11:35 -- Nevermind Huckabee. Chingy? Really? Memo to Chingy: Crossing picket lines isn't "crunk." Wait, unless "crunk" is a bad thing. But I don't think it is.
11:36 -- "A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar..." And with that, Leno is pulled off the air for another two months.
Joking. Leno doesn't deliver the punch line, instead adding, "See, I have no idea what they say because there's no writers!"
But wait a minute, isn't that non-joke a joke? Didn't someone write the joke about there not being a joke?
OK, now I'm confusing myself. But somewhere across town, a WGA leader is probably wondering the same thing.
11:37 -- First NBC joke! "Do you know there are actually more people picketing NBC now than watching NBC right now?" (NBC execs are flying down to Boca today for the big annual GE confab. I'm sure the head of turbines just emailed this to Silverman and Graboff.)
11:38 -- Leno explains why he came back: "We have essentially 19 people putting 160 people out of work. We continue to support the Guild. But, I think it's easy to empathise with those people if you see the faces of the people who work here. Like Bob, out lighting guy." Cue obese slob with a flashlight. Oh, below-the-line folk, you're so below-the-line!
11:39 -- Wait, did Leno just out his wife as a scab? Yikes. "I'm doing what I did the say I started. I write jokes and wake my wife up in the middle of the night and say, 'Honey, is this funny?' So if this monologue doesn't work it's my wife's fault."
Yup, there goes Mavis' WGA card. (Mavis gets a big cheer from the crowd.)
11:40 -- Paging Hugh Grant. Leno finds himself at a disadvantage to Letterman for the first time in over a decade. (Of course, I put my money on Leno still winning the ratings battle, when numbers are out tomorrow.) "Dave was able to get a deal because Dave has his own company. I don't blame him for getting a deal, God bless him. We have to go by ourselves up against the CBS machine. One man against a monologue."
11:40 -- C'mon, we all know Jeff Zucker's butler is former "Dateline NBC" anchor Stone Phillips!
11:42 -- Seven minutes in, and we're finally getting a Britney Spears joke. Ahh. The universe is realigned, normalcy has returned.
11:42 -- "Tomorrow, of course, is the Iowa caucus. As you may know, 'caucus' is a Greek word which means, "The only day anyone pays any attention to Iowa."
That sound you just heard: The entire state of Iowa flipping over to Letterman. Sorry, Mike Huckabee!
11:43 -- Kevin Eubanks says something about not telling a joke because of the writers. I don't think anyone wrote that one, so you're safe, Kevin.
11:44 -- Monologue ends; I gotta say, so far the show's chugging along just fine. The audience seems to agree, cheering when Leno turns to Eubanks: "That went OK, Kev. How did my wife do? That worked all right. Thanks, honey!"
Mavis, Patric Verrone on line one.
11:45 -- Irony time: Jib Jab, of course, first gained fame for their politically-themed cartoons via the Internet. "The Tonight Show" started airing the shorts a few years ago. Internet programming, of course, is at the center of the current WGA strike.
11:46 -- Jib Jab video is a recap of 2007 newsmakers. Wow, that Sen. Craig-in-a-bathroom-stall story really does have legs; an illustration of Craig in the stall with a leather-clad big bear of a man scores the biggest laugh from the audience (right).
11:48 -- Scooby Doo: DirecTV spokesman, or Sell-out?
11:51 -- "Tonight Show free-for-all." Leno takes questions from audience. Says they're not pre-determined, like in the past. Kinda dangerous, if that's true; someone's bound to ask a touchy strike question. Leno plays it safe by calling on a kind-looking older man, who asks Leno if he has ever considered doing the show from "the great town of Branson, Missour-ah."
Leno deflates his hopes: "Probably not going to happen."
11:52 -- This is where Kevin Eubanks and John Melendez are no help. Leno asks both of them about their holidays. "Oh yeah, it was great," a deer-caught-in-headlights Melendez says. Yikes. Thankfully, Leno moves on to an adlib about his two favorite holiday songs -- including Dan Fogelberg's "Old Lang Syne." The host then gets personal and says the song -- about a guy in showbiz who meets an old girlfriend -- happened to him. Actually, it's a pretty amusing story -- Leno says he ran into the ex-g.f. at the infamous "Cheers" episode of "The Tonight Show" (way back in 1992) and asked why her mother wouldn't let her move to California with him. She said her mom was worried he'd turn her Catholic. "But I'm Presbyterian -- we go to the same church," he told her. "Yeah, but mom said, when people go to California, they change," Leno chuckled.
