, gave a Carly Simon treatment to "Evita's" "You Must Love Me" that garnered a major thumbs down from the three judges. She, too, strained throughout the perf and failed to find the confessional aspect of the tune. (She's big on that element, usually).
Intriguingly, though, whereas Castro was sent packing after getting his verbal lashings, White was brought back from the ledge she must have climbed on to hear some encouraging words. She seems mighty fragile and the producers' behavior may be giving her some sympathy votes.
Bottom three prediction: Jason, Brooke and Carly; Jason goes home.
And for the record: The musical theater is a training ground that Karaoke does not provide. It teaches a singer how to look inside a song, how to use dynamics and convey a story or emotion. The theatricality differs between the concert  stage and theater stage, but it's a key element in both. The Beatles did showtunes, the Jackson 5 did showtunes, many enduring country stars  did musical theater as youths and the lack of interpretations of modern Broadway tunes on the pop charts is society's loss. Were the judges from another era, their bias against music from the stage would be far less and sadly, not once on did the judges note any elements of sophistication or elegance that is so missing from modern pop music. And I'm not even a fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber and his overblown productions. If they really wanted to separate the best and the brightest, they would bring out Stephen Sondheim and make the kids sing brilliant, timeless music.  But they probably have never heard "Send in the Clowns," either.

'American Idol's' Personality Crisis Concerns Simon Cowell

A non-remonstrative Simon Cowell had a simple explanation as to why Michael Johns got the boot last week from "American Idol" - and it appears conspiracy theorists get it but the contestants do not.
"You cannot deliver an uninspired performance at the top of the show," Cowell said in an interview that mostly  concerned the chart success of Leona Lewis. "And you can't be up there imitating another singer."
As our conversation turned toward song selection, I noted that Aerosmith's "Dream On" did not fit the definition of inspirational, just because the word "dream" is in the title. "I couldn't agree with you more," Cowell chimed in.
With the one judge on the line who keeps the proceedings close to level, it was hardly surprising that Cowell, who considers talents shows in the U.S. and U.K. "the luck of the draw,"  would be willing to pinpoint a collective flaw in the season 7 cast.
"Personality," he said, a little more than an hour before Tuesday night's all-Mariah Carey show. "They are giving very safe answers to questions, making safe song selections. We are not getting a sense of who they are. We have to try to pull it out of them more."
That seemed like a marching order to me going in to Tuesday's show - let's play "Where in the World is an 'American Idol's' Personality?"
It's a little disturbing to think the most prominent personality in Creed's old neighborhood, where David Cook has taken up residence. He treated "Always Be My Baby" - a great pop song - as pliable, which all strong interpreters need to do. His rock power ballad version worked on multiple levels yet the  problem is the novelty factor: In the moment, it sounds great, but there has to be more variety down the road.
The one thing he did do, though, was assert himself as a thinking rock musician, aware of hit record styles beyond the "AI"/Mariah/Whitney/Nashville universe. It worked for Daughtry, but not so much for Taylor Hicks or Bo Bice.
Cowell was dead on in the personality assessment. Brooke White passed off a marginal demo-tape version of "Hero" as  "unplugged" and once again tussled with the judges; Kristy Lee Cook mangled "Forever," the most Phil Spector-ish tune in Mariah canon, but Cook did not play it that way; and David Archuleta did his usual "very, very good" (per Simon), making a risk but not a statement by tackling the Whitney-Mariah duet "When You Believe."
Carly Smithson covered her arm art but millions of young children probably had nightmares after cameras lingered on her illustrated man of a husband. Covering a cover is always a mistake:  the "AI" singers wind up doing hybrid versions and the judges are left wondering what the singer was thinking. If she had sung Harry Nilsson's or Badfinger's version of "Without You" as recorded back 30-odd years ago, she would have been banking on the judges' potential knowledge of the tune's slow build. It's Mariah week, however, and that means belt it big. As we saw recently on White's "You've Got a Friend," she landed in the middle and displayed no conviction.
Syesha was smart in picking "Vanishing," a gospel-infused tune from 1990 debut that the judges did not know. I say a good performance of a reasonably well constructed song, regardless of its hit status, can help a performer slide through in the middle of the pack. Simon believes she made a mistake by picking an obscurity, hinting it will lead to the bottom three. Tonight we'll see who's right; this should be the last we'll see of Miss Cook.      

'American Idol's' Interpretation of Inspiration Generates Consternation

In nearly every year of "American Idol," the elite eight comprises four or five strong performers, one or two genre specialists and two singers who need to be voted out promptly. This year's eight were given the theme of "inspirational," which one fears may produce a healthy dose of schmaltz, yet instead nearly every singer took the instruction to mean a song or sentiment that inspired them. How misunderstood was the assignment? Michael Johns, who chose Aerosmith's sing-or-die anthem "Dream On," must have heard them say "perspirational."
Misguided song choices revealed the singers' ignorance of history, interpretation skills and the do's 'n' dont's of the telecast. Syesha made a major blunder singing not just a former champ's tune, but doing perhaps the most famous song to ever be sung in a  finale, Fantasia's "I Believe." She said Fantasia is her idol, which I hope does not translate to ''I have a baby and cannot read," but it's no excuse. Fantasia won because she invested herself in songs and that appeal was visceral in American living rooms; Syesha is an attractive woman with a nice voice and telegenic qualities, but week after week her stock goes down for not revealing an inner-self.
Carly Smithson is in the same boat. Her delivery is based on big fat notes followed by a piercing wail - regardless of melody or lyrical intent, and she relies on the same vocal tricks weekly.  Queen's "The Show Must Go On" borders on the absurd as a song selection and she did absolutely nothing with it.
Perhaps the saddest aspect of the elite eight was that the high points were found in the  covers of the covers. Brooke White performed James Taylor's emotionally manicured, arm-around-the-shoulder version of Carole King's "You've Got a Friend," failing to bring out the anguish found in King's version. And Jason Castro sweetly played Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's uke-'n'-juke rendition of Yip Harburg and Harold Arlen's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," which discards rhyme schemes in the name of cuteness.
David Cook, like Syesha, would be wise to keep his musical taste private - Our Lady Peace is his favorite band; Kristy Lee Cook has extended her stay by sticking to pop country and wearing the perfect outfit; and David Archuleta, who will someday made a themed album called "Hits That Never Crossed the Pond," did Robbie Williams' "Angels" and earned the evening's highest praise from the judges.
Now check it out: Randy Jackson never used his catch phrase but found fault with five of the performances; Simon was less abrasive than usual but was able to pinpoint specific problems in the renditions. Secretly, I believe all the contestants are safe as this is "Idol Gives Back" week. Bottom three: Johns, Mercado and Smithson.
Early in the evening, Paula Abdul made an obtuse reference to her "chihuahuas." Piece of advice: When one is poured into a form-fitting strapless top, one should not make any reference to puppies.   

