"Pirates" throws big party

Keith Richards in a Disney movie?

It seems as out of place as Jerry Lewis in a Merchant Ivory opus.

I grew up a happy, innocent lad intoxicated with all things Disney. Then I grew up some more and became a surly, confused teen and transferred my allegiance to Keith, who was intoxicated.

And a lot more than that, sure. Forget about Mick, the pros will tell you that Keef was/is the heart and soul of the Stones, all that cigarette and bar chord swagger, all that forbidden stuff that seems the polar opposite to the innocently magical gospels of Uncle Walt.

But it’s all good, as the kids say. Compartmentalized passions; any right-thinking adult can enjoy both worlds.

And then they collide: The man who in 1973 famously (and allegedly) had his narco-steeped blood replaced like an oil change, among so many other non-alleged wicked deeds, appears in a Disney movie.

Now bear in mind, in the tender reaches of my 43-year-old brain, “Disney movie” translates to things like “Jungle Book,” “The Love Bug,” “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.” Young Kurt Russell, middle-aged Dean Jones, mush mouthed Buddy Hackett; these were the kinds of people who appeared in Disney movies.

Of course, Keith as a pirate in “At World’s End” makes perfect sense. He plays an aging, weathered veteran of life, a renegade, a survivor. Himself. Depp patterned his own “Pirates” character after him, and Depp is a man of taste, he knows what’s good—he’s 43 too, for God’s sake.

Then there’s the world premiere of the thing, and there’s Keith. Live and in person. At Disneyland. Mickey Mouse wanders around within feet of him, babies are in strollers, cotton candy is for sale.

And Keith?

No smoldering butt hangs from his lower lip, no battered Telecaster dangles from his skeletal frame like weapon, no half-empty fifth of Rebel Yell is gripped in his hand. In fact, he’s sucking on a bottle of water, and has a weird, trimmed, incoming mustache that makes him look like an ancient grocer.

But really, he’s still Keith. Artfully removing himself from his high canvas MTV interview chair, he still moves like a marionette with one string cut, and, at 63, he’s a grandfather who recently mentioned that he snorted his own father’s ashes, causing timbers to be shivered mightily in Mouse exec circles.
Disney is still Disney.

I stand there watching Keith Richards and his handlers trundle down the red carpet toward Adventureland, and it all makes sense. (P. Gilstrap)

Comments

[Lauren]

Keith Richards looks more like the crypt keeper than a real human being. Speaking of the walking dead, you must check out this site i work with www.hollywoodzombies.com. The pics are hilarious, and the resemblances are uncanny. Since when did Johnny depp decide to become Keith outside of Pirates? Someone has definitely taken their role to seriously.