I kinda like this segment.
11:53 -- Leno says he doesn't miss doing a New Year's Eve show -- "it's the worst show of the year. Every guest is booked, and you wind up with plate spinners."
11:54 -- First Monica Lewinsky joke of the night. Mavis just called; she didn't approve that one.
11:59 -- Leno admits his wife has never heard that ex-g.f. story before.
12:00 -- GOP hopeful Mike Huckabee is brought out to the band's rendition of "Everyday People."
A few seconds later, Huckabee says, "People are looking for a presidential candidate who reminds them more of the guy they work with rather than the guy that laid them off. I think that's part of what's going on right now." Ahh, "Everyday People." I get it. BTW, I'm not sure I work with anyone like Huckabee; although, there is that guy in graphics who keeps yammering about overhauling the tax system.
12:02 -- Mike Huckabee, a walking Bryan Adams song. "I played that guitar until my fingers nearly bled" -- referring to his first ax. Tell me, Mr. Huckabee, was it the summer of 69? The best days of your life? I guess nothing can last forever. Forever!
12:05 -- Apparently seven years ago, as governor of Arkansas, Huckabee moved into a triple-wide trailer while the governor's mansion was being rehabbed. Leno told countless Arkansas-governor-living-in-a-trailer jokes at the time, and even had Huckabee on live via satellite. Leno runs the clip -- and yowza, Huckabee was much larger then too. More after the break. (Guess there's plenty of time to keep Huckabee on through two segments.)
12:09 -- Huckabee's been definitely studying the Bill Clinton handbook. Not only is he also from Hope, Ark., and has had weight problems, but here he is, jamming on the bass guitar with the "Tonight Show" band. Yep, shades of Clinton on "Arsenio Hall" in 1992. Of course, back then, such a thing was still a novelty. Now, every candidate is required to go on talk shows and do goofy stuff.
12:11 -- Huckabee, the real "Oprah" candidate: "My life was kind of representative of like a lot of people in this country that just don't take care of themselves. We don't have a healthcare crisis as much as we have a health crisis, and I was the epitome of it." Yo go, girl!
12:14 -- Blah blah blah consumption tax blah blah V.A.T. blah blah prebate of taxes blah blah progressive tax system. Wake me when the politician guy in the suit plays his guitar while making funny faces again.
12:15 -- Fewer writers means more time for Huckabee to give his stump speech. Meanwhile, my mind is wandering... howcome Leno didn't grow a strike beard? I would've liked to have seen it. Think it's all white, with a small black patch?
12:17 -- Huckabee: "I have a great respect for Barack Obama. I think he's a person who is trying to do in many ways what I hope I'm trying to do and that is to say let's quit what I call 'horizontal politics.' Everything in this country is not left, right, liberal, conservative, Democrat, Republican. I think the country is looking for somebody who is vertical, who is thinking, 'Let's take America up and not down,' and people will forgive you for being left or right if you go up." Obama/Huckabee in 08?
12:21 -- Promo for "The Apprentice: Celebrity Edition." Please, can someone settle the strike before 9 p.m. ET Thursday? No?
12:22 -- Chef Emeril Lagasse comes out to the sounds of his own theme song (for "Emeril Live") and hands Kevin a bowl of something. And doesn't say "Bam." What's the deal?
12:23 -- Yikes -- out-of-town crowd. Emeril notes how badly USC spanked Illinois in the Rose Bowl (the chef was grand marshal of the Tournament of Roses parade) -- and the audience loudly boos. Or wait, did the WGA picketers finally bum rush the studio?
12:23 -- Emeril's making pepper steak.
12:24 -- BAM!
12:25 -- A history lesson on the origins of "BAM!" Emeril apparently started using it to keep the crew of his show awake during marathon taping sessions.
12:28 -- Pot head humor at Kevin's expense. Kevin laughs.
12:29 -- How is Emeril still alive? Or does grease run through his veins freely?
12:29 -- Awkward hand shake/hug/kiss/thumb's up between Emeril and Jay (left).
12:34 -- Chingy's been around the world, and yes, he's seen a lot of girls. But he's never seen a girl that's looked so fine.
