Right Place, Right Time? Wrong Question.

The myth of Lana Turner's discovery at Schwab's Pharmacy, with its faint whiff of sexual predation, is ingrained in the public imagination -- particularly among the busloads of newcomers to L.A. who may have never heard of Lana Turner but think they've got to find the right parties to crash, the right gyms to join, the right bars to hang out at, to be similarly spotted.

It's a fantasy about as substantial as a movie-set façade, of course. It's true that connections, friendships and chance encounters play a crucial role in most actors' careers, but so do talent, experience, training and representation. And usually the surest way to be "discovered" by those seeking the next star, or at least the next highly employable actor, is to be caught in the act of acting, as Mercedes Reuhl once put it.

Los Angeles Magazine reporter Dave Gardetta recently got flamed, or at least well-crisped, by the righteous actors on the popular bulletin board Wolfesden.net. His offense? A long post asking Wolfesdenizens for stories about "the outrageous, the pathetic, the surefire, the questionable choices, the long-haul investments of time and the pratfalls that may or may not lead to discovery," as part of the magazine's February "Actor's Issue." Specifically, he wanted actors to name names of everything from industry-heavy dog parks to dance clubs, from temp jobs to yoga studios, that had been proven to be Schwab's-like in their discovery success rate. He even had the temerity to ask, "What dogs attract producers?"

Wolfedenizens weren't amused. "Getting discovered? Go read a book and learn how it's really done," snapped Eitan Loewenstein. "Your article would be interesting... perhaps in Ohio or Maine," wrote Brad Blaisdell. "The 'Old Hollywood' is dead... The things you're talking about are desperate, and being or appearing to be desperate in this town is the kiss of death. It gives off a stench that can be smelled for miles." Actor Assaf Cohen wrote Gardetta an "open letter" urging him "not to go forward with your sensationalist story about how to get 'discovered' in Hollywood. Besides being insulting to all the hard-working actors (yes, many of us work very hard at our profession), it further perpetuates the stereotype of the dumb actor who relies on blind luck to become a star."

For his part, Don Raymond corrected the famous myth: It was actually at the Top Hat Café that Turner ran into Billy Wilkerson, owner of The Hollywood Reporter, who recommended her to an agent he knew. And casting director Billy DaMota, who's seldom quiet about any controversy, lectured Gardetta on the "false hope" conveyed by the Lana Turner legend, tut-tutting, "Being an actor is a process, not a party. Even Lana Turner pounded the pavement, just as millions of actors have done since."

I should say that I enjoy Kit Rachlis' new, improved Los Angeles Magazine, particulary the cutting-edge reporting of Amy Wallace (though admittedly her cuts have come pretty close to the bone). And I admired their last special "Actor's Issue," which managed to be bigger on myth-busting than myth-peddling while remaining reasonably fun in the bargain. Here's hoping Gardetta can strike the right balance.