I Am Beowulf!

Here are some early reactions to Beowulf, which is supposedly under a review embargo until November 12. Humph! I'll hold off a bit, but what I will say is this: in one scene when Angelina Jolie rises up out of her cave pool to seduce the mighty Beowulf, who has just killed her only son, Grendel, she walks on water, revealing that she is not only painted in gold, a la Goldfinger, but sports a tail and stacked high heels. Please. Barbie Doll stilettos in 5th century Denmark? There must have been debates about that one. I ran into Imagemovers partner Jack Rapke in the lobby of the Four Seasons Saturday.

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

He replied, "She's a demon! She's timeless." Two of the men I asked about this, intelligent film critics both, said it didn't bother them. I guess Jolie worked her magic.

Nicole Sperling lays out the VFX future in EW.

Jeff Wells writes a letter to Roger Avary.

Stephen Schaefer's early rave is mysteriously missing online:

Seeing is believing with Robert Zemeckis’ mighty, monumental “Beowulf,” which opens Nov. 16. This extravagant adaptation of the epic poem about a cursed kingdom invents a 6th century A.D. Denmark that is so richly detailed, romantic and engrossing it’s like seeing the Prince Valiant comic strip brought to blazing, 3-D life, a childhood fantasy realized in such a complete way you’re stupefied with delight. Using the motion capture technique that “Lord of the Flies” managed to create the lisping monster Gollum and that Zemeckis employed on the saccharine “Polar Express,” “Beowulf” is nothing less than an immersion into a world that is somehow familiar – they live in a harsh climate like Boston, they drink mead, get drunk and pass out, they have a wife and a mistress – and totally strange with its demons that morph into flying dragons, sea monsters that can be slain by blond Beowulf, a hero for all times. The fight scenes are startling, not the least because like “Eastern Empires” Beowulf is nude as he takes on Grendel in mano a mano to-the-death combat. The homoeroticism, a friend said, outdoes Gerald Butler’s “300” by “500.” Ray Winstone may look nothing like this sleek god-like warrior but he sounds perfect. The cast includes a brilliantly underplayed aging king by Anthony Hopkins, a Bette Davis-style villain in John Malkovich and Angelina Jolie’s siren, a shape-changing seriously seductive sylph who gets a laugh in her six-inch heels. Big Oscar Question: Is this in the running for Best Picture or Best Animated Feature?

UPDATE: And here's AICN's Moriarty. And Beowulf co-writer Neil Gaiman's blog posts a funny typographical error from transworld news:

Angelina Jolie has admitted she was got a little shy when she saw her nude scenes in her latest film “Beowulf.” The actress says although the nude scenes were stimulated, she was still a little embarrassed. “I was a little shy,” she says. “I was really surprised that I felt that exposed. There were certain moments where I actually felt shy – and called home, just to explain that the fun movie that I had done that was digital animation was, in fact, a little different than we expected.”

Comments

[Alan]

both the barbie doll and stiletto heels were invented in the 5th century in denmark. i'm surprised you did not know this

[Edward Wilson]

Lord of the Flies?...

[Kit Marlo]

I hear the movie wasn't finished till last week which is why we haven't had a report on its quality till now. I haven't heard a bad word about it so far. I think Schaeffer might be right. If it's enormous maybe this is the Best Picture nobody saw coming.

[T.Holly]

It would be a shame kit.

The heels and the numerous ways to hide Beowulf's bacon got big laughs, but with the mother of Grendel's nipples showing through her paint, it was hard to consider her stilettos for too long. The Christ story never broke through, even with the enormous religious mural, on the wall, in just one scene. As best I could tell, they were Mormons, anyway, assuming Mormon woman are desperate to be pregnant with male spawn, which must explain the completely insensitive theme song which provides counter-programming for today, and counter-point for the story.

[David C.]

Wells thinks Zemeckis should get the Best Animation Oscar for a motion capture film? Over Brad Bird? That doesn't even require a rebuttal.

[Kristopher Tapley]

I saw this on Sunday (great third act -- GREAT), but I could have sworn the "heels" looked like wickedly morphed horned toes bent backward to give some weird appearance of a "heel."

In any case, the moment they came out of the water, the crowd started laughing. Hm...

[Clyde Williams]

All I know is the look of it is hideous. Who decided everything should look like a crappy video game?

[anne thompson]

kris, you don't know your fashion. Look at the picture!

[Mitch Vanipok]

I don't get it. What's the typographical error?

[unknown]

Another futal attempt wasted money and PASS!

[Brad]

futal?

[unknown]

Fumble & futile combined, sorry bad attempt for a play on words!

[T.Holly]

I think Kris may be correct, because her son had talons, and he didn't inherit them from Beowulf.

[Andrew]

"Although the nude scenes were stimulated..." An easy mistake to make, really.

[Kyle]

Has anyone heard of freek.com giving out a free screening of beowulf and drinks?