'American Idol' Kids Pretty Sure Their Grandparents Like '9 to 5'; Pretend To Adore Dolly Parton

OK. Check it out. "American Idol" instantly became Idol dilemma on Tuesday. It was Dolly Parton night, which in reality means drawn on a collection of country, pop and bluegrass tunes from the last 40 years, some of which have been interpreted by R&B stars and some by punk bands. What it should not mean is exactly how it was interpreted -  country night, save for a behemoth of a hit record from some movie about a bodyguard.  Genre nights can reshuffle the deck in a hurry, extending the TV life of a weak voice and sending a strong voice home early.
On a night when Simon Cowell was in solid curmudgeon form - and refusing to say he just plain does not care for Parton or fiddles - all nine singers delivered OK performances; nothing brilliant, nothing awful, which means America will either attempt to distinguish nuance or go with the singers with the personalities they like best. I'm guessing it's the latter.
It''s a week where the judges may actually be determining the outcome. Michael Johns' bluesy "It's All Wrong But It's All Right" oddly won raves from the judges but four bars in and I was thinking bottom three. Now some of that may owe to his questionable post-punk interpretation of a Thurston Howell III wardrobe, but he lacked command and vocal prowess through at least half of the tune. Three thumbs up on a night that had Randy using his "check it out" line for five of his assessments may be a significant seal of approval. (Maybe he had his fingers crossed that someone would sing Dolly's tune "Randy," peering into the judge's eyes as she - or he- sang about about feeling like they were in heaven when they were in his arms).
Cowell was correct in docking Brooke White's "Jolene" for lacking emotion (I'd call it boring), pegging Ramiele's "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind" as a cruise ship performance and essentially telling Jason Castro that his reading of "Travelin' Thru" did nothing to reveal that he can be a special performer.
Most crucial, though, was the slap on the wrist he gave Syesha Mercado for doing "I Will Always Love You" and letting it drift into Whitney Houston territory. It's a consistent "Idol" trip-up and Mercado may well find herself in the bottom two for a) not thinking beyond the obvious and b) too many Dolly-istas will be calling in for the singers who played it closer to the Parton vest. (Insert joke here. Sorry).
Carly Smithson lovingly executed a ballad version of "Here I Come Again," but it felt so very obvious. She may someday actually thank Cowell for pointing out that she does not dress like a star; the woman needs to wear something with sleeves. Guess what, Carly: As the number of contestants dwindles, the inked and the Irish votes won't be enough to get you into the finals and there will be a few singers with considerable mainstream appeal.
Mainstream today means David Archuleta and David Cook, both of whom delivered the evening's smartest performances.  They will be on the couch looking over at Ramiele, Syesha and White as the one who should really be listing farm animals on Craigs List for a plane ticket home is Kristy Lee Cook.             

'American Idol' Makes Another Run For the '80s

With the Beatles a thing of the past, "American Idol's" top 10 dipped into an inferior collection of songs in which better the tunes of the night pushed a few contenders into the upper levels.
Singing songs from the year of their birth,  David Cook, Syesha Mercado and Brooke White delivered performances that established them in the top 5, while Kristy Lee Cook pulled out the jingoistic stop to secure her place for at least another week. (Oddly enough,  Mercado is either 37 years old or the one person who owns Stephanie Mills' version of "If I Were Your Woman." No matter: After being the one person who actually had a grasp on a  McCartney tune last week, she simply improved Tuesday).
Cook did a hard-rock power ballad take on Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" that wowed all three judges, displaying a vocal command that made the risk work wonderfully. After quibbles about where he has been finding his arrangements, Ryan Seacrest actually introduced the tune as Chris Cornell's version of "Billie Jean." It opens the door for the host to actually say the words "and now for a rendition of Dynamite Hack's "Boyz in the Hood"... (For a truly sublime version of "Billie Jean," check out one by Caetano Veloso).
White's reading of "Every Breath You Take," one of the most gorgeous love songs in the post-Beatles rock canon, possessed a soothing touch when she performed and sang solo at the piano. Once the band came in, as the judges noted, the tune lost its spark. She did enough, though, to stay.
Kristy Lee Cook, born in the year of Ronald Regan's re-election, the invention of crack and the first year of the MTV Music Awards, turned to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA." While Randy, Paula and Simon refrained from displaying the "McCain-Gingrich '08" placards they must be sitting on, the trio gushed with an enthusiasm rarely seen - not just for the performance but for the song itself. I can see why Cowell called it "a brilliant song"; it is to Woody Guthrie's inclusive "This Land is Your Land" what Il Divo is to Placido Domingo.
And if some singers rise, others have to fall. Ramiele had another bad week, struggling with Heart's "Alone"; Jason Castro did a beachfront bar happy hour version of Sting's "Fragile"; and David Archuleta confused the words Australia and American to pull out the hideous John Farnham non-hit "You're the Voice." (It hit No. 82 in the States so if you're looking for it in a box of records in the garage, it will be right in front of your copy of the Stephanie Mills album with "(You're Puttin' ) A Rush on Me.") 
Cold and calculated Carly Smithson proved once again that she's a good backup/duets singer with "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and the obvious came to mind: Meatloaf. (She'd be great with him). Chikeze was a snoozefest and is the most likely to go; the other member of the bottom two may be hard for the judges to explain.
It's a toss up whether it  will be Michael Johns, who did a reasonably smart job with "We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions." But is he a one-trick Queen pony? The only other performance of his that stands out was "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that seems so  long ago. His history of unimpressive performances combined with the lack of the target demo appeal that other singers draw on for survival, could spell his demise. He would be the first this year to be trumped by personality over vocal skill.

Beatles Feel Minor 'Idol' Bump

After several seasons of bolstering album sales for 95% of the established artists who appear on "American Idol," the use of songs penned by John Lennon and Paul McCartney provided only a minimal boost in Beatles album sales.
Obviously there's a big difference between having an act perform and just having the contestants sing an act's tunes. But in this case, with the Beatles catalog still not available for download, there was no option to make an immediate purchase. Never mind that the interpretations were pretty bad, any time the Beatles are in the musical news, there are usually sales bumps. One would think, however, they would not be as slight as they were last week.
The two soundtrack packages for "Across the Universe," which, like "Idol," is interpretations of Beatles tunes, saw bumps of about 1,000 copies each. The deluxe edition was up to 18,000 sold; the regular edition hit 9,000, according to Nielsen Soundscan.
The 2007 release "Beatles Love," which was responsible for two Grammy wins last year, saw a 2,000 unit spike to 6,000 sold.
The best-selling Beatles album was the hits collection "1," which sold 9,000 copies, up from 5,000 two weeks ago. "Abbey Road," the penultimate Beatles release, was up 700 units to just over 3,000 sold. 

American Idol: Beatles Night Proves Long And Winding

Critics of the horrendous soundtrack to the even worse film "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band" may need to rethink their assessment now that "American Idol 7's" final 11 have mangled songs by John Lennon and Paul McCartney and a single George Harrison tune. That film  took  a beating in the late '70s, but nothing like the ugly stick these kids took to some of the most beloved songs or their parents - and grandparents' - generation.
Simon Cowell rightly wondered late in Tuesday's two hour show whether it was wise to do Beatles tunes two weeks in a row. At the top of the show, the assessments of the material at hand were appropriately glowing, but after the last singer, Ramiele, had yawned her way through "I Should Have Known Better," Cowell decided that too many of the singers had chosen "mediocre songs." You'd think they were doing "You Know My Name (Look Up My Number)," humming "Flying" or re-creating the laughter and applause in  "Revolution No 9." Mediocre? Them's fightin' words.
Leave the historical impact on the table for a moment - these versions were inappropriate, ill-conceived or bland, save for two: Kristy Lee Cook clicked for about 30 seconds on "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" and Syesha Mercado did a respectable "Yesterday." This night did not do anything to raise the clamor to get the Fab Four's songs onto iTunes.
As suspected, most of the contestants  had no clue as to what they were singing and the reasons for singing the songs were not good ones. Michael Johns wanted to pay tribute to a late friend by a doing a condensed version of "A Day in the Life"; if this were a film class would he reduce "The Godfather" to 16 minutes because it was his buddies' favorite pic? Bum notes galore and absolutely no sense of cohesion in the performance.
A lack of cohesion, actually, was repeated several times: Kristy Lee Cook tried to knock the Dylanness out of "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" and inject it with the perkiness of Marie Osmond;  Brooke White twisted "Here Comes the Sun" out of proportion after appearing to be playing it straight; Chikezie made a mockery of "I've Just Seen a Face" by starting in a tepid-soul vein and then shifting into half-baked bluegrass.
David Cook went the extra mile by proving a lack of understanding of rock history. David, doing the Whitesnake version of anything is never good. Those of us who were around know that if Tawny Kitaen had never crawled on that car in her Velcroed undies we would not be able to distinguish between Whitesnake and Kingdom Come. Since she did her thing, we know  who Whitesnake was. But on our planet, there are no T-shirts or bumper stickers that read "What would David Coverdale do?" So what would possess Cook to think that playing the Whitesnake version of "Daytripper" - which is not much different than the original - is a good idea, complete with talk box? Is Peter Frampton week coming up and he wanted to prepare "Show Me the Way" or is he connecting a bizarre set of dots between Frampton and his career-killing role as Billy Shears in "Sgt Pepper's"? I'll stop here.
Having to reduce Beatles tunes to about 90 seconds - and in some cases that means very little music is removed - did prove how deep and complete the storytelling is within these numbers. The later songs especially are three- and four-verse tales and the last verse  is crucial to understanding how the first verse should be sung. That's obvious - or so I thought - on "A Day in the Life" and on a song such as "She's Leaving Home," which was not performed. In the latter tune, it's the final lyrics that indicate the she in the story is pregnant, which certainly informs the delicate presentation at the song's beginning.
And that's what made David Archuleta's performance of "The Long and Winding Road" so troubling. He received glowing praise from the judges but in truth, he showed no command of the meaning of the lyrics. His version did not include the words "many times I've been alone and many times I've cried" but a singer can't approach the tune without knowing why they are on this particular long road. He hit notes but his connection to the song was as distant as White's "Here Comes the Sun."
Cowell missed the opportunity to accurately term a rendition as cabaret: Cary Smithson's overblown "Blackbird." He called it indulgent, which I can see, but she needs to be slapped around a bit. She's on key but dull. Hers was one of nine perfs that received a negative reaction from Cowell; Jackson and Abdul  were not feeling it on three of the perfs.
It looked like it might be one of those "what is Paula drinking nights" when she assessed Amanda Overmyer as "quintessential authentic who you are," but (unfortunately?) Paula recovered.
Quote of the night, though, belonged to Kristy Lee Cook, who apparently has been locked up with the farm animals a bit too long. Not only was she unfamiliar with the Beatles songs, she vowed to return and impress the judges by saying "I can blow you out of your socks." Ummmm, is she friends with any governors?

'American Idol' Down To A Dozen (warning: spoilers)

America almost got it right, clearing out three of the four singers whose substandard performances made them easy and obvious targets.
The one surprise among the eliminated class was Asia’h Epperson, who sang well enough to continue but was apparently penalized for violating the No Whitney rule. Once again, though, "American Idol" shows that when it comes to non-white performers, it's tough for two performers to remain in the competition if they share physical characteristics. This year, Epperson and Syesha Mercado were 20-ish, thin, light-skinned and attractive. It will be interesting if, once the whittling is one a week, a blonde female departs early if for no other reason than voters aligning with the one they view as either most like them or the one they want as a friend. Coincidentally, blondes Kristy Lee Cook and Brooke White, plus Chikezie, enter the top 12 with the weakest wind in their sails. 
First week of the mixed-gender shows will be spent with the Lennon-McCartney catalog, a first for "Idol." This could be seriously dangerous territory.
Consider: Only one of these singers, Michael Johns, was alive when John Lennon was murdered. Wings had broken up before they were born. And it's quite possible, even likely, that the younger kids' parents were toddlers when "Help!" and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"  were changing the world.
While it seems obvious that Amanda Overmyer will go for "Come Together" or "I Should've Known Better," and White will find an acoustic number off "Rubber Soul," the rest of the lot might well be doing a cover of a cover. Stevie Wonder's "We Can Work It Out"? Joe Cocker's "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window"? The "I Am Sam" or "Across the Universe" soundtracks? It's not likely any of them will make the world rethink "Hey Jude" the way Wilson Pickett did or tackle "Here, There and Everywhere" in a style similar to Emmylou Harris' take.
Likewise, these kids probably do not know which of these tunes have cultural weight and which are fair game for interpretation.
On paper, "Ticket to Ride" might appear no different than "In My Life" which might be no different than "Penny Lane." But remove the guitar riff from "Ride," change the melody of "Life" or miss a note on "Penny Lane" and you are toast to millions of Beatles fans.
The safe route is to sing somethign mid-tempo, "Eight Days a Week" or "I've Just Seen a Face." Something tells me, though, that David Archuleta will begin preparing tonight in his bed, singing "all my troubles seems so far away..."
The final 12 are: David Cook,  Jason Castro, Brooke White, Syesha Mercado,David Hernandez, Ramiele Malubay,  Chikezie, Archuleta,Johns, Cook, Smithson and Overmyer.
Cut were Kady Malloy, Luke Menard, Epperson and Danny Noriega.

'American Idol' Women Revive Memories of Paula And Randy's Glory Days

In between Randy and Paula expounding on their '80s credits - hair styles and video choreography for Abdul, bass and combing Steve Perry's hair for Mr. Jackson -  Simon Cowell rested on his latest crutch to explain the troubles of Carly Smithson, saying she - like others before her - had yet to choose the right song for her talents. Her problem goes much deeper than that, and that may be one of the most troubling  aspects of "American Idol 7": These performers lack the whole ball of wax - vocal ability, charisma, range, taste and personality - and the judges are really struggling to put their fingers on it.
Smithson has the pipes, there's no denying that, which means part of her problem is the material. Not exactly. The song she chose - on '80s night, mind you - was "I Drove All Night." Technically it is an '80 song as Roy Orbison recorded it in 1987 and Cyndi Lauper recorded it in 1989. (Orbison's version actually was release posthumously in the 1990s).
In Orbison's hands, it's a hard charging neo-rockabilly number, the sort that Bruce Springsteen returns to now and again, and like everything Orbison sang, it was rich and rounded with an exposed element of determination. Nothing about his recording has an expiration stamp - no vocoders, electronic drums or extraneous synthesizers. But that's not the version she performed.
Smithson opted to do the lightweight  Celine Dion semi-house beat version, which hit five years ago on the heel of it being a mainstay in a car commercial. The visuals of those ads were pretty cool and even featured in her Las Vegas show. And most people, including the judges, if they knew the song, they heard Dion's version in their head. Hers was a dance track as she is not the story-teller Orbison was, which makes Cowell's other key comment to Smithson - "you're a million times better than that song" - a misguided piece of advice.
Smithson was performing the cover of a cover  and that is what rarely works on this show unless the performer has reworked the tune to make it at least superficially appear unique. Once again, Smithson exuded no personality; the tattooed arm, bad teeth and stiff performing style are antithetical to the Dion and Orbison models; and unlike at least three of her competitors, there's little sense that she has any playfulness or stylistic range.
Those qualities have been key to past winners and runners up, especially Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken and Fantasia. They gave audiences multiple reasons to like them in addition to performing solidly week after week, which should lead to Smithson's earlier than expected dismissal.
The contestants this season, beyond Ramiele, do not  grasp how to play to the strengths of their vocals and simultaneously work the camera.
Brooke White's  move - reduce Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" to an unplugged version -  was a smart one even if it stripped the song of  all dynamics.  Amanda Overmyer and Syesha Mercado opted to do straight Karaoke but they picked the 100%-correct songs - Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself for Loving You" (Overmyer) and the Whitney Houston hit "Saving All My Love For You" (Mercado).
Kady Malloy - is she a cute dullard or a dull cutie, not sure - trashed "Who Wants to Live Forever," running from flat notes to a scream in an emotionless rendition of the Queen tune.
What's that? Queen did that song? Yup. But who on Earth knows it?
A theory: Apparently, after Live Aid reminded everyone about the greatness of  Bruce Springsteen and Peter Gabriel and Bowie and Mick and Tina and even Tracy Chapman, someone in the Malloy household decided it was Freddie Mercury who was going to feed the world. And support Freddie the Malloys did, buying up used copies of "Jazz" and "Hot Space" and wondering when will we get more Queen. More Queen! Now! 
Their prayers were answered when Freddie and the boys released "A Kind of Magic," which included songs from a film  I am guessing was played on endless loops during Kady's childhood, "Highlander." She must have believed that "How Will I Know" was this enormous hit and wondered why "Wayne's World" would use "Bohemian Rhapsody" instead of a "Highlander" track and figures that every stadium that plays "We Will Rock You" will burst into  "One Vision" any minute now.
Kady, you're at the end of the line. And take the equally dull Kristy Lee Cook with you. (Any '80s night is always a reminder of why I own so many jazz and blues albums).
On a side note, notice how the male and female front-runners slipped a notch for singing Phil Collins songs. Is that a question of talent, or taste?

'American Idol' Reveals That Everybody Loves Leonard Cohen...Or At Least One Of His Songs

The boys readjusted the scales Tuesday in the final gender-based elimination round, making viewers reconsider the talents of David Cook and Jason Castro for the better and Michael Johns and David Archuletta for the worse.
The theme was '80s night and the question posed to contestants was name your most embarrassing moment - and little did Danny Noriega realize he would have a new answer for that query after he finished performing a dreadful, campy rendition of "Tainted Love."  He finished that atrocity and should have immediately started campaigning harder than Hillary to secure the votes of flamboyant hand signalers who speak in text messaging abbreviations and just adore purple streaks in the hair. That seems to be his target audience. Or maybe it's people with a permanent look of disdain etched on their faces, or people whose strongest personal attribute is the shininess of their hair. Truly one of the most obnoxious contestants this show has ever booked, and he is revealing himself to be an unwatchable non-talent.
On the positive side, Cook retreated to the irrelevant side of 80s pop-R&B, took a Pete Wentz approach (musical, not just the hair) to Lionel Richie's "Hello" and not only impressed the judges but crafted an original version of a song that would seem to have no relevance in his emo-loving world. Definitely, his strongest - and most convincing -  vocal performance in the contest.
Castro was an even more pleasant surprise, dipping into the Leonard Cohen songbook for "Hallelujah," an obscurity from 1984 that Jeff Buckley turned into an hymn for the disenfranchised a decade later.  It took chutzpah to do a number like that: a) it's a remarkably difficult song to sing, requiring vocal control, range and a spot-on alignment with the acoustic guitar accompaniment; b) it's sloooowww  and nothing irks the judges more than a dirge; and c) considering the lack of knowledge about the bona fide hits of Heart, Connie Francis and the Spiral Staircase, he had to figure this might be the first time Randy, Paula and Simon are hearing this tune  with a cult following. Perhaps the biggest surprise was that Jackson and Cowell were not only familiar with "Hallelujah's"  providence, they're big fans.
On the negative side, the so-far flawless David Archuleta hit some off-key notes and sang with little confidence Tuesday. His song selection of Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise" revealed an absence of taste and knowledge; he brought no character to the tune.
Faring worse was Aussie Michael Johns, who Randy Jackson imagines has been singing  the greatest hits of INXS while holding a hairbrush and looking into the mirror since he was 6 or 7. But he was not singing an INXS song, he was singing a Simple Minds song. A Scottish band, not an Australian one. Doesn't matter, though - his perf here would have seen him tossed before Mig on "Rock Star." "Don't You Forget About Me" earned praise from Jackson and Abdul; Cowell had the smarter take: Johns is immensely talented but has yet to connect with the right song.
David Hernandez, the stripper from AZ, turned in a confident performance and his suddenly exposed (ha ha) past should not block him from entry into the top 12. Chikezie sounded good enough on "She Fills Me Up," but he's a bit thorny and may not be generating many votes for his onscreen personality.
But if America gets it right, Luke Menard will be joining Noriega on the bus out of Hollywood Thursday night. Who in their right mind sings "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" unless they are playing a prank on someone or reminding them of how awful their musical taste used to be? It's simple: George Michael music, A-OK; Wham, never! Luke, do you see anyone clamoring for Andrew Ridgeley records? Should your "most embarrassing" story concerned the collection of oversized white "Choose Life" T-shirts in the back of your closet?
Maybe Mr. Ridgeley is at home right now, wondering how to get Luke's phone number so they  could reunite as Wham of the 21st Century. Brian Dunkelman could be their emcee. State fairs and amusement parks - here they come.

Place Your "American Idol" Bets: Archuletta and Ramiele Are The Favorites

Not that anyone can place their bets, but between determining the likelihood of the Kansas Jayhawks winning the NCAA men's tournament (5-1) or the S.F. Giants winning the NL pennant (40-1), the chief bookie at the Wynn in Las Vegas has made David Archuleta the odds-on favorite to win "American Idol."
Archuleta, listed at 4-1 in the Wynn's "entertainment purposes only" odds, will be in a final two with Ramiele Malubay (6-1), according to Johnny Avello, director of the Race & Sports Book at Wynn Las Vegas Resort & Country Club.
Next to go - or at least the competition's biggest longshot - is Luke Menard. He's at 100-1 and if he holds on for another week it will be surprising.
Carly Smithson, who Paula Abdul would seemingly bet all of her "Forever Your Girl" royalties on, is listed at 11 to 1.  Michael Johns and Syesha Mercado are at 7-1 and 8-1 respectively. Avello has the Cooks lined up for back-to-back dismissals: Kristy Lee at 40-1 and David at 30-1.  The others: Jason Castro (10-1); David Hernandez (15-1); Kady Malloy (18-1); Danny Noriega (20-1); Asia'h Epperson (22-1); Amanda Overmyer (25-1); Chikezie Eze (60-1); and Brooke White (75-1).  Not a surprise in the bunch there, but who can say what will happen when they encounter Bo Bice-Lynyrd Skynyrd night.