12:36 -- Put your hands up!
12:37 -- Tomorrow night, "Deal or No Deal" host Howie Mandel, and a man who spent 13 years traveling around the world. Yowza, the SAG don't-cross-the-picket-lines memo appears to be working so far.
POSTSCRIPT: So, did Leno break WGA rules? It looks like he did. The WGA was pretty adamant that members not write any gags, even for themselves. But will the Guild really take on Leno if he opts to a more open interpretation of the rules? (Especially because the precedent is on Leno's side: When Johnny Carson came back in 1988, he wrote his own gags until his scribes return.) Plus, I assume the WGA wants to stay on Leno's good side; Leno has a pipeline to Middle America, who will continue to watch him skewer the studio chiefs nightly. (And even if Leno causes a ruckus, it's his final year on the "Tonight Show," and I'm sure he wants to continue to put his best foot forward. Jay's signature is his monologue; it's hard to imagine the show without it.) It'll be interesting to see how the WGA reacts to Leno's performance on Thursday.
-- Michael Schneider
Ratings? I don't think too many people are watching. I changed the channel, Leno's show was boring and definitely not funny.
Posted by: Pete | January 03, 2008 at 04:49 AM
Someone please help the poor writer. Did you see on Leno how these people live. They live in shanties on the streets in CA. No news yet if Arnold is going to levy a property tax on the squatters.
Posted by: Jack | January 03, 2008 at 08:31 AM
I disagree. At least for now, I find Leno far more interesting without writers than Letterman with writers. Letterman is a known quantity but what is it like to see something more live and unscripted? So much more can happen, even though the unscripted show is still rehearsed.
You found Leno boring and unfunny -- are you a regular Leno watcher and found the show suddenly not to your taste?
Posted by: ej | January 03, 2008 at 08:44 AM
Sorry, I was referring to Pete's comments before I saw Jack's post come in.
Posted by: ej | January 03, 2008 at 08:50 AM
Does Jay need writers for a monologue? Does Jay need A listers for people to watch the show. Jay just might return to ways of what made Carson so funny. Be humorous. Late night talk shows have become nothing but a commercial for movie of the week. Was Johnny not at his best when he messed up a line. Jay stick to your guns. Write your own monologue. Make this last year of yours as good or better when you were a guest host for Johnny. Do your best standup. Jay there is plenty of material. Read a few newpapers. Open up a website for viewers to send you jokes. Not only will the jokes be funnier you will be able to gauge just what your viewers find funny and what they care about. It is a shame that the writers union had rather put 160 people out of work just so 19 can get fat.
Posted by: Jack | January 03, 2008 at 09:00 AM
OmiGosh. Jay beat Dave in the ratings. A Big applause for the unions members watching Jay. Happy Days. When you're hot you're hot.
Where are you flatfoot Bill. Brushing up on your command of the english language. Need new curse words. Watermelon Watermelon Watermelon Rind. Just look at the Ratings Board and see who's behind. Fi-Cores all the way
Posted by: Jack | January 03, 2008 at 09:38 AM
Captain Kirk, this is WG East. We need you to attack the 800 lb gorilla. He is making a mockery of us all. Secondary targets. Music Unions, SAG. Music writers are scabs for letting their music being played. Actors are scabs for still filming. The A Listers have not joined us in our cause to take down the great satans.
WG East, this is Captain Kirk. I belong to SAG. Suggest you make signs and walk in circles. Write some chants.
Posted by: Academy of Union Organizers in the 21st Century | January 03, 2008 at 11:01 AM
I saw Jay Leno last night he was funny maybe he doesn't need writers and maybe thats why the amptp wont't bargin with them,they don't want them back,they want freelance writers its their right.
Posted by: Frank Sr. | January 03, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Actually, I empathize with y'all. But Huckabee's appearance was very important. His FairTax plan is something I hope y'all will take a good look at - primarily because those Exec's that make the big money have tax avoidance options that we do not have.
FairTax, Yes! ( http://snipurl.com/becomeamember )
Without it, WHOA! ( http://snipurl.com/meltdowninprogress )
Not just another politico:
Hope for tax reform, I see,
Will be voting HUCKABEE! ( http://snipr.com/nextrung )
Posted by: Ian | January 03, 2008 at 11:41 PM