'American Idol' Women Stumble Through the '70s

Clams is a term musicians use to refer to bad notes, the moment when a performer strays off-key. On Wednesday, the final 10 women were served on a  musical half-shell.
Not one warbler displayed personality or command of a tune; song selections were abysmal; and when the only number that seemed OK was an old Olivia Newton John hit, suddenly one felt the need to have their taste buds checked.
It's always easy to slam the first contestant, but the danger is in not knowing if that will be the highlight of the night. Carly Smithson, whose real talent may be in  Flowbee and Robocut  infomercials should this singing thing not work out, gave a thoroughly unoriginal, bar band reading of Heart's "Crazy on You." But at least it was in key.
Oddly, she was probably the only one who could say that about her entire performance.
Sysesha Mercado did a gender switch on Billy Paul's "Me and Mrs. Jones" that was, in the harsh words of Simon Cowell, not a clever choice. Syseha seemed scared of Mr. Jones; Billy Paul had Mrs . Jones right where he wanted her.
Brooke White pulled out the old six-string to perform Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" and was quite strong on the first verse but vocally fell apart once she hit the chorus. Why the judges the loved it was beyond me.
Ramiele did the perfect middle of the pack tune, the Thelma Houston disco hit "Don't Leave Me This Way." The judges tore her a new one - a bit unfairly. The girl did  a dull tune and did mostly OK with it.
Kristy Lee Cook pulled a partial decade violation, doing the Linda Ronstadt version of the 1963 tune "You're No Good," which was exquisitely recorded by Betty Everett and Dee Dee Warwick. In the filmed segment, Cook proved once again she's the  horse whisperer of the competition. That doesn't mean she should waddle around the stage like she just dismounted Seattle Slew. This girl thinks she's at an audition for Felix "Red River" Unger and the Saddle Sores. (Obscure "Odd Couple" reference for you young 'uns. Genius show - 10 years and it never jumped the shark).
Believing Pepe Le Pew  is an up and coming French designer is not a good thing. Amanda Overmyer was all skunk -  "Carry On My Wayward Son" was odorous in the '70s and it still is today. I am very worried that we have seen the last of her.
"Hopelessly Devoted to You." It's sort of like "I Just Called to Say I Love You." If somebody calls you with that sentiment it's nice, but ultimately you have to say "why are you singing that crappy song?" Well, why are you, Alaina?
The producers do her no favors by weekly showing  the three faces of Alaina. There's the cute goofy kid that we see in filmed segs; there's the singer who loves the camera and the camera loves back; and then there's the gloomy kid who is not quite sure whether she is to blame for an off performance. Her expression looks like a kid getting a lecture from her parents after she told them she crashed the family car and defended herself - to no avail - by saying at least she didn't get pregnant in the back seat like that tramp Jennifer did.  She needs a "judges look," something that says I'm proud and yet I understand that you want to help me. Not "um... whatever."
Alexandrea Lushington. You sang Chicago's  "If You Leave Me Now." Randy said safe choice. Simon said he thought you struggled.  If I voted, you'd be safe, but I have to wonder what makes you think that song fits your voice.
Kady Malloy sang Heart's "Magic Man," a song apparently never played in England because every DJ in America was wearing out the grooves on every copy available in the States.  Egads, Simon, get a cheat sheet. The buttons on her dress said Barbra, her vocals screamed barbed wire. Time to go.
And saving the valiant effort for last, Asia'h mangled Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" in the earlygoing and then recovered. Still, she violated a key "Idol" rule: No Celine, no Whitney. You can't win.
Clearly, while the world was devouring the Wilson sisters, Simon was busy with a French class project that involved translating Celine Dion lyrics to proper English. He just knows a little too much about her.          

 

'American Idol' Girls Told They Should Just Wanna Have Fun

If Fox ever gets the idea of airing "Celebrity Name That Tune," put all of your money on whoever is up against Simon Cowell. As accurate as many of his assessments have been over the years, his taste - as determined by what he pegs as good or even great songs - has always been dubious.
He's keen on frothy, disco-inspired pop and overwrought, melodramatic ballads and understands rock music music only in the context of current commercial appeal. Sound like Pearl Jam, it's dated; imitate Maroon 5, you're contemporary.
Never in the six previous seasons, however, has Cowell fessed up to his musical ignorance in the manner he did Wednesday when the dozen female semi-finalists  paraded their talents for the first time. He had never heard "More Today Than Yesterday," the single, catchy hit from Spiral Staircase, and doubly discounted the tune  after he was told who had a hit with it. Apparently, Cowell is also unfamiliar with the fact that the decade was littered with one-hit wonders.
Amy Davis' dull reading of "Where the Boys Are" was criticized for lacking the Patsy Cline touch. Would Connie Francis, who had the hit, take exception to to that comment?
The true mystery, though, came after Amanda Overmyer - the Rocker Nurse, for those of you who prefer nicknames - did a hybrid of the Amboy Dukes' and Them's  version of Big Joe Williams' blues classic "Baby, Please Don't Go," a song recorded by at least 40 rock and blues acts. (Just a quick gander at my iTunes library revealed  more than a dozen versions, from Aerosmith to Bob Dylan to Mose Allison). He seemed equally confused by the concept of scat singing.
Add to that, not one mention was made of the incomparable Dusty Springfield when the tiny tiger Ramiele Malubay delightfully rendered "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me." She held her own up against the Springfield version, but the judges accepted it on its own terms without the smudged rear-view mirror they use for viewing so many of the other perfs. Could it be he is also unfamiliar with the oeuvre of his homeland's greatest  female singer? Say it isn't so.
Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul did agree on one thing: The girls were not having enough fun onstage.
OK, so why harp on Cowell so much and not dissect the girls' performance? Simple answer: A lack of stand-out, better-than-the-rest performances. (The one thing that did stand out actually was how attractive this class is with the exception of the professionally groomed Carly Smithson).

'American Idol's' Boys Make The '60s Safe

A rough opening that revealed no inspiring performances, the dozen male semi-finalists were mostly a bundle of nerves as "American Idol" made its move to the public voting rounds.
And a few of the performances that earned raves from the judges, especially Michael Johns' "Light My Fire," came across as tentative on television, making one wonder once again if what we hear over air is that dramatically different from what the studio hears.
But - snicker, snicker - Paula and Simon are back to their old selves.
The theme was "The '60s" and for the most part the singers took the Barry Manilow approach - pop tunes and ballads - rather than using songs that defined the adventurousness of the decade. Quietly, as in not mentioned by anyone, there was a tribute to the great Harry Nilsson on Tuesday with the performance of one of best-known compositions, "One," and one of his biggest singles, his version of Fred Neil's "Everybody's Talkin'." His genius is just not celebrated enough.
Danny Noriega figured "'60s" was just a euphemism for old music that his grandparents listen to and chose the Elvis Presley 1957 hit "Jailhouse Rock." It received derisive comments from the judges - "grotesques" said Simon, "didn't allow you to do you thing" said Randy, "it's a safer song," quipped Paula - but not one of them noted that it was from the WRONG decade.
Judges were right on one count - it was one of the evening's worst. But the three that were hailed as the best - David Archuleta's "Shop Around," Jason Castro's "Daydream" and Johns' Doors cover - all opened with a fearfulness in the performers' voices that required a bit of mending as the songs progressed. Castro, the only one to use an instrument - acoustic guitar -  recovered the  quickest and delivered an assured version of the Lovin Spoonful hit; Archuleta exposed a maturity in his voice yet little command of melody.  None of the three is in danger of departing.
Robbie Carrico, who I fear will be around for awhile, did a record-perfect reading of the Three Dog Night hit "One." It was brilliant karaoke. Nothing more.
Performers who altered arrangements had a mixed bag: David Hernandez got so-so results toying with the meter on  "In the Midnight Hour"; Chikeze mangled "More Today Than Yesterday";  David Cook earned props for rushing "Happy Together"; Jason Yeager and Luke Menard tried the crack the introspective shells of their songs - "Moon River" and "Everybody's Talkin'," respectively - and went into "cruise ship territory; and Garret Haley hit most of the notes on Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up is Hard to Do"  but failed to excite.
Arguing with the judges after an iffy performance is never a smart idea and Chikeze  threw gasoline on the fire after delivering the worst perf of the night. He's a goner. And he'll probably be standing there with another combative personality, Luke Menard, and a guy who just doesn't seem ready for the competition, David  Cook. Menard should go first.      
More importantly, it was pleasant to have Simon Cowell back to his old self, calling performances horrendous and having no relevance and calling out Paula Abdul when she makes incongruous, go-nowhere remarks. Abdul was tossing out non-sequitors and incomplete sentences like beads at Mardi Gras and no one was catching them - except Cowell. Yup, that's at least the reason we watch.

Everything 'American Idol' Does, It Does It For Bryan Adams' Royalties

How did  the music of Bryan Adams become the beacon for season 7 of "American Idol"? Does "Canadian Idol" just do one Bryan night after another, interrupted only b Celine tributes? And considering Mr. Adams' newfound popularity, one would think  "Summer of '69," his one tolerable tune, would make i t into the mix just once.
But no, its all about treacly ballads.
The wise move was to eliminate the group sing. It had no relevance to the outcome or intentions of the contest here. Yet letting the contestants bring in their own instruments made the room feel like a Holiday Inn lounge circa 1975 when hits from Carole King, the Edison Lighthouse, B.J. Thomas and the Doors could all be part of the same set. Kid-in-the-car Josiah Lemming had the right idea by playing Mika's "Grace Kelly"; he completely erred in believing he knows more than Mssrs. Leiber, Stoller, Spector and Lennon in performing "Stand By Me." He's lucky he's not sleeping in the parking lot of Genghis Cohen and begging for a Monday night slot.
Now down to 50 from 164, they'll be whittling away tonight to get to the final 24. Based on what we've seen, that 24 should include: Danny Noeriega, Michael Johns, David Archuleta, Asia'h Epperson  and my fave, Syesha Mercado. David Hernandez, Carly Smithson  and Josiah are probably in the 24; my guess is that David Cook and his unnerving blue tongue was one of the contestants the judges were arguing abut at the end of Tuesday's program.
Sorry to see Jeffrey Lampkins depart, but in how many songs  can one rhyme "chocolate swirl" and "boy"?  Disney ballads are a no-no in this contest and he learned the hard way. There are "Biggest Loser" auditions coming up later this month.
And whatever happened to rocker nurse Amanda Overmyer? She sang well and disappeared. Hmmm....waiting in limbo on her fate. Grab a hankie and prepare to share the tears with the singers who come soclose and don't make the cut.

'American Idol' in Atlanta, GA: A Simpler Place And Time

Atlanta was the land of sympathy for "American Idol." We met a girl whose father was killed in a car crash back home while she was driving to the audition; an 18-year-old kid who has been living in his car for a year; a 16-year-old ninth grader; and Ryan Seacrest's parents. Feel the pain.
For some reason, nurse Amanda Overmyer, who wants to channel Janis Joplin and is likely to book Hollywood restaurant reservations saying she's Amy Lee from Evanescence, had no hard luck story. I kindamaybe liked her singing "Travelin' Band," but I'm a softie for John Fogerty tunes, especially CCR.
Brooke Helvie, the perky Miss South Florida Fair who lists singing right under god, dad and mom, was deemed the most annoying contestant ever by Simon. Clearly he has blocked all previous seasons out of his mind, lost his ability to crack wise and in a move that is his equivalent of George Costanza's "jerk store," come up with the term "bedroom audition."
  Their ears obviously bleeding from too many days of bad auditions, the judges said yes to the contestant who performed, quite possibly, the worst "My Funny Valentine" ever.
CITY: Atlanta
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 20
OF THE 20, WE HEARD: 6, including Josh Jones who cuts glass and has to audition with his back to the judges because he keeps making demonic eyes. Yea, we need more guys like that in Hollywood.
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 6
BEST SOB STORY EVER TO GET A GOLD TICKET: Asi'ah Aperson, who called her father in Missouri to say she was on her way to Atlanta only to get a call back from her brother a day later saying he had been killed in a car wreck.
SIGN THAT SIMON IS DIPPING INTO PAULA'S PILL JARS: He called Rascal Flatts' "Me and My Gang" a "very good song."
SONGS THAT DON'T WORK IN 'AI' AUDITIONS: Finger Eleven's "Paralyzer" and Fergie's "Glamorous"

'American Idol' Finds The Only People In Miami Who Don't Visit The Gym Or Beach Daily

Miami was one of the more entertaining audition shows thanks a couple of Two Ton Tessies who sang quite nicely. Always skeptical when the bff's enter the room as a duo - it usually spells doom for one or two - but these gals rendered smart versions of "Take Five" and "My Guy."
Beyond Brittany Wescott and Corliss Smith there was the short and cute Ramiele Malubay, the hot Syesha Mercado and her rehab grad dad and Robbie "don't show my boy band picture" Carrico.
Then there were questions. 
If a man can choose the stage name of Engelbert Humperdinck and have a hit record, then why can't man born Ghaleb Emachah do as well? He seems like a nice guy and while we never truly hear his guitar playing, it looked his fingers were in the right places.
But will America ever be able to look at the words Ghaleb and Emachah not think we are supposed to treat them like a jumble puzzle? And doesn't Emachah sound more like a first name? Could we just call him Ema?
Anyhow, he celebrated his gold ticket by kissing anyone and everyone. What would be real interesting would be to have him  kiss the winner of a Texas cage match between former "American Junior" Julie Dubela, who will not be going to Hollywood, and the proselytizing virgin Amy Flynn, who is bound to H'wood. One figures it isn't so much that Dubela has no singing talent, but this girl just looks like Lindsay Lohan in training. Should she encounter Miss Flynn, well, the two would be on the road to hell.
Together, though, "AI" producers would have had a fine battle of the 16-year-olds, good vs. evil, blond vs. brunette, innocence vs. been-there, done that. Ah the missed opportunities.
CITY: Miami
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 17
OF THE 17, WE HEARD: 9
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 4, I think, including the very shocked Shannon McGough (pictured) and the shockingly odd Brandon Black
ODDS THAT TWO MIAMI CONTESTANTS MAKE THE FINAL SIX: 4-1

'American Idol' Ventures to The Heartland

Omaha, Neb.  Hometown of Conor Oberst and Bright Eyes and someone in post-production actually knew that, adding a bit of fiddle from the last Bright Eyes album as the episode opened over amber waves of grain. Or green meadows. At least someplace without concrete or an ocean.
Figuring someone would step out a silo and into a studio and wow the world with a Gomer Pyle demeanor and a Jim Nabors singing voice (yea, I'm showing my age), but alas, it was for naught. Best part of the episode was playing "where's Paula?" and segueing into "where does Paula think she is?" and finally wondering what sort of proposition bets are being offered in Vegas regarding Paula and her appearance at the Super Bowl.
Regardless of how bad any person performs, any contestant who thinks a fictional band made a record, as in the case of Johnny who said he would perform "Shout" by Otis Day and the Knights, should be tossed. He should go see if he can hook up with the Playtone Galaxy of Stars.
And I thought last week was tedious.
CITY: Omaha, Neb.
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 19
OF THE 19, WE HEARD: 9, including one guy who kept forgetting the words
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 3
WORST EXCUSE FOR A SOB STORY GOING TO H'WOOD: 1, a 17-year-old girl who apparently does not see the world the way her father does so her grandparents had to take her to the addition. But after she got her gold ticket she was able to speak to daddy through the tears. I tell ya, these reality shows need writers. Now!
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
ODDS THAT A OMAHA TRYOUT MAKES THE TOP 12: 75-1

'American Idol' Not Too Crazy For Carolina

The "Idol" judges, apparently dazed by the travel to an out of the way town like Charleston, must have felt like they were judging a state fair rather than a nationally televised show. What do you expect from a state that puts mustard in their barbecue sauce?
One mediocre singer after another was paraded before them, and many turned indignant when told no; the most captivating part of the hour was a 16-year-old girl preaching about abstinence.
Yes, the proselytizing virgin will be sent to the gates of hell, I mean Hollywood, where she will be put to the test and need to stay focused and dedicated. Not with the singing, you knucklehead. It's the chaperon-free  hotels filled with teen boys with raging hormones and none of the control of Amy Flynn. (If she emerges from the competition with her right arm tattooed and an ink-crazed boyfriend/husband, we'll just  attribute it to  her wanting  to go old-school Hollywood).
I'm sure she'll be just fine and it's likely her stay in Hollywood will not be all that long. This was a show with few winners.
But one did get the gold ticket was a brother-sister duo that violated  a couple of "Idol's" unwritten rules, primarily the one that says you need to stand out on your own. Jeffrey did, Michelle didn't. They both sang well, he was melodic and tuneful but she was relegated to backup singer and they were sent off with Jeffrey being advised to teach his sister.
Every viewer will remember these two. They are big. "Biggest Loser" big. Whether that's a help or hindrance, remains to be seen, but I'm actually pulling for Jeffrey.      

CITY: Charleston, S.C.
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: Not sure. "A handful," according to Ryan Seacrest
OF THE 'HANDFUL', WE HEARD: 4
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 8, including big-boobed Aretha, a female Air Force pilot and a waitress with falling shoulder straps from Kelly Pickler's hometown.
SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 1
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
CRAZIEST SPELLING OF A NAME YOU THOUGHT WAS JEWISH: Highman
ODDS THAT A SOUTH CAROLINA CONTESTANT HAS A 'PAST': 85%

'American Idol' Beaches Itself In San Diego

A new low in "American Idol" audition shows has been reached.
No solid sob stories, no great auditions and one extra-creepy contestant meant that the highlight was Paula's sudden infatuation with a 16-year-old who had a vocal cord problem some years back. I see it now: On Randy Jackson's second album the two could duet on "Hot for Teacher."
Beyond Paula's goo-goo eyes for David Archuleta, though, the San Diego try-outs were lacking. Big-boy Alberto with the enormous fan, flowers between his toes and disgustingly long fingernails (what's with the nails this year?), was relentlessly awful. And he had no story to tell. Weak.
If he didn't creep you out, certainly the over-tattooed Mr. Smithson, husband of the former Carly Hennessey, did. Mrs. Smithson, who has only committed to inking the majority of her right arm, cries over her past visa problems, but never mentions the  millions of dollars  that were sunk into her non-career just a few years ago.

CITY: San Diego
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 31
OF THE 31, WE HEARD: 5
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 11, including the poor kid Blake who has now auditioned and been rejected 11 times due to some bizarre Oedipal desire to please his wannabe stage mother.
MEDIOCRE SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 1
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
WELL-STATED COMMENTS FROM SIMON: 4
BY RANDY JACKSON: 2
SINGERS WHO WILL DEFINITELY DO WELL: 0

'American Idol' Rounds Up Real Nice People in Dallas

It was just a few seasons ago that "American Idol" was reluctant to reveal that Fantasia was a single mom and even tossed Frenchy for her modeling career. Now, thanks to Internet sleuths, they're taking the lead on messed-up lives and glorifying the fact that one of the singers headed to Hollywood is a former meth head.
And never mind about TMZ or the Smoking Gun - "Idol" has already secured the old  photos to show how cleaned up she is with her two children. (Visible means of support and/or "dad" not included).
Maybe it's a new transparency on "Idol," going hand in hand with Simon Cowell's seemingly benevolent behavior toward contestants. Actually, the latter isn't really true. He is just deferring to his fellow judges so that not every "no" comes from him first; in  some cases with borderline talent, he gladly gives a "yes" to force the hand of the other two, and it is fun to watch Paula squirm and Randy hem and haw.
In Dallas, "Idol" went on a good-guy bender, showcasing one nice, polite person after another, pumping those feel-good juices as if episode 2 was shot by the Greater Dallas Chamber of Commerce. The freakiest thing we saw was a brother-sister duo singing a round in what I'm guessing was Italian. "Idol" actually made the guy who had never kissed a girl seemed, dare I say it, normal.
And as much as their montages can be tiresome, the stitched together clip of the not-so-talented singing lines of Kelly Clarkson's hit "Since You've Been Gone" was entertaining.
Naturally, one of the better performers already has a singing career.
CITY: Dallas
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 24
OF THE 24, WE HEARD: 8
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 11, plus the guy who was too old but was allowed to sing his original about being "brothers till the end of time."
SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 2
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 0
DIGS BY SIMON AT CLAY AIKEN: 1
DIGS BY SIMON AT OTHER SINGERS: 0
MOST DISGUSTING THING SHOWN ON 'IDOL,' POSSIBLY EVER: A contestants collection of fingernail clippings. (There I just threw up in my throat typing that).
GIRLS WHO MIGHT BE CALLED 'MINX' BY SIMON: 1 (Alaina Whitaker)
UNLIKELY SINGERS WHO I WOULD LIKE TO SEE DO WELL: 1 (Drew the farm boy whose unpronounceable name begins with a P).

'American Idol' Welcomes Flops From An Earlier Era

Not that they’d be willing to put up with the possibility of defeat or the decidedly unhip group sings, but there may be a future on “American Idol” for any act that gets dropped or departs the incredible shrinking EMI.
“Idol” rules of eligibility state that anyone can compete provided that, at the time of the show they do not have any contracts for talent representation, music recording, acting, modeling or merchandising. They must also be able to enter into a management contract, recording contract, talent contract, acting contract and/or merchandising contract. Producers figure there's no need to dredge up the past.
When the blogosphere began to explode with reports that onetime MCA Records flop Carly Hennessey would be “going to Hollywood,” the assumption was that “Idol” had somehow changed the rules. Hardly.
Instead, Hennessey’s documented drain on the now-shuttered Universal Music imprint has made her as untouchable as a flagpole in Phoenix in August. And being a backup singer is no avenue to stardom – don’t just ask Melinda Doolittle, ask the highly regarded thrushes Merry Clayton or Francine Reed.
Hennessey auditioned in San Diego. Details on whether she made it through could not be confirmed by Fox.

'American Idol' Avoids Cheese Steaks In Philly

Season 7 of "American idol" started like so many other years - hopefuls crowded into an arena and then a ballroom where the show's producers find freaks and the occasional talent to spotlight. Last year, the audition period was endless and monotonous,  padded and repetitive.
And when we got to the final dozen performers it seemed like we barely knew half of them, having spent so much time hearing sob stories and laughing at costumed goofballs. It's too early to start trying to figure out who has a shot at becoming the next Idol, where they can make an album that doesn't sell well and become the scapegoat for the franchise's declining numbers right before being dropped. Instead, we'll look at "AI" by the numbers rather than dwelling on whether we teared up while watching one girl sing for her sick mother and a young mother sing with the hope of getting her ill daughter better care.
CITY: Philadelphia
SINGERS HEADED TO HOLLYWOOD: 29
OF THE 29, WE HEARD: 8
NUMBER TOLD NO ON AIR: 7, or so it seemed
BEE GEES-LOVING EGYPTIANS WHO SPEAK LIKE BORAT AND LOOK FORWARD TO LOVING A WOMAN 'FROM HER HAIR TO HER NIPPLE': 1
MANIACS DIPPED IN GLITTER WHO RESEMBLE A YOUNG REGIS PHILBIN AFTER A SEX CHANGE RAISED BY A JEWISH MOTHER: 1
MUMBLERS WHO BELIEVE THEY SOUND LIKE PAUL ROBESON AND EDDIE VEDDER: 1
SOB STORIES GOING TO H'WOOD: 2
SOB STORIES SENT HOME: 3
NUMBER OF SINGERS I'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO HEAR PERFORM AGAIN: 1 for sure (Kristy Lee Cook) and maybe 2 (the guy who sang in Spanish)

Randy Jackson Rounds Up Talent For His Debut Disc

Randy Jackson has rounded up friends, clients, "American Idol" contestants and the woman who occupies the space next to him on "AI" for his Quincy Jones-styled "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow."
Album will be released March 11, right about the time "Idol" will be creating its final 12. Could they have Dogg Night in which this year's crop of contestants pay tribute to Randy's album (12 songs/12 singers) or  his production and bass-playing skills. And after looking at who appears on this album, is this a sign that he doesn't pal around with Bruce Springsteen or Journey anymore?
The one thing Jackson could do for America, despite the apparent conflict of interest, is expose them to Van Hunt, a performer who covers the territory between Sly Stone and the Stooges and does it admirably.
The songs and the singers on "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" after the jump. And don't forget that crazy Super Bowl rumor.

Carrie Underwod: Queen of the 'Idol' Empire

Carrie Underwood's label wants the world to see her as a newly accepted member of the country sorority and not the winner of some new-fangled sining competition. The achievements of her opening week sales of "Carnival Ride" are all tied to its place in the country pantheon: Did you know it's the best-selling first week of any country sophomore album since the inception of SoundScan and the largest country debut in digital album chart history, with digital sales of 44,928?
But to many, she will always be the top idol of the American Idols, who now must all look up to her as the single most popular winner.
Underwood's "Carnival Ride" sold 527,00 copies in its first week and when combined with the opening week of her debut, "Some Hearts," Underwood has the highest collective total of opening week sales for any "Idol" finalist. Sure it's a stretch but there has to be a way to get Clay Aiken's name off one record. Underwood's combined first week sales are 842,000, besting season two runner-up Aiken's total of 808,000. "Carnival Ride" saw a 40% spike over the debut week sales (315,000) of "Some Hearts."
Every other "Idol" champ has seen their tally dip when the second album is released.
Kelly Clarkson
"Thankful" - Released April 15, 2003 – 297,000
"Breakaway" – Nov. 30, 2004 – 250,000
Ruben Studdard
"Soulful" – Dec. 9, 2003 - 417,000
I Need an Angel – Nov. 23, 2004 - 96,000
Fantasia
"Free Yourself" – Nov. 23, 2004 - 240,000
" Fantasia" – Dec. 12, 2006 - 113,000

Pop Acts Dot L.A. 'Color Purple' Cast

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child and “American Idol 3” finalist LaToya London will appear in L.A. in the Ahmanson Theater presentation of "The Color Purple." Performances begin Dec. 13.

The Long 'December': Kelly Books A Tour

Kelly Clarkson has made it official: 26 performances in 23 cities over the course of seven weeks. Clarkson, whose arena tour was canceled dues to slow ticket sales, will be playing venues with between 3,000 and 7,000 seats, including Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles. A Texan, Kelly plays the Nokia Theater in Dallas on Nov. 23 and the Verizon Wireless Theater in Houston on Nov. 25. Clarkson's "My December" sold nearly 300,000 copies in its first week of release. Its cume is now 619,000.

The tour dates:
Oct. 14/15/16 New York The Beacon Theater
18 Philadelphia The Tower Theater
21 Uncasville, Conn. The Mohegan Sun
23 Boston The Orpheum Theatre
24 Washington D.C. DAR Constitution Hall
26 Buffalo, N.Y. Seneca Casino
28 Detroit The Fillmore
30 Toronto Massey Hall
Nov. 1 Chicago Chicago Theater
2 Minneapolis State Theater
5 Denver Paramount Theater
10 San Jose, Calif. San Jose Events Center
12 Seattle Paramount Theater
14 Sacramento Memorial Auditorium
16 San Diego Civic Auditorium
18 Los Angeles Gibson Amphitheatre
20 Phoenix Gammage Theater
23 Dallas Nokia Theater
25 Houston Verizon Wireless Theater
27 Atlanta Cobb Energy Center
29 Miami Mizner Park
Dec. 1 Tampa Ruth Eckerd Hall
3 Nashville Ryman Auditorium

Arista Signs Blake the Beatbox From 'Idol'

Gimme the beatbox to free my soul: Blake Lewis has inked with 19 Recordings/Arista and his debut should be in stores by the end of the year.
Clive Davis, who decides which "American Idol" participants get contracts with BMG labels, says Blake is already following instructions well. “His collaborators are all knocked out by him."
Producers working with Lewis include Jonathan “JR” Rotem (Rihanna's "SOS”); Ryan “Alias” Tedder (Timbaland); and S*A*M & Sluggo (Gym Class Heroes, Boys Like Girls).
Lewis came in second place behind Jordin Sparks on last season's show.He has been recording between tour dates with Sparks and the other finalists; tour ends Sept. 22 in Manchester, N.H.
Lewis, 26, hails from Redmond, Wash., and was a member of the a cappella group Kickshaw for four years.

Kelly Clarkson Starts Assembling a Tour

The first "American Idol" champ has a gig Sept. 6 at Monument Circle in Indianapolis to perform as part of the opening of the NFL season. She has three New York dates slated: A casino outing in Verona on Oct. 10 and two at Gotham's Beacon Theatre, Oct. 15 and 17. Details, as first alerted by idolator, appear in the tour section of her website. Anyone who bought a ticket for the tour announced in the spring gets dibs on the pre-sales.

Jordin Inks With Jive; Sings About Being